I recently moved into a houseshare with 5 other girls, I had known these girl for a few months prior and it was my understanding that at least 1 of the girls didn't know the others so I wouldn't be the only one who was sort of out of the group anyhow this was not the case. From day one I felt the sense of being left out and excluded. I have since really tried to be included, which is hard when plans are made without noone telling me and going places almost secretly.
I took over from a girl who backed out of the house from them very last minute, this should have been a little bit of a red flag, I know people who used to be friends with them until recently and have all said the same stuff, and have told me how sorry they feel that I have to live with them. Besides the uncomfortable feeling of being excluded I put it down to just getting used to each other as they most of them have known eachother for years and everyone was still moving in. I noticed small things to begin with including small silly digs about things that I won't go into detail about but I brushed it off.
However, one flatmate in particular has made my life a living hell - I have never felt so anxious in my life and feel like I'm constantly about to have a heartattack from the stress and anxiety. It begun when she started ignoring me, completely out of the blue, I'd say hi as we passed in the hallway and I'd get no reply. I thought maybe she didn't hear me, so I started saying it louder when I saw her and this is when it was confirmed that she was blantantly doing it on purpose. I began giving her the same treatment but noticed it proved more stressful for me. She is more than chatty and lovely to the other housemates. I had a friend over for a few drinks, who she knows, when I left the room she did not say a single word to him - but when the other housemate came in she was eagerly chatting to her, my friend told me this once we left which being honest made me feel a bit embarrassed about her rudeness.
The other day it just confirmed my thought of moving, I hear her come up the stairs so I step aside on the small landing at the top of the stairs, she walks straight past me into her room, doesn't even look at me - doesn't even acknowledge me, literally like I was air. I know the other housemates and her talk bad about me behind my back, made every clearly when I walk in the house and they all go silent and stare at me as I walk in. I have also been told through friends of friends they have heard them talking about me in the club. I have been looking for studios and other accommodations for about a month now as I know that even talking to her will make the situation worse.
They make comments walking past my door, they're very sly with the comments so not straight up directed at me otherwsie I would say something. I dread coming back to the house and will spend all day out to avoid them. I guess what this post is about is has anyone experienced this situation? I understand they need someone to bully as which has been made clear to me, they are also constantly badmouthing their mutual friends and other people and I believe this is why the girl I replaced for the room had experienced. I am going to move out and aim to move in January, I hope the landlord will give me a compassionate leave, however, at the moment I am struggling to find available accomodation, but I cannot stay here. I know I have not done anything to deserve this behaviour, I am clean, considerate, don't make loud noises or bad mouth anyone, I more than contribute to household supplies which makes this situation more confusing.
Thinking back before summer we were supposed to all meet to get to know each other which she made impossible to do and over summer when I messaged her she never replied, I met her once at a social event and she didn't really talk to me then and then when we first met she didn't talk to me the whole night. I have spoken to friends and family about this which they find very odd as they know my personality and I very very rarely clash with anyone, they have put it down to some sort of jealousy which I - not to sound self-centered - believe might be the case. Why is she acting like this just towards me?