unhappy repetitive life centred around academic
Since GCSEs, I have been working non-stop, this is because I struggle a lot with my memory and some other issues. I am a high achiever despite this and feel very pressured to always do well. I am now at Cambridge doing Economics. When I say I have been studying non stop I really do mean it. I come home from school/uni do work till late and then sleep, and repeat this. I do not have time to take breaks or relax because I struggle a lot and am behind constantly even though I am trying very hard and working constantly. I was the same way during A levels and GCSES, although the work load was significantly less. I do not have a social life and I cannot think of a single normal teenage experience I have had. I have experienced a lot of family issues too and we have struggled financially so I have not been on holiday for 7 years. I feel like I am wasting my life. Anyways, I cant break out of this cycle because even if I try to study quickly, I have trouble. I see others managing to live a happy, worthwhile life whilst prospering in uni, but I cant seem to do this no matter what and it makes me very upset. I am constantly trying to break this pattern, but I just cant. I am really tired of my life and not sure what to do.
Remember, just because other people are doing hobbies/having holidays/going out with friends etc doesn’t mean they are not struggling sometimes too! Although it is true that these things usually help people to be happier or have a balanced life - for some it might add stress or disguise it.
You are feeling exhausted and like you are missing out, so perhaps you need to make time for something. Not lots, just something. An hour or two a week to participate in a club or society, or visit or phone a good friend etc. This short amount of time won’t negatively affect your studies.
How much longer will you be studying at Cambridge? Perhaps have a vague idea in your head about your next step. Give yourself a bit of time before jumping straight into your life plan. Maybe have the summer off in the year you graduate? Do a less ambitious, part time job (like retail or hospitality) for a couple of months to live life a bit more before pushing yourself into a full-on career. You only get one life so make sure you take some opportunities to enjoy it. You have done very well to achieve so much by working so hard but all parts of you need developing (personality, spirituality, mentality, social skills etc) not just academics.
You are feeling exhausted and like you are missing out, so perhaps you need to make time for something. Not lots, just something. An hour or two a week to participate in a club or society, or visit or phone a good friend etc. This short amount of time won’t negatively affect your studies.
How much longer will you be studying at Cambridge? Perhaps have a vague idea in your head about your next step. Give yourself a bit of time before jumping straight into your life plan. Maybe have the summer off in the year you graduate? Do a less ambitious, part time job (like retail or hospitality) for a couple of months to live life a bit more before pushing yourself into a full-on career. You only get one life so make sure you take some opportunities to enjoy it. You have done very well to achieve so much by working so hard but all parts of you need developing (personality, spirituality, mentality, social skills etc) not just academics.
I think plenty of people are at Cambridge and manage to maintain some semblance of (academic) work-life balance, likewise for GCSE and A-level, so I think this is probably more a personal issue for you than an academic issue per se.
You say you are always behind - what kind of results are you actually getting though? If you got into Cambridge presumably you got good grades at GCSE and A-level, and if you're not routinely getting 2:2 and 3rd grades in your uni work I'm not sure you actually are constantly behind - which might be more of a mindset issue you need to address. Because that will probably not go away when you graduate and get a job as you become a workaholic just focusing that same energy and mindset on your job rather than exams!
If you are routinely (I mean in every module except maybe one assignment here and there) getting 2:2 or 3rd class results (or failing things), and you don't like the work you are doing to try and get those anyway, this might be more a sign you're studying a subject you're just not as interested in or well suited to. In which case you might want to take stock of your position and options and plan how to move forward.
From what you've said it sounds more like the first situation (i.e. you have an overly perfectionistic mindset coupled with a degree of imposter syndrome where you feel the need to work relentlessly to get excellent results) than the second, as I suspect if you were repeatedly getting poor results or failing things you probably would've started with that in your post.
You say you are always behind - what kind of results are you actually getting though? If you got into Cambridge presumably you got good grades at GCSE and A-level, and if you're not routinely getting 2:2 and 3rd grades in your uni work I'm not sure you actually are constantly behind - which might be more of a mindset issue you need to address. Because that will probably not go away when you graduate and get a job as you become a workaholic just focusing that same energy and mindset on your job rather than exams!
If you are routinely (I mean in every module except maybe one assignment here and there) getting 2:2 or 3rd class results (or failing things), and you don't like the work you are doing to try and get those anyway, this might be more a sign you're studying a subject you're just not as interested in or well suited to. In which case you might want to take stock of your position and options and plan how to move forward.
From what you've said it sounds more like the first situation (i.e. you have an overly perfectionistic mindset coupled with a degree of imposter syndrome where you feel the need to work relentlessly to get excellent results) than the second, as I suspect if you were repeatedly getting poor results or failing things you probably would've started with that in your post.
Original post by Anonymous
Since GCSEs, I have been working non-stop, this is because I struggle a lot with my memory and some other issues. I am a high achiever despite this and feel very pressured to always do well. I am now at Cambridge doing Economics. When I say I have been studying non stop I really do mean it. I come home from school/uni do work till late and then sleep, and repeat this. I do not have time to take breaks or relax because I struggle a lot and am behind constantly even though I am trying very hard and working constantly. I was the same way during A levels and GCSES, although the work load was significantly less. I do not have a social life and I cannot think of a single normal teenage experience I have had. I have experienced a lot of family issues too and we have struggled financially so I have not been on holiday for 7 years. I feel like I am wasting my life. Anyways, I cant break out of this cycle because even if I try to study quickly, I have trouble. I see others managing to live a happy, worthwhile life whilst prospering in uni, but I cant seem to do this no matter what and it makes me very upset. I am constantly trying to break this pattern, but I just cant. I am really tired of my life and not sure what to do.
Hi,
I'm really sorry to hear you are feeling like this, especially considering I have experience with academic perfectionism myself and I understand how mentally draining and isolating it can be.
Academic perfectionism is a mindset and usually one that someone has had towards education from a young age. It's very hard to change your entire way of thinking but if you feel this may be applicable to you then I genuinely do recommend seeking support from uni services/ external professional help. It will really help you feel happier and put your studies into perspective. I am in my final year at University and I do honestly think that the pressure I have put on myself throughout high school and uni has resulted in me feeling very burnt out now. I think I didn't realise what a massive impact academic pressure was having on my mental health until it reached this most demanding year and while it once helped me to achieve my goals, it now hinders me from them.
I think the best way to avoid that happening would be to get into a healthier Uni routine now. If you feel studying a lot is necessary to achieve the grades you want then I would suggest creating an organised schedule for each week. You should include specific breaks for your meals, and a specific time that you will finish studying for the night. Unless you are working towards a close deadline then try to make sure that Uni isn't the last thing you do before going to sleep. You could set a short amount of time, even 20/30 mins in bed for reading a book or watching an episode of a TV show, (I do some colouring in because it relaxes me). I don't think I am fully resting if Uni is the last thing I am doing and therefore thinking about before I go to sleep.
Ultimately, your mental health will play a big role in how you cope with the workload further down the line so do make sure you schedule in a bit of time (even if it is short), for doing things you enjoy and that bring you peace. It sounds like you really care and are motivated to do your best which is amazing already, but your mental wellbeing is just as important for success so don't feel bad for taking a little bit of time for yourself when it gets overwhelming, trust me it couldn't be more essential and it will help you to have more mental clarity if you take breaks.
I really wish you all the best
(edited 3 months ago)
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