The Student Room Group

Am i crazy and an insecure gf? how to stop

I know i’m gonna sound mad but my bf told me he goes to a coffee shop all the time before he goes gym and he asked if it’s fine to accept free stuff. I was confused so i asked what he meant and he said these girls behind the till always give him his stuff for free. I asked why and he said he doesn’t know and he never chats to them just says please can i have and then thank you.. when he orders. I just got really annoyed and i find it hard to hide this and he knows now…
I sound so toxic and i know i just don’t understand why these girls having given him free stuff multiple times when they’re his age and he’s not even “chatting” or being friendly with them. he is really sociable and extroverted so maybe i am just insecure and untrusting right now.
Reply 1
Ah "the free stuff for the good looking person". Unfortunately I don't suffer from this but I wish I did!

Maybe you should go to the coffee shop with him and clearly indicate he's taken by ordering "I'll have a tea please and my boyfriend here will have a latte". That should stop him getting free stuff very quickly!
Original post by Anonymous
I know i’m gonna sound mad but my bf told me he goes to a coffee shop all the time before he goes gym and he asked if it’s fine to accept free stuff. I was confused so i asked what he meant and he said these girls behind the till always give him his stuff for free. I asked why and he said he doesn’t know and he never chats to them just says please can i have and then thank you.. when he orders. I just got really annoyed and i find it hard to hide this and he knows now…
I sound so toxic and i know i just don’t understand why these girls having given him free stuff multiple times when they’re his age and he’s not even “chatting” or being friendly with them. he is really sociable and extroverted so maybe i am just insecure and untrusting right now.

Make the girls behind the counter aware that your boyfriend is taken. Maybe speak to him face to face about it and even say how it makes you uncomfortable.
Reply 3
The best way to hold on to a desirable partner is to be totally non possessive. Just relax
Original post by Anonymous
I know i’m gonna sound mad but my bf told me he goes to a coffee shop all the time before he goes gym and he asked if it’s fine to accept free stuff. I was confused so i asked what he meant and he said these girls behind the till always give him his stuff for free. I asked why and he said he doesn’t know and he never chats to them just says please can i have and then thank you.. when he orders. I just got really annoyed and i find it hard to hide this and he knows now…
I sound so toxic and i know i just don’t understand why these girls having given him free stuff multiple times when they’re his age and he’s not even “chatting” or being friendly with them. he is really sociable and extroverted so maybe i am just insecure and untrusting right now.
trust your partner
be happy that hes getting free stuff without doing anything in return
maybe just casually join him to check out the scenario
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
I know i’m gonna sound mad but my bf told me he goes to a coffee shop all the time before he goes gym and he asked if it’s fine to accept free stuff. I was confused so i asked what he meant and he said these girls behind the till always give him his stuff for free. I asked why and he said he doesn’t know and he never chats to them just says please can i have and then thank you.. when he orders. I just got really annoyed and i find it hard to hide this and he knows now…
I sound so toxic and i know i just don’t understand why these girls having given him free stuff multiple times when they’re his age and he’s not even “chatting” or being friendly with them. he is really sociable and extroverted so maybe i am just insecure and untrusting right now.

In situations like these it's actually totally normal to feel a bit uneasy, and if you don't really know what's going on it's normal. Your boyfriend is probably being open with you about it, but it sounds like that’s good. Or don’t let it build up and just talk to him about those feelings being what they are, not letting it build up. It might be that if it’s really bothering you, you can even go with him one day to get a clearer picture. Any relationship is built around trust and if it's something small you can just let go of your worry.

Quick Reply