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Was this an inappropriate question for the manager to ask me?

So the region manager came in today (my managers' manager) to have a chat with my manager about the store and it was my only my second week working here so I had never met him before. I was cleaning out the stands and he comes over has a conversation with me. He asks me how far I live from here and I say I live very closeby only 10 minute walk, then he asks me 'you have an accent where are you from' and I'm thinking in my head I already told you I live 10 minutes away. Then I ask him 'you mean my ethnic origins?' to which he nods yes. I said I'm iranian and then he says 'explains the eyes' as I have a unique green eye color.

Given the setting and context was this an inappropriate question to ask and the comment he made afterwards?

Reply 1

Original post
by Anonymous
So the region manager came in today (my managers' manager) to have a chat with my manager about the store and it was my only my second week working here so I had never met him before. I was cleaning out the stands and he comes over has a conversation with me. He asks me how far I live from here and I say I live very closeby only 10 minute walk, then he asks me 'you have an accent where are you from' and I'm thinking in my head I already told you I live 10 minutes away. Then I ask him 'you mean my ethnic origins?' to which he nods yes. I said I'm iranian and then he says 'explains the eyes' as I have a unique green eye color.
Given the setting and context was this an inappropriate question to ask and the comment he made afterwards?

I guess he just wanted to get to know you because you are a relatively new employee? He's probably talktive and being extra when he said 'explains the eyes'. As a girl I would've felt weirded out too, like ok?? why did you feel the need to say that? Just try to keep your distance with him, don't talk to him unless you need to. Hope this helps
(edited 1 year ago)

Reply 2

Original post
by Anonymous
So the region manager came in today (my managers' manager) to have a chat with my manager about the store and it was my only my second week working here so I had never met him before. I was cleaning out the stands and he comes over has a conversation with me. He asks me how far I live from here and I say I live very closeby only 10 minute walk, then he asks me 'you have an accent where are you from' and I'm thinking in my head I already told you I live 10 minutes away. Then I ask him 'you mean my ethnic origins?' to which he nods yes. I said I'm iranian and then he says 'explains the eyes' as I have a unique green eye color.
Given the setting and context was this an inappropriate question to ask and the comment he made afterwards?

I'm thinking the dude was just trying to build rapport with the subordinates by having a bit of a chit chat.
Was this inappropriate? Maybe so. Was his intentions bad? Maybe not. Was he too dense to realise his comment could be interpreted as inappropriate in a work setting? Definitely.
Forget it, move on, but keep an eye on this guy the next time he comes over.

Reply 3

Original post
by bztfad
I guess he just wanted to get to know you because you are a relatively new employee? He's probably talktive and being extra when he said 'explains the eyes'. As a girl I would've felt weirded out too, like ok?? why did you feel the need to say that? Just try to keep your distance with him, don't talk to him unless you need to. Hope this helps

alright thank you, I perceived it as kind of flirting esp with that comment hence why I was weirded out

Reply 4

It depends on his motivation really. If he was just trying to be friendly it’s one thing, if it was an attempt to be flirty it’s inappropriate due to the power imbalance and particularly when it’s unwelcome. As a one off I’d give it the benefit of the doubt

Reply 5

Original post
by Anonymous
So the region manager came in today (my managers' manager) to have a chat with my manager about the store and it was my only my second week working here so I had never met him before. I was cleaning out the stands and he comes over has a conversation with me. He asks me how far I live from here and I say I live very closeby only 10 minute walk, then he asks me 'you have an accent where are you from' and I'm thinking in my head I already told you I live 10 minutes away. Then I ask him 'you mean my ethnic origins?' to which he nods yes. I said I'm iranian and then he says 'explains the eyes' as I have a unique green eye color.
Given the setting and context was this an inappropriate question to ask and the comment he made afterwards?


Its either passive aggressive or he’s flirting my best advice is stay distance away from him.

Reply 6

Original post
by Zarek
It depends on his motivation really. If he was just trying to be friendly it’s one thing, if it was an attempt to be flirty it’s inappropriate due to the power imbalance and particularly when it’s unwelcome. As a one off I’d give it the benefit of the doubt

idk I just found it strange because of the position hes in asking about my ethnicity within 5 minutes of meeting me, I hate it when people ask 'where you from' after I've just said I am from around here just tell me with chest 'you clearly don't look british what's your ethnicity?'

Reply 7

Original post
by Catlover6752
Its either passive aggressive or he’s flirting my best advice is stay distance away from him.
alright, good to know I wasn't overreacting! ty

Reply 8

Original post
by Anonymous
idk I just found it strange because of the position hes in asking about my ethnicity within 5 minutes of meeting me, I hate it when people ask 'where you from' after I've just said I am from around here just tell me with chest 'you clearly don't look british what's your ethnicity?'
Commenting on accents can be suspect although not always. My Irish accent get picked up on fairly frequently and sometimes I find it friendly interest and other times there’s an aspect of irritating stereotyping around it

Reply 9

Original post
by Zarek
Commenting on accents can be suspect although not always. My Irish accent get picked up on fairly frequently and sometimes I find it friendly interest and other times there’s an aspect of irritating stereotyping around it

Yeah I mean in this case it was pretty obvious at least to me that he was using the accent to use mask the fact he wanted to know my ethnicity, trying to ask it in a ‘socially acceptable’ way

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