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Can't stand my politics obsessed family

Both my parents my brother and sister are politics obsessed. When Trump won they were in turmoil, it was like someone had died in the family. I'm not a fan but as long as it doesn't affect me much in the UK I don't care really. Even though my parents were both teachers and went to uni and we grew up in a nice house in nice area they are all on the extreme left. My sister has historic photos of workers outside mills and coalmines hanging up in her house and I would say she literally hates rich people and is basically a communist. My brother rants and raves about the tories constantly and how unfair life is and my parents are like my sister. In my last house share one girl was really pretty and from a nice part of London. When my parents came over my dad seemed jealous of me living with her to be honest which I found really pathetic. My mum made a comment about her being "very confident" as if that was a bad thing. I thought imagine what they would be like if I ever went out with a girl like that. I was brought up to be like them and I really hate their outlook to be honest, which I was infected with for years. I pretty much hate politics and to be honest I don't like the working class people they idolise either, I would literally never have photos of mills and coalmines in my room, I mean would you dare. Increasingly I can't stand being around them and I am dreading christmas to be honest with all their moaning groaning and negativity. Does anyone have any advice or come from a similar family.
Original post by Anonymous
Both my parents my brother and sister are politics obsessed. When Trump won they were in turmoil, it was like someone had died in the family. I'm not a fan but as long as it doesn't affect me much in the UK I don't care really. Even though my parents were both teachers and went to uni and we grew up in a nice house in nice area they are all on the extreme left. My sister has historic photos of workers outside mills and coalmines hanging up in her house and I would say she literally hates rich people and is basically a communist. My brother rants and raves about the tories constantly and how unfair life is and my parents are like my sister. In my last house share one girl was really pretty and from a nice part of London. When my parents came over my dad seemed jealous of me living with her to be honest which I found really pathetic. My mum made a comment about her being "very confident" as if that was a bad thing. I thought imagine what they would be like if I ever went out with a girl like that. I was brought up to be like them and I really hate their outlook to be honest, which I was infected with for years. I pretty much hate politics and to be honest I don't like the working class people they idolise either, I would literally never have photos of mills and coalmines in my room, I mean would you dare. Increasingly I can't stand being around them and I am dreading christmas to be honest with all their moaning groaning and negativity. Does anyone have any advice or come from a similar family.


Your sister sounds based, be more like her
Original post by Anonymous
Both my parents my brother and sister are politics obsessed. When Trump won they were in turmoil, it was like someone had died in the family. I'm not a fan but as long as it doesn't affect me much in the UK I don't care really. Even though my parents were both teachers and went to uni and we grew up in a nice house in nice area they are all on the extreme left. My sister has historic photos of workers outside mills and coalmines hanging up in her house and I would say she literally hates rich people and is basically a communist. My brother rants and raves about the tories constantly and how unfair life is and my parents are like my sister. In my last house share one girl was really pretty and from a nice part of London. When my parents came over my dad seemed jealous of me living with her to be honest which I found really pathetic. My mum made a comment about her being "very confident" as if that was a bad thing. I thought imagine what they would be like if I ever went out with a girl like that. I was brought up to be like them and I really hate their outlook to be honest, which I was infected with for years. I pretty much hate politics and to be honest I don't like the working class people they idolise either, I would literally never have photos of mills and coalmines in my room, I mean would you dare. Increasingly I can't stand being around them and I am dreading christmas to be honest with all their moaning groaning and negativity. Does anyone have any advice or come from a similar family.

This is a very common problem that people have and dread - especially at Christmas because you're staying there and have nowhere to go. So at least you can take solace in the fact that you're not the only one.

I have a family member who does this and these are some of the things I've said to try and diffuse a rapidly escalating conversation about politics. (and no they don't involve asking them to pull a cracker with you instead!)

Try and change the subject - "oh yes speaking of heated debates, anyone remember that board game battle we had last year?"

Honestly asking them anything about themselves can change the vibe and direct the conversation elsewhere. Asking what tv programmes they're watching, talking about something funny that's happened to you, asking if they've seen a relative recently or asking their advice for something. Even reminding them of past memories can lighten the mood.

"Who is up for a walk after dinner?" Sometimes distracting them with activities and getting out in the fresh air can distance you from the stagnant conversation at the dinner table.

Use humour - "is there a politics jar?! I'll throw a pound in if we switch topics." This is a way of highlighting how you're feeling without going too heavy into it. And might make them realise that they have been ranting for too long.

But hey if you want to be direct about it, you can. "I love that we’re passionate, but can we hit pause on politics and enjoy each others company? It's only Christmas once a year and I'm not home that often, so I want to have our time together without this topic dominating the conversation,"

Sometimes people don't realise how they're acting and that it's grating on you. So, it helps to be assertive with how you're feeling.

Hope this helps and just know that I feel your pain.

Samantha - USW Social Team
Original post by Anonymous
Both my parents my brother and sister are politics obsessed. When Trump won they were in turmoil, it was like someone had died in the family. I'm not a fan but as long as it doesn't affect me much in the UK I don't care really. Even though my parents were both teachers and went to uni and we grew up in a nice house in nice area they are all on the extreme left. My sister has historic photos of workers outside mills and coalmines hanging up in her house and I would say she literally hates rich people and is basically a communist. My brother rants and raves about the tories constantly and how unfair life is and my parents are like my sister. In my last house share one girl was really pretty and from a nice part of London. When my parents came over my dad seemed jealous of me living with her to be honest which I found really pathetic. My mum made a comment about her being "very confident" as if that was a bad thing. I thought imagine what they would be like if I ever went out with a girl like that. I was brought up to be like them and I really hate their outlook to be honest, which I was infected with for years. I pretty much hate politics and to be honest I don't like the working class people they idolise either, I would literally never have photos of mills and coalmines in my room, I mean would you dare. Increasingly I can't stand being around them and I am dreading christmas to be honest with all their moaning groaning and negativity. Does anyone have any advice or come from a similar family.

Openly come out as a reform UK supporter at the start of the meal, if not anything it will be an eventful christmas
Reply 4
Original post by Dylan_Ford
Openly come out as a reform UK supporter at the start of the meal, if not anything it will be an eventful christmas

tbh I'm apolitical, I'm just not interested in it at all really. I voted Labour but only because I thought it was time for a change and mostly because I am sick of cycling over potholes lol. Otherwise I'm simply not into it.
I *broadly* agree with you, extreme politics has a very unfortunate “hardening” effect, it seems to blind people to how beautiful this world is.

If I were a close friend who could talk to you plainly, I would warn you to guard against reacting into snobbery.

I would “dare” to have a portrait of a working class man at a colliery pit head on my wall, he was my great-grandfather and studied engineering through the Victorian-Edwardian working men’s schools despite leaving school at 12 when his mother was widowed. It’s natural to have pride in hard work, determination and grit.

Also, please don’t assume all working class people are/were Marxists. I hardly count anymore, both parents university educated, but nor will I ever be a gentleman (or try to pretend to be). I hope to be a good man.

You’ve accidentally (?) touched on why I dislike communism so much, opening up sharp wounds between classes and backgrounds. Self-improvement, hard work and gradual political reform are the traditional way in the parts of Scotland where I come from, the ideal of the “lad o’ pairts”.

I am sorry your friend/sweetheart was criticised by your family it was cruel and thoughtless on the face of the description here. I wish you both well.

That said, there will be good in your family, there’s good in most people and you must strive to see what is lovable.

The USW post is really brilliant. If you’re a Christian, Christmas is a feast of the love of God, if not, then Yule was a much older excuse to have a jolly binge in the midwinter. Make it your task to keep your family cheerful who knows, they may even be grateful.
(edited 2 months ago)

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