Struggling with friendships in sixth form
I started sixth form in September, but moved up from the same secondary school, and I feel like I have no friends - all my previous friends left to go to College.
I've tried my best at everything to make new friends, introduced myself to people, talked to anyone that looked approachable. I try to be an active listener, ask about themselves but no one ever bothers to approach me. I know multiple people in sixth form, but I don't feel they like me. Either I'm too boring for them in comparison to my other friends or they just don't bother talking to me - feels like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes.
It's really disheartening when I know I'm doing everything I can, and I'm still the one that has to approach people, start conversations, and introduce myself.
One of the girls I was kind of friends with in Secondary School comes across as having a hatred towards me, I have tried to have conversations with her and she blanks me to talk to someone else, I've even helped her when she joined 2 weeks into the school year (because of an operation) and I still feel like even though I have tried to be a kind person it seems I have done something wrong; I don't know if I'm doing anything wrong or if I have done something wrong?
The only reason I can think of is they think I'm too boring or I'm annoying?
When I knew that most of my close friends were going to college for their further studies, I started to engage with people that I knew were going to be attending sixth form - so I wouldn't run into the problem of feeling lonely 😭
I had started to talk to a girl in one of my lessons and am still talking to her in sixth form, however she has a friend group and I feel as if I cannot butt my way into joining this friend group but when pushed to the side I think they don't want to communicate with me.
I like to think that I engage with multiple people and am a friendly face, but the feeling of sitting on a table with people engaged in a conversation about their weekend activities with one another, I feel like I cannot force my way into that. Along with this, I have tried to start/get involved in conversations but sometimes there is no response leaving me to repeat myself multiple times (sometimes like talking to a brick wall) or just get a simple one word answer.
I have been reading other peoples' tips and have seen the suggestion on other rooms/areas in the school to go to. However, the study rooms are occupied by people who don't want to be in the common room (which is also busy), and the school library is occupied by all the younger years - leaving me with nowhere else to go.
Any tips?
I've tried my best at everything to make new friends, introduced myself to people, talked to anyone that looked approachable. I try to be an active listener, ask about themselves but no one ever bothers to approach me. I know multiple people in sixth form, but I don't feel they like me. Either I'm too boring for them in comparison to my other friends or they just don't bother talking to me - feels like I'm talking to a brick wall sometimes.
It's really disheartening when I know I'm doing everything I can, and I'm still the one that has to approach people, start conversations, and introduce myself.
One of the girls I was kind of friends with in Secondary School comes across as having a hatred towards me, I have tried to have conversations with her and she blanks me to talk to someone else, I've even helped her when she joined 2 weeks into the school year (because of an operation) and I still feel like even though I have tried to be a kind person it seems I have done something wrong; I don't know if I'm doing anything wrong or if I have done something wrong?
The only reason I can think of is they think I'm too boring or I'm annoying?
When I knew that most of my close friends were going to college for their further studies, I started to engage with people that I knew were going to be attending sixth form - so I wouldn't run into the problem of feeling lonely 😭
I had started to talk to a girl in one of my lessons and am still talking to her in sixth form, however she has a friend group and I feel as if I cannot butt my way into joining this friend group but when pushed to the side I think they don't want to communicate with me.
I like to think that I engage with multiple people and am a friendly face, but the feeling of sitting on a table with people engaged in a conversation about their weekend activities with one another, I feel like I cannot force my way into that. Along with this, I have tried to start/get involved in conversations but sometimes there is no response leaving me to repeat myself multiple times (sometimes like talking to a brick wall) or just get a simple one word answer.
I have been reading other peoples' tips and have seen the suggestion on other rooms/areas in the school to go to. However, the study rooms are occupied by people who don't want to be in the common room (which is also busy), and the school library is occupied by all the younger years - leaving me with nowhere else to go.
Any tips?
Reply 1
Hi there
Sorry to hear about your situation, I've just come out of the exact same situation and I really relate. My friends all went to college too and I felt silly for a while that I didn't see the loneliness coming, but I think firstly it's really important to recognise that it's not your fault. Sounds like you've really tried to engage with people, and the best thing you can do is just keep getting out there and celebrating the small wins. I ended up enjoying talking to my teachers in lessons more than trying to talk to other students 🤷
I guess if 16-18 isn't really your era then the best thing you can do is get the best grades you can by studying hard! That worked out well for me, I'm at a uni I'm really happy with now and doing a lot better. Keep trying and good luck!
Sorry to hear about your situation, I've just come out of the exact same situation and I really relate. My friends all went to college too and I felt silly for a while that I didn't see the loneliness coming, but I think firstly it's really important to recognise that it's not your fault. Sounds like you've really tried to engage with people, and the best thing you can do is just keep getting out there and celebrating the small wins. I ended up enjoying talking to my teachers in lessons more than trying to talk to other students 🤷
I guess if 16-18 isn't really your era then the best thing you can do is get the best grades you can by studying hard! That worked out well for me, I'm at a uni I'm really happy with now and doing a lot better. Keep trying and good luck!
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