i think my old therapist made me worse and now i don't know what to think

basically, i was in therapy for a number of things- the biggest reason being my depression and (undiagnosed at the time) adhd, and some other things idk if i'm allowed to say on here. it takes me a while to open up to people about personal things, because my childhood was very turbulent and i spent a lot of my time supressing my emotions and living with the mindset that "expressing yourself = bad".
i told my therapist this (countless times) because i knew it would make it a bit difficult for me to just straight up talk about things with no prompt/questions from her. so at the beginning, it was okay- i would tell her about myself- tell her about my childhood and let out all my frustrations (bear in mind i had NEVER done this before) so this was like a period of time where she was just getting the background to what was actually going on in my life. after like 3 sessions i had told her practically all she needed to know, and she gave me her email (i didn't have it before because my dad is the one who was communicating w her on my behalf) and said that moving on whilst we worked on my trauma and issues, if there was anything i couldn't say out loud, or anything i needed to write down before the session just so we had something to talk about i could email it to her. so i was like, ok bet that sounds good to me.
however comma, the ship goes down from here. because i realised that she never ever took notes from what i said, she would constantly forget the things i said, and she would basically just not pay attention nor listen to ANYTHING i told her. i have really bad issues with validation and rejection dysphoria, so when i feel like someone isn't listening or doesn't care then i just shut down. i also get really bad selective mutism when it comes to talking about things that my brain perceives the response to be a threat (so i quite literally am paralysed and physically unable to open my mouth to speak because of the anxiety) and i just try my best to dissociate and not be present to avoid further anxiety associated with the guilt and embarrassment of not being able to say anything/speak.
she would constantly undermine the things i told her, and constantly generalise EVERYTHING. it didn't matter whether i said some of my most horrific intrusive thoughts (trust me they are BAD), she would say "well a lot of young people..." "it's really common for you young people..." "a lot of my other young clients..." she would never speak to me like i had any individuality- it was like i was just some other "younger person" in whatever stupid statistics she had made up in her head. she would compare my experiences with other clients and make me feel guilty for feeling what i felt. she acted like i was always overreacting, which just fuelled my self doubt and made me think that i indeed am the problem, and nobody can help me because i am incapable of being understood.
she would always be late to sessions, and she would always ignore the emails i sent her. when she did read the emails, she would only talk about certain parts and ignore the most IMPORTANT AND MOST DETRIMENTAL PARTS. it was so confusing. i always left feeling worse than i came, and i started just detaching from the sessions and not even participating. she never tried to work on any coping mechanisms or anything, she never asked me questions or gave me prompts to speak or reflect, she never acknowledged my issues or tried to be understanding, and she never once was able to realise that i was doing way worse whilst i was with her than how i was before. one week, i was in a really bad depressive episode, and she told me i looked off today and i said "i look like this every day" and this woman literally says "well you looked fine last week". bro. i said "well sometimes i have the energy to hide it, and last week was one of those days" and she was like "well why would you look fine if you weren't fine" and i was like haven't you heard of masking?? you're a THERAPIST FOR GOODNESS SAKE. i was so done with her- even one time i showed her my scars and she said "oh i wasn't expecting that" and i said what do you mean, and she was like "i thought they'd be small like cat scratches but they're a lot worse than i thought." who SAYS that. i was so confused, and i went home and cried myself to sleep because i genuinely came to the conclusion that i was incapable of being helped. she even asked me one time what i was doing there because "i look fine now" and i "don't have anxiety anymore" who told you that?? and when i was panicking about my exams, because my mh was bad and i was afraid i would do terrible she said "oh stop being dramatic you go to a grammar school you'll be fine" and just dismissed ALL my anxiety associated with academic pressure??