Why do people think it’s rude to ask where someone’s from?

5

I keep seeing people say this, like I don’t really get it. I’m mixed ethnicity myself and I love when someone asks me because it’s a nice ice breaker and I get to talk about my culture and vice versa. I’ve never assumed it stems from anything prejudice but more from a place of curiosity and learning about eachother just like asking what someone’s studying or doing for work or fav hobbies or whatever.

Reply 1

offshore-cauldro

15

I think if you’ve just met someone then it could feel like the first thing you noticed about them was their difference, skin colour, name etc.? Then again if you never ask fearing they’d be offended, you’ll be seen as rude later on when you don’t know where they’re from. So IDK.

Reply 2

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

22

For some people it's hard to answer. I'm as white as a sheet of paper so it's not about looking different for me, I just find it a difficult question. Not rude for me personally, just difficult to answer.
I have to ask for further clarification: "Are you asking about where I was born? Where I grew up? Or where I am currently living?"

Reply 3

Zarek

21

Some time it can have negative intent, implying that they don’t feel you belong where you are now. And sometimes it might just be too personal a question to someone you don’t know. But quite often it’s a friendly and fine talking point

Reply 4

StriderHort

21

Original post

by Zarek

Some time it can have negative intent, implying that they don’t feel you belong where you are now. And sometimes it might just be too personal a question to someone you don’t know. But quite often it’s a friendly and fine talking point

Exactly, the 'often' unspoken second part of "Where are you from?" is "..because you don't belong here"

Reply 5

username6990201

13

Original post

by RatRestaraunt

I keep seeing people say this, like I don’t really get it. I’m mixed ethnicity myself and I love when someone asks me because it’s a nice ice breaker and I get to talk about my culture and vice versa. I’ve never assumed it stems from anything prejudice but more from a place of curiosity and learning about eachother just like asking what someone’s studying or doing for work or fav hobbies or whatever.

It's normally a question without ill intent, but some people may interpret it differently.

For someone who is not white and was born and lives in the UK, to be asked "where are you from?" might be confusing because they are from the UK, but the question is a loaded question which carries the assumption that the person has come from somewhere else.

While the question is normally referring to ethnicity and family heritage, there might be less ambiguous ways of phrasing the question to avoid making people feel like you are telling them they aren't from the UK, even though they are. A more correct way to ask might be "what is your ethnic background".

The nuances are hard to pick out, so it's understandable that some people may not realise that they are asking the wrong question, so I don't think it's productive to be offended about it. But, yes, I do think there are better ways to ask that question.

Reply 6

black tea

19

It's not rude but can be uncomfortable - reminds you that you are an outsider and stick out like a sore thumb and that people will never see you as one of them

(edited 1 year ago)

Why do people think it’s rude to ask where someone’s from?

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Articles for you

How The Student Room is moderated