am i still fixated on him? Slow replies?

So i popped up to my ex nearly 2 months after no contact. I went no contact with him bc he was taking ever so long to reply and he’d been so busy and couldn't give me enough attention as he did before and we were arguing quite a bit. He does show some sort of interest, he had called me multiple times the day i popped back. I called him back and it was a relatively chill conversation. The next day however, he said morning and then the rest of the day, no response after i replied 2 hrs later bc i woke late. It feels like everything is back to the same cycle of him taking his time with his replies. I’m not at a point where i always check every single min to see if he texted back. But again why show me interest and then the next day, go radio silent? I get people get busy, but a single text doesn’t hurt right? Am I still attached to him? What should I do?

Reply 1

Surnia

20

Interesting how you are more concerned about lack of texting from your ex than the fact that there were arguments between you; the latter is a much more serious issue and you don't know whether that would be different or not a second time round as you didn't stay together to try and resolve it.

He's your ex for more than lack of communication, so best leave it alone and not revisit it.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Well, I'll be honest, he did cheat and I realised that after I had broke up with him. I still wanted to be with him, even though we broke. I stayed talking to him even though my trust for him was broken. I somehow broke his trust bc I spoke to his friend about what had happened. And he apparently couldn't regain that trust for me. We still carried on talking, I wanted to regain is trust. But he had very little communication with me, so it seemed a little one sided. I think I'm still stuck on him being tat amazing guy he was at first. I realised a few weeks ago that he did deactivate his socials, so I popped up to him after asking if he was doing okay after nearly 2 months of no contact. I did get one of our mutual to ask if he okay. but he didnt respond. He did respond to me however when I texted. He was replying relatively fast, hit me with a few calls and spoke, but it's been the next day and been left on delivered for a whole day. On call he did say he still had contact with his other ex, but it was not really anything. But she said she was visiting my ex's area and apparently her bf cheated on her.
I be thinking a bit. But not a lot. But I'm really confused. As of now I know complaining wont do anything, I complained a lot abt his long response timings. I'm not sure what's appropriate to do right now. Leave him on read when he replies? Act dry if he replies?

Reply 3

Surnia

20

Original post

by Anonymous

Well, I'll be honest, he did cheat and I realised that after I had broke up with him. I still wanted to be with him, even though we broke. I stayed talking to him even though my trust for him was broken. I somehow broke his trust bc I spoke to his friend about what had happened. And he apparently couldn't regain that trust for me. We still carried on talking, I wanted to regain is trust. But he had very little communication with me, so it seemed a little one sided. I think I'm still stuck on him being tat amazing guy he was at first. I realised a few weeks ago that he did deactivate his socials, so I popped up to him after asking if he was doing okay after nearly 2 months of no contact. I did get one of our mutual to ask if he okay. but he didnt respond. He did respond to me however when I texted. He was replying relatively fast, hit me with a few calls and spoke, but it's been the next day and been left on delivered for a whole day. On call he did say he still had contact with his other ex, but it was not really anything. But she said she was visiting my ex's area and apparently her bf cheated on her.
I be thinking a bit. But not a lot. But I'm really confused. As of now I know complaining wont do anything, I complained a lot abt his long response timings. I'm not sure what's appropriate to do right now. Leave him on read when he replies? Act dry if he replies?

He cheated on you, and tried to manipulate you by saying you broke his trust when you were trying to make sense of things by talking to his friend. He's certainly not an amazing guy!

Take the initiative; send one message to him saying there will be no more contact between you and block him on everything. You don't need him in your life, not when your whole way of thinking about him is messed up and you're stressing over a day without a text.

Reply 4

Luckylionxs

8

Original post

by Anonymous

So i popped up to my ex nearly 2 months after no contact. I went no contact with him bc he was taking ever so long to reply and he’d been so busy and couldn't give me enough attention as he did before and we were arguing quite a bit. He does show some sort of interest, he had called me multiple times the day i popped back. I called him back and it was a relatively chill conversation. The next day however, he said morning and then the rest of the day, no response after i replied 2 hrs later bc i woke late. It feels like everything is back to the same cycle of him taking his time with his replies. I’m not at a point where i always check every single min to see if he texted back. But again why show me interest and then the next day, go radio silent? I get people get busy, but a single text doesn’t hurt right? Am I still attached to him? What should I do?

To be honest , what your experiencing is the "Treat them mean keep them keen" obviously he is not that into you but it makes you want him.more because somewhere in your mind, you feel you are not good enough for him. If he was into you like crazy , you would have probably got bored with him. He could cheat on you a million times , actually tell you , I don't want you , but you will keep obsessing . It's not him, it's that he don't want you and you want him. If you loved yourself, you would have blacked him the moment he cheated on you . It won't get better , it will get worse , he knows he has you where he wants and the sad thing is you will reply to this defending him.. You said the word "attached " that is very worrying. Anyway good luck some people will always repeat history. Until you change something in yourself, you will keep meeting the same person reincarnated. I bet you don't give nice guys any time at all.

am i still fixated on him? Slow replies?

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