The Student Room Group

Should i go to university?

Honestly I’m so stressed at the moment, university used to be so highly valued and praised, something so many people aimed for that now it’s so popular it’s getting shamed upon. I thought I’d spend my life working hard to get into university and have a great time, make my parents proud, make great friends etc. Now I have offers my family don’t even seem too impressed, everyone i know who is already at Uni is dropping out cos they hate it. Nobody actually enjoys it. It’s sooo expensive. People say it’s really lonely. I don’t know 100% what i want to do yet in life i just have ideas and my degree would help me in stepping stones for them but I still don’t know if it’s worth it because like i said im not 100% sure if job option post grad is for me. It’s just so stressful. I’ve applied to start for uni in 2025 but i might defer my entry if come next year on results day I’m still not feeling confident, is this possible. Any advice, has anyone actually got a positive experience of uni lol?
Reply 1
Original post by Anonymous
Honestly I’m so stressed at the moment, university used to be so highly valued and praised, something so many people aimed for that now it’s so popular it’s getting shamed upon. I thought I’d spend my life working hard to get into university and have a great time, make my parents proud, make great friends etc. Now I have offers my family don’t even seem too impressed, everyone i know who is already at Uni is dropping out cos they hate it. Nobody actually enjoys it. It’s sooo expensive. People say it’s really lonely. I don’t know 100% what i want to do yet in life i just have ideas and my degree would help me in stepping stones for them but I still don’t know if it’s worth it because like i said im not 100% sure if job option post grad is for me. It’s just so stressful. I’ve applied to start for uni in 2025 but i might defer my entry if come next year on results day I’m still not feeling confident, is this possible. Any advice, has anyone actually got a positive experience of uni lol?

Step back. Defer your offers and take a gap-year.
Get a job (any job) and earn some cash, then do some travel.
This will give you some time to do some calm thinking about what you want to do next, and why and this never a waste of time.

Gap Year & Adventure Travel Experts for 18-30's | Gap 360
Camp America® USA Summer Jobs in America Since 1969 | Camp America
Original post by Anonymous
Honestly I’m so stressed at the moment, university used to be so highly valued and praised, something so many people aimed for that now it’s so popular it’s getting shamed upon. I thought I’d spend my life working hard to get into university and have a great time, make my parents proud, make great friends etc. Now I have offers my family don’t even seem too impressed, everyone i know who is already at Uni is dropping out cos they hate it. Nobody actually enjoys it. It’s sooo expensive. People say it’s really lonely. I don’t know 100% what i want to do yet in life i just have ideas and my degree would help me in stepping stones for them but I still don’t know if it’s worth it because like i said im not 100% sure if job option post grad is for me. It’s just so stressful. I’ve applied to start for uni in 2025 but i might defer my entry if come next year on results day I’m still not feeling confident, is this possible. Any advice, has anyone actually got a positive experience of uni lol?

Uni used to be free, which is why everyone in your parent’s generation went. It is no longer the best option for everyone - and I would look into other pathways like degree apprenticeships.
Reply 3
Original post by McGinger
Step back. Defer your offers and take a gap-year.
Get a job (any job) and earn some cash, then do some travel.
This will give you some time to do some calm thinking about what you want to do next, and why and this never a waste of time.
Gap Year & Adventure Travel Experts for 18-30's | Gap 360
Camp America® USA Summer Jobs in America Since 1969 | Camp America


Do you know how i defer my offers?
Original post by Anonymous
Honestly I’m so stressed at the moment, university used to be so highly valued and praised, something so many people aimed for that now it’s so popular it’s getting shamed upon. I thought I’d spend my life working hard to get into university and have a great time, make my parents proud, make great friends etc. Now I have offers my family don’t even seem too impressed, everyone i know who is already at Uni is dropping out cos they hate it. Nobody actually enjoys it. It’s sooo expensive. People say it’s really lonely. I don’t know 100% what i want to do yet in life i just have ideas and my degree would help me in stepping stones for them but I still don’t know if it’s worth it because like i said im not 100% sure if job option post grad is for me. It’s just so stressful. I’ve applied to start for uni in 2025 but i might defer my entry if come next year on results day I’m still not feeling confident, is this possible. Any advice, has anyone actually got a positive experience of uni lol?

Hello! 🙂
Firstly, well done on your offers, you should be proud!
I'm sorry you are feeling this way, I remember I felt the same when I was in year 13. I'm currently in my second year at UEA and I'm glad I applied.
Applying to university is a big step, and it’s completely normal to have concerns about whether it's the right path for you. It can be scary to take that first step and go somewhere where you don't know the people, city etc...
Whilst university improves on your academic knowledge, it also enhances your personal growth and career opportunities.
I personally found university helped me develop my independence and time management the most. I also have met some of my closest friends through university.
May I ask what courses you've applied to and what kind of career you'd like to go into? I also want to highlight that your career can change and that's completely normal! Many people will do one degree and then go work in a different sector in the future.

Of course everyone is different and thrives in different environments so it's understandable to question whether university is the right place for you. Do what you believe is right for you and take it at your own pace, because ultimately it's your decision at the end of the day.

I hope this helps! I'm more than happy to answer any questions you may have either about university life or anything else! 🙂
Fatma
Natural Sciences student
Reply 5
I think I have a different experience to a lot of people i know. Many of my friends are like the people you mentioned - they hated it, it felt lonely etc.

That was my exact experience in my first year but since its been much better. However, i cannot stress this enough DO WHAT YOU WANT. University is 3 long years of independent study & coursework. if you do not have the motivation you will hate it. I would strongly suggest taking a gap year get a job.

I also think university is a good 'sandbox' time for many young people. Personally, if you threw me into the world of work at 18 i would have failed tremendously. Uni is a time for me to learn about myself and grow my self-confidence. Me now vs me then are two completely different people.

I would advise going to uni if:

a) you really like the subject - and to make sure you do plzzz do a lot of research (google the uni course, look at the lectures and read some of their work/published articles, and try contact some students ask for their perceptive and if possible some of their lecture slides)

b) You are not too confident in yourself/abilities and/or just need more general time to figure things out. I don't know why people think the moment you turn 18 you are a fully fledged member of society. Adulthood is a process and some people need a couple years to adjust.

c) Your desired career plan requires a degree

In terms of expensive/enjoyment/lonely. These are extremely situational and not everyone's the same.
Enjoyment/lonely is what you make of it. If you try to make friends you will not be lonely. If you stay in your room all day and not go lectures then you will. Same goes for enjoyment.

As far as expensive - they can only be fixed through preparation. Do a budget see how much money you get, see if bursaries are available for you, uni jobs at your uni. Up north tends to be cheaper, rural unis have cheaper rent etc... The only people i know who have struggled with money are those who had a lot and went crazy spending it all. and those who did not even think about it and thought they could deal with it without preparing

I would also like to point out doing a degree you hate/fail at is worse than doing no degree. SFE only funds 4 years. So imagine you do 2 years and realize you want to do a different degree or something.
Reply 6
Original post by Anonymous
Do you know how i defer my offers?

Email each of your Unis - you can do this even if you don't yet have an offer - and ask.
Its usually very straightforward, and they will then just change your year of entry to 2026 and send that info to UCAS.
Original post by Anonymous
Honestly I’m so stressed at the moment, university used to be so highly valued and praised, something so many people aimed for that now it’s so popular it’s getting shamed upon. I thought I’d spend my life working hard to get into university and have a great time, make my parents proud, make great friends etc. Now I have offers my family don’t even seem too impressed, everyone i know who is already at Uni is dropping out cos they hate it. Nobody actually enjoys it. It’s sooo expensive. People say it’s really lonely. I don’t know 100% what i want to do yet in life i just have ideas and my degree would help me in stepping stones for them but I still don’t know if it’s worth it because like i said im not 100% sure if job option post grad is for me. It’s just so stressful. I’ve applied to start for uni in 2025 but i might defer my entry if come next year on results day I’m still not feeling confident, is this possible. Any advice, has anyone actually got a positive experience of uni lol?

Hi,

I am currently a Masters student at University of Southampton, I also did my undergraduate degree at Southampton and really enjoyed myself. I understand the fears and worries you have and speaking to the universities you have offers from is a great way to find out if you can defer and for how long. I can only give you my experience but it has been the most beneficial thing for me, not only academically but social and professionally. I have gained so much confidence in myself and have really grown socially as a person due to new experiences and life skills you need and learn for university. Professionally I have been exposed to different aspects of my degree and the people i can engage with. I have been studying Archaeology as the core of my degree and University has presented me offers i would have struggled to find without it.
I think if I was feeling like you are maybe look for alternative forms of attaining your goals, through apprentices perhaps. It does depend on the subject you are wanting to study as some require a University course but you can always explore other options if you think that is right for you.
I hope this has helped give you a new perspective on University, in my experience the more you put into uni the more you get out.
Feel free to ask further questions
Thanks
Nikki
Palaeoanthropology (archaeology)
Original post by Anonymous
Do you know how i defer my offers?

huh
Original post by Anonymous
Honestly I’m so stressed at the moment, university used to be so highly valued and praised, something so many people aimed for that now it’s so popular it’s getting shamed upon. I thought I’d spend my life working hard to get into university and have a great time, make my parents proud, make great friends etc. Now I have offers my family don’t even seem too impressed, everyone i know who is already at Uni is dropping out cos they hate it. Nobody actually enjoys it. It’s sooo expensive. People say it’s really lonely. I don’t know 100% what i want to do yet in life i just have ideas and my degree would help me in stepping stones for them but I still don’t know if it’s worth it because like i said im not 100% sure if job option post grad is for me. It’s just so stressful. I’ve applied to start for uni in 2025 but i might defer my entry if come next year on results day I’m still not feeling confident, is this possible. Any advice, has anyone actually got a positive experience of uni lol?

Hi!
Well done on your offers! I'd say going to the offer holder days, and having a talk with the professors and teachers there with any concerns and what you will be learning from a different perspective, as this may help you make a decision as to whether or not you still want to go to university! And, fortunately you still have time to decide whether you go next year or the year after! For me being at university has allowed me to be more independent, meet new people from around the world and do a degree that I enjoy, the lecturers being very helpful and always available to go to if I am stuck on anything in class has also been really beneficial. There are many places to meet new people such as societies, lecturers and accommodation which has been great!

Hope this helps!

Kind regards,

-Wanita
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
Honestly I’m so stressed at the moment, university used to be so highly valued and praised, something so many people aimed for that now it’s so popular it’s getting shamed upon. I thought I’d spend my life working hard to get into university and have a great time, make my parents proud, make great friends etc. Now I have offers my family don’t even seem too impressed, everyone i know who is already at Uni is dropping out cos they hate it. Nobody actually enjoys it. It’s sooo expensive. People say it’s really lonely. I don’t know 100% what i want to do yet in life i just have ideas and my degree would help me in stepping stones for them but I still don’t know if it’s worth it because like i said im not 100% sure if job option post grad is for me. It’s just so stressful. I’ve applied to start for uni in 2025 but i might defer my entry if come next year on results day I’m still not feeling confident, is this possible. Any advice, has anyone actually got a positive experience of uni lol?

Currently in my first year and me and the people around me are generally really enjoying uni and it's been so much easier to make friends than I imagined. I think the reason we're all enjoying it is because we all want to be there. I would agree with everyone else that deferral may be your best choice to give you time to consider why you're considering uni. If you go just because you think that's what other people want you to do then you probably won't have a good time
Reply 11
Definitely worth it! Pursuing college may be challenging, but the rewards are immeasurable. You’ll gain new knowledge, develop important skills, and completely change your life’s trajectory. Plus, you’ll meet so many amazing people—some of whom might become lifelong friends or even future collaborators in your career. Yes, the workload can get intense at times, but that’s part of the growth process. And remember, you’re never alone in this journey. If things get overwhelming, you can always reach out to https://academized.com/research-paper-for-sale for assistance with those big assignments or research papers. Having support like that allows you to focus on the parts of college life that truly matter. Go for it—you won’t regret it!
(edited 1 month ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Honestly I’m so stressed at the moment, university used to be so highly valued and praised, something so many people aimed for that now it’s so popular it’s getting shamed upon. I thought I’d spend my life working hard to get into university and have a great time, make my parents proud, make great friends etc. Now I have offers my family don’t even seem too impressed, everyone i know who is already at Uni is dropping out cos they hate it. Nobody actually enjoys it. It’s sooo expensive. People say it’s really lonely. I don’t know 100% what i want to do yet in life i just have ideas and my degree would help me in stepping stones for them but I still don’t know if it’s worth it because like i said im not 100% sure if job option post grad is for me. It’s just so stressful. I’ve applied to start for uni in 2025 but i might defer my entry if come next year on results day I’m still not feeling confident, is this possible. Any advice, has anyone actually got a positive experience of uni lol?

Hi there,

It really depends on what you want to do after university whether it is worth you going or not! If you have a career in mind which you would need uni for, it's a great route to go down and will really help you. If not, then think about your other options too.

It's still really good that you have worked so hard to get into university and it is still a really great thing and achievement for you! you should be proud of yourself and whether you choose to go to uni or not, your family will be proud of you for doing so well.

There are other options to consider - you could look into a degree apprenticeship or getting a job instead of uni. They are good options to think about and I would encourage you to think about all of your options. Sometimes some universities have degree apprenticeship open days so have a look into these as this might give you some more insight into what you want to do.

You could also speak to the careers team at your school/college as they will be used to talking to people about this and will know how to help you and what to advise you to do!

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.
Original post by Anonymous
Honestly I’m so stressed at the moment, university used to be so highly valued and praised, something so many people aimed for that now it’s so popular it’s getting shamed upon. I thought I’d spend my life working hard to get into university and have a great time, make my parents proud, make great friends etc. Now I have offers my family don’t even seem too impressed, everyone i know who is already at Uni is dropping out cos they hate it. Nobody actually enjoys it. It’s sooo expensive. People say it’s really lonely. I don’t know 100% what i want to do yet in life i just have ideas and my degree would help me in stepping stones for them but I still don’t know if it’s worth it because like i said im not 100% sure if job option post grad is for me. It’s just so stressful. I’ve applied to start for uni in 2025 but i might defer my entry if come next year on results day I’m still not feeling confident, is this possible. Any advice, has anyone actually got a positive experience of uni lol?

Hi Anom,

I'm sorry to hear this is stressing you out! University experiences can largely differ from person to person. What you may find is those who really embraced the university experience have a much better time. This could be through engaging in events and joining societies.

I would recommend looking into your future careers goals. Does it require a degree? Will not having a degree prevent you advancing throughout your career? Alternatively your career goals might be better suited to an apprenticeship, college course, degree apprenticeship or more. It is entirely dependent on your career choice, what type of education you wish to follow and what your passionate about.

I wouldn't let others experiences put you off at all since there are so many course, campuses types and locations to pick from, it makes all experiences unique! Personally, I'm loving my experience so far as it's provided me with the opportunity to not only thrive within my subject, but make long-lasting friendships and find new hobbies!

I hope this helps, please feel free to ask me any questions,
-Sophia (Business and Management)

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