Double standard?

I'm from Southern Africa and I don't mean to bombard you guys with more race related questions but with how race obsessed your society is ( you did technically invent the concept of race tbh) I don't know whether you hate or like questions or conversations regarding race. I started consuming more of your media and started to see some double standards regarding interracial dating specifically the topic of racial disparities in dating, whenever the topic of why black women are less likely to date white men etc. They always give an answer for white men but never bother or care to ask black women and in rare cases where they do ask why black women are less open to interracial dating they basically see them as so unattractive that they don't deserve to give consent in relationships, which is kinda weird especially since a lot of the data they show states that black women were the only race of women to show interest in white men they still give some weird reason like black women are racists or no one cares what the least desirable women have to say, which fair enough but if it's a subject like relationships where both parties should give consent why are black women not allowed acknowledgement in their relationship preferences like every one else. I expected the west to have better respect between races in relationships but you seem worse than post apartheid southern africa ( in regards to interracial dating that is)

Reply 1

offshore-cauldro

14

Honestly, I think it’s really complicated, and yeah, the UK can be super weird about race, especially with stuff like interracial dating. People seem obsessed with stats and “preferences,” but it’s like they don’t stop to think about how those preferences are shaped by stereotypes and media. I’ve noticed how black women especially get talked about in such a dismissive way, like people just assume they’re less desirable or that their opinions don’t matter as much, which feels really unfair. If relationships are supposed to be about two people, why does it feel like society only cares about one side of the story? And the whole idea that black women are somehow more racist or don’t deserve to have standards is so wrong—it’s like they’re not even allowed to be seen as fully human in these conversations. It’s upsetting, because you’d think we’d be better at this kind of thing, but instead, it feels like people just hide their biases behind stats and “preferences” without actually questioning why those patterns exist in the first place. Also, in my area, I notice it more with South Asian girls - many brown girls will only want to date brown boys or only not-brown boys, and it’s the same vice versa. I feel like among the younger generations people should be more open but I’m not sure they are.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by offshore-cauldro

Honestly, I think it’s really complicated, and yeah, the UK can be super weird about race, especially with stuff like interracial dating. People seem obsessed with stats and “preferences,” but it’s like they don’t stop to think about how those preferences are shaped by stereotypes and media. I’ve noticed how black women especially get talked about in such a dismissive way, like people just assume they’re less desirable or that their opinions don’t matter as much, which feels really unfair. If relationships are supposed to be about two people, why does it feel like society only cares about one side of the story? And the whole idea that black women are somehow more racist or don’t deserve to have standards is so wrong—it’s like they’re not even allowed to be seen as fully human in these conversations. It’s upsetting, because you’d think we’d be better at this kind of thing, but instead, it feels like people just hide their biases behind stats and “preferences” without actually questioning why those patterns exist in the first place. Also, in my area, I notice it more with South Asian girls - many brown girls will only want to date brown boys or only not-brown boys, and it’s the same vice versa. I feel like among the younger generations people should be more open but I’m not sure they are.

You worded it perfectly. I've actually seen people from the west disagreeing with someone who happened to find black women attractive, it's really weird, like they were asked what they prefer racially and they answer "black women" the amount of people disagreeing with the persons preference is weird. If I stated that I found blondes attractive and some random people answer no to what I personally prefer is weird. I feel like every time you guys have conversations about interracial dating it gives closeted racists to voice their disgusting opinions and I'm proud to say post apartheid Southern Africa isn't leading in that direction at all, we seem to be more respectful about the topic where we just state our preferences and if a race isn't mentioned we just assume you don't personally find them attractive. I've literally heard racist white south africans be more respectful about their lack of attraction to black women than white people from the west, it's crazy.

Double standard?

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