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Can’t tell if I like him

I’ve been on 2 dates with this boy and he is honestly so nice, like I’ve never had anything like it, probably because I’m used to guys that stress me out. He shows interest, is reliable with his replies, we can talk so easily, like there’s nothing wrong but we kissed on the 2nd date and I just wasn’t feeling it much, he was a bit too full on with his kisses and I’m not sure if the physical attraction is fully there. I’m so confused on what to do, because he seems amazing but I’m not sure if I should be feeling more by now?

Reply 1

Original post
by Anonymous
I’ve been on 2 dates with this boy and he is honestly so nice, like I’ve never had anything like it, probably because I’m used to guys that stress me out. He shows interest, is reliable with his replies, we can talk so easily, like there’s nothing wrong but we kissed on the 2nd date and I just wasn’t feeling it much, he was a bit too full on with his kisses and I’m not sure if the physical attraction is fully there. I’m so confused on what to do, because he seems amazing but I’m not sure if I should be feeling more by now?

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Reply 2

I’d say if you have reservations at the outset it’s probably best to knock it on the head. It not great dumping some on 3rd or 4th date when expectations are rising. Or give it a chance based on the positive things you say, you can always give him some feedback on kissing technique

Reply 3

I think the most important thing is what you think of his personality. If you think that part of him is amazing then you are so lucky because that is what will never fade in life, while physical traits diminish and decay. I think he may have also just been nervous to kiss you and perhaps thought that was what you wanted. I would tell him the next time you kiss to tell him what you want if he does it again. I don’t agree with being haphazard and non-communicative in relationships because understanding each other and communicating is the most important thing and the main indicator to a great relationship. Most of the time I think emotional connections oddly lead to it. How old are you guys by the way? This will indicate the importance of physical attraction, in my opinion.

Reply 4

Original post
by Anonymous
I think the most important thing is what you think of his personality. If you think that part of him is amazing then you are so lucky because that is what will never fade in life, while physical traits diminish and decay. I think he may have also just been nervous to kiss you and perhaps thought that was what you wanted. I would tell him the next time you kiss to tell him what you want if he does it again. I don’t agree with being haphazard and non-communicative in relationships because understanding each other and communicating is the most important thing and the main indicator to a great relationship. Most of the time I think emotional connections oddly lead to it. How old are you guys by the way? This will indicate the importance of physical attraction, in my opinion.

Sorry I meant to say emotional connections oddly lead to physical attraction.

Reply 5

People won't necessarily know how you want to be kissed. Instead of looking for someone who knows how you want to be kissed on the first try, look for someone with whom you can comfortably and productively have a conversation about kissing, who will be motivated to learn how you prefer things. From what you said ("we talk so easily") you might have found one of those.

This is applicable to lots of other things too - sex, the practicalities of cohabitation, what you want for Christmas/your birthday/Valentine's day... the list goes on. Open communication is OP.

Reply 6

Original post
by Anonymous
I’ve been on 2 dates with this boy and he is honestly so nice, like I’ve never had anything like it, probably because I’m used to guys that stress me out. He shows interest, is reliable with his replies, we can talk so easily, like there’s nothing wrong but we kissed on the 2nd date and I just wasn’t feeling it much, he was a bit too full on with his kisses and I’m not sure if the physical attraction is fully there. I’m so confused on what to do, because he seems amazing but I’m not sure if I should be feeling more by now?

One of the biggest lies you've been sold by Disney and society is the idea that love at first sight and proper connection is immediate. Plenty of people who've felt the click immediately have gone on to have rubbish relationships, it helps to garner initial attraction but it won't impact the outcome of your relationships.

So personally my advise would be to go on several more dates with him and see what comes of it. As a woman, you are neurologically designed to pair bond with men who are familiar to you so it may develop. If you get to about 90 days and it's not there, move on.

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