I want to ghost him for a while and then talk in person
So I’ve been talking to my crush for 6months. We have nice connection, we flirt, we have interest in each other.. but he doesn’t try to ask me out or spend more time with me. First of all I travel a lot I come back to my hometown every 3-4 months. He is from my hometown, he studies here and lives. He is a good friend of my best friend. Obv my best friend tried to talk to him that he sees he likes me but doesn’t try to date me. So I found out he is scared I will leave again and long distance will be hard. He told him he likes me a lot and doesn’t want to lose me either. He told about me to his dad (wtf?) but he didn’t even care to take a risk and be with me. It makes me sad af I trusted in us so much. So it’s time to move on. Instead of daily texting I will just ghost him for a while or leave him on seen just to take a break from him, maybe he realizes something due to the silence, but anyway I will text him after a week or so, that I made some decisions in my life and it’s better to move on since our relationship/friendship is not moving anywhere. Some personal stuff happened. We can talk in person about it I can explain it but it will be better this way not to stay in touch anymore…. what do u think of this. I’m not 15 I don’t want to leave anybody on delivered without explanation. We’ve been talking for half a year, We actually met 4 years ago. He meant a lot to me so I want to do it this way. What do you think of it? How should I react to this situation? Is it a good idea?
I'll say it again: why don't you ask him out?
In this situation ghosting is rude and cowardly; you're saying he's scared, but you won't have a serious conversation about commitment?
In this situation ghosting is rude and cowardly; you're saying he's scared, but you won't have a serious conversation about commitment?
Original post by Surnia
I'll say it again: why don't you ask him out?
In this situation ghosting is rude and cowardly; you're saying he's scared, but you won't have a serious conversation about commitment?
In this situation ghosting is rude and cowardly; you're saying he's scared, but you won't have a serious conversation about commitment?
No, it’s too late. I got a great working opportunity and I had to choose. I chose carrier. We can’t be together anymore. I tried and I trusted in us but this behavior just humiliated me..
Original post by Anonymous
No, it’s too late. I got a great working opportunity and I had to choose. I chose carrier. We can’t be together anymore. I tried and I trusted in us but this behavior just humiliated me..
Why is his behaviour to you humiliating but not vice versa?
Original post by Anonymous
No, it’s too late. I got a great working opportunity and I had to choose. I chose carrier. We can’t be together anymore. I tried and I trusted in us but this behavior just humiliated me..
'Together anymore'? You weren't together in the first place because of being too proud to give someone else a bit of priority.
You can have a career and a relationship; lots of people do. Including the long-distance part.
(edited 1 month ago)
Original post by Admit-One
Why is his behaviour to you humiliating but not vice versa?
Because I suggested not directly but suggested meeting or seeing each other and so on.. and he didn’t take my hint. I am not chasing anybody
Original post by Surnia
'Together anymore'? You weren't together in the first place because of being too proud to give someone else a bit of priority.
But I as a woman I gave many hints and and signals that Hello I’m here I’m interested in you !! his job is to take all the signals and ask me out. Look.. I wanted to make it clear I like him so he doesn’t need to be scared of rejection from my side.. Obviously he didn’t care or he didn’t like me as much as I did
Original post by Anonymous
Because I suggested not directly but suggested meeting or seeing each other and so on.. and he didn’t take my hint. I am not chasing anybody
If you're bad at hinting and don't want to chase him, why are you asking on here what you should do, because you'll get different opinions than ghost done one?
Original post by Surnia
If you're bad at hinting and don't want to chase him, why are you asking on here what you should do, because you'll get different opinions than ghost done one?
what else are u suggesting? I will not ask him out. He doesn’t want to do long distance because he is scared of it. I don’t like this behavior, if he showed me yes I like you too despite your job let’s try it out. Ofc in that case I can manage my schedule and have both but since he is like a stone I can’t do anything. I’m sure a talk would show us our views. I actually do want to talk to him not just ghost. My plan is to take a break for a week and then text him hey We should talk. what do u think?
This all seems very silly tbh.
Original post by Anonymous
what else are u suggesting? I will not ask him out. He doesn’t want to do long distance because he is scared of it. I don’t like this behavior, if he showed me yes I like you too despite your job let’s try it out. Ofc in that case I can manage my schedule and have both but since he is like a stone I can’t do anything. I’m sure a talk would show us our views. I actually do want to talk to him not just ghost. My plan is to take a break for a week and then text him hey We should talk. what do u think?
Okay, so why play games? If you want to have a talk with him (which I think is a great idea) then why not just suggest that?
It's not like you guys are firmly attached or have made any commitment to each other. If you ghost him for a week he's completely within his rights to start talking to someone else. Then you suggest having a deep talk and he's just like "nah sorry I'm taken". And then you would be unhappy.
(edited 1 month ago)
Original post by Anonymous
what else are u suggesting? I will not ask him out. He doesn’t want to do long distance because he is scared of it. I don’t like this behavior, if he showed me yes I like you too despite your job let’s try it out. Ofc in that case I can manage my schedule and have both but since he is like a stone I can’t do anything. I’m sure a talk would show us our views. I actually do want to talk to him not just ghost. My plan is to take a break for a week and then text him hey We should talk. what do u think?
Testing isn't talking. Meet up and discuss things. If you can't do that before you next travel, phone him and say you'd like to see him when you get back, because you're having a lot of discussion for someone who wants to ghost a guy
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