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horrorboy
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#1
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At a hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

Surveying the worried faces, the doctor said: "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news. The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, a you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. One man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more expensive?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and said to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've been used."
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horrorboy
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#2
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see im not sexist! :embarasse
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Svivafia
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#3
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^_^ that actually made me smile..
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John!
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Hehe. I've heard that joke before but the subject of the joke was Lawyers
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horrorboy
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(Original post by John!)
Hehe. I've heard that joke before but the subject of the joke was Lawyers
hey tell it! was it any different?
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John!
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Nah, brains of three people, and one of them was a layer and it cost a lot more because the brain was never used. :P
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horrorboy
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(Original post by John!)
Nah, brains of three people, and one of them was a layer and it cost a lot more because the brain was never used. :P
ah ok
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horrorboy
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#8
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A young man was showing off his new sports car to his girlfriend. She was thrilled at the speed.

"If I do 200mph, will you take off your clothes?" he asked.

"Yes!" said his adventurous girlfriend.

And as he gets up to 200, she peeled off all her clothes.

Unable to keep his eyes on the road, the car skidded onto some gravel and flipped over. The naked girl was thrown clear, but he was jammed beneath the steering wheel.

"Go and get help!" he cried.

"But I can't. I'm naked and my clothes are gone!"

"Take my shoe", he said, "and cover yourself."

Holding the shoe over her pubes, the girl ran down the road and found a service station. Still holding the shoe between her legs, she pleaded to the service station proprietor, "Please help me! My boyfriend's stuck!"

The proprietor looked at the shoe and said, "There's nothing I can do...he's in too far."
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Wild Thing
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#9
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(Original post by horrorboy)
At a hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

Surveying the worried faces, the doctor said: "I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news. The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky, a you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. One man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more expensive?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and said to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've been used."
hehehehehehe :rofl: :rofl: EXCELLENT!!!! :p:
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Vixen
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The UN recently conducted a world wide survey. The only question asked was:

''Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?''

The survey was a huge failure.

In Africa they didnt know what 'food' meant.

In India they didnt know what 'honest' meant

In Europe they didnt know what 'shortage' meant.

In China they didnt know what 'opinion' meant.

In the Middle East they didnt know what 'solution' meant.

In South America they didnt know what 'please' meant.

And in the USA they didnt know what 'rest of the world' meant
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idiopathic
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#11
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hehe
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parsimony
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#12
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(Original post by VixenIW)
The UN recently conducted a world wide survey. The only question asked was:

''Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?''

The survey was a huge failure.

In Africa they didnt know what 'food' meant.

In India they didnt know what 'honest' meant

In Europe they didnt know what 'shortage' meant.

In China they didnt know what 'opinion' meant.

In the Middle East they didnt know what 'solution' meant.

In South America they didnt know what 'please' meant.

And in the USA they didnt know what 'rest of the world' meant
at least ppl in TSR know what "great joke" means
especially you vixen :rolleyes:
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Majmun
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#13
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(Original post by VixenIW)
The UN recently conducted a world wide survey. The only question asked was:

''Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?''

The survey was a huge failure.

In Africa they didnt know what 'food' meant.

In India they didnt know what 'honest' meant

In Europe they didnt know what 'shortage' meant.

In China they didnt know what 'opinion' meant.

In the Middle East they didnt know what 'solution' meant.

In South America they didnt know what 'please' meant.

And in the USA they didnt know what 'rest of the world' meant
LOL!! :rofl:
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glance
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#14
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#14
Q: Where does the little boy go on holiday?

A: He doesn't anymore. He's dead.
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Majmun
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(Original post by glance)
Q: Where does the little boy go on holiday?

A: He doesn't anymore. He's dead.
I dont know whether to laugh or cry
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riotgrrrl
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(Original post by glance)
Q: Where does the little boy go on holiday?

A: He doesn't anymore. He's dead.
ummm slowing backs away...
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Dickie
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#17
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(Original post by glance)
Q: Where does the little boy go on holiday?

A: He doesn't anymore. He's dead.
for some bizarre reason, i found that funny...

anyway...

A bunch of ugly people went on a coach holiday. They had a great time, but on the journey back, the coach veered off the road, and everyone on the coach was killed. When they got to heaven, God granted them all one wish. The first person thought a bit, and said "I want to be gorgeous", and God did his thing and it was so. God made his way down the line, all of them said they wanted to be gorgeous, and when he was about half way down, God heard the guy at the back of the line chuckling to himself. God carried on, the people carried on wishing to be gorgeous, and the guy at the back of the line carried on laughing, getting louder and louder, until God got to him. When God asked him to make a wish, he pointed to all the other, gorgeous, people, and said "make 'em all ugly again!"
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Sarky
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#18
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(Original post by Dickie)

A bunch of ugly people went on a coach holiday. They had a great time, but on the journey back, the coach veered off the road, and everyone on the coach was killed. When they got to heaven, God granted them all one wish. The first person thought a bit, and said "I want to be gorgeous", and God did his thing and it was so. God made his way down the line, all of them said they wanted to be gorgeous, and when he was about half way down, God heard the guy at the back of the line chuckling to himself. God carried on, the people carried on wishing to be gorgeous, and the guy at the back of the line carried on laughing, getting louder and louder, until God got to him. When God asked him to make a wish, he pointed to all the other, gorgeous, people, and said "make 'em all ugly again!"
LOLOL that was funny
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Majmun
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#19
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(Original post by Sarky)
LOLOL that was funny
Hehe, yeh...it made me chuckle. Come on, come on more jokes!!! Im enjoying this. I love a good joke :p:
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horrorboy
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#20
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(Original post by Majmun)
Hehe, yeh...it made me chuckle. Come on, come on more jokes!!! Im enjoying this. I love a good joke :p:
A guy walks into a bar with an octopus. He sits the octopus down on a stool and tells everyone in the bar that this is a very talented octopus. He can play any musical instrument in the world. He hears everyone in the crowd laughing at him, calling him an idiot, etc. So he says that he will wager $50 to anyone who has an instrument that the octopus can't play.

A guy walks up with a guitar and sets it beside the octopus. The octopus starts playing better than Jimi Hendrix, just rippin' it up. So the man pays his $50. Another guy walks up with a trumpet. The octopus plays the trumpet better than Dizzie Gillespie. So the man pays his $50. Then a Scotsman walks up with bagpipes. He sits them down and the octopus fumbles with it for a minute and sits it down with a confused look.

"Ha!" the Scot says. "Can't you play it?"

The octopus looks up at him and says, "Play it? I'm going to screw it as soon as I figure out how to get its pajamas off."
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