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perents forcing me to wear the hijab

I’m a Pakistani Muslim, but I was born in the UK. My parents are forcing me to wear the hijab next year. Even though my family is not religious, it’s not for religious purposes—it’s to control me. My mom is religious, but my dad is not. He has affairs, smokes, drinks, gambles, and does many haram things. Yet, he said that if I don’t wear it next year, he will beat me into wearing it. He has hit me before, so it definitely wasn’t a threat or a joke.
I admit that I’ve done non-religious things like dating, partying, smoking, and drinking, but my dad does the same. I’ve quit all of that, and now I don’t even have a phone or leave the house except to go to school. But even that’s not enough control for him.
Although I’ve improved, I’m not where they want me to be, and I’m scared. He said I had to wear it this year, but I managed to convince him to wait until next year. Still, I don’t think he’ll budge further than that. What’s worse is that he’s forcing my sisters too, even though they’ve done nothing wrong.
I feel unsafe around him because he keeps making life-threatening threats, hitting, and abusing me into fear so that I’ll wear it. To be honest, it’s just making me more and more scared and resentful toward Islam.
Please help. I really don’t know what to do. I reported him, but not much has been done. Please, I’m begging you—any advice, even just some support, will be much appreciated.
(edited 12 months ago)

Reply 1

Original post
by animazddhdnm
I’m a Pakistani Muslim, but I was born in the UK. My parents are forcing me to wear the hijab next year. Even though my family is not religious, it’s not for religious purposes—it’s to control me. My mom is religious, but my dad is not. He has affairs, smokes, drinks, gambles, and does many haram things. Yet, he said that if I don’t wear it next year, he will beat me into wearing it. He has hit me before, so it definitely wasn’t a threat or a joke.
I admit that I’ve done non-religious things like dating, partying, smoking, and drinking, but my dad does the same. I’ve quit all of that, and now I don’t even have a phone or leave the house except to go to school. But even that’s not enough control for him.
Although I’ve improved, I’m not where they want me to be, and I’m scared. He said I had to wear it this year, but I managed to convince him to wait until next year. Still, I don’t think he’ll budge further than that. What’s worse is that he’s forcing my sisters too, even though they’ve done nothing wrong.
I feel unsafe around him because he keeps making life-threatening threats, hitting, and abusing me into fear so that I’ll wear it. To be honest, it’s just making me more and more scared and resentful toward Islam.
Please help. I really don’t know what to do. I reported him, but not much has been done. Please, I’m begging you—any advice, even just some support, will be much appreciated.

You need to get out, speak to a trusted adult. If you feel your life is in danger you need to contact the police this is physical and emotional abuse.
How old are you?

Reply 3

Original post
by 04MR17
How old are you?

17

Reply 4

Your situation sounds really difficult, it's good that you are continuing to reach out for support. You mentioned that you don't have access to a phone and that you have reported him previously, but not much has happened. You can report directly online here: Report Domestic Abuse
I would also recommend speaking to the Designated Safeguarding Lead where you are studying and explaining the situation to them again. As you are still under 18, you can use this 1:1 online service to chat to a counsellor if you think it may be helpful: 1-2-1 counsellor chat
Here is also a link to Refuge that may be helpful for you: Refuge

Reply 5

Original post
by PileaP
Your situation sounds really difficult, it's good that you are continuing to reach out for support. You mentioned that you don't have access to a phone and that you have reported him previously, but not much has happened. You can report directly online here: Report Domestic Abuse
I would also recommend speaking to the Designated Safeguarding Lead where you are studying and explaining the situation to them again. As you are still under 18, you can use this 1:1 online service to chat to a counsellor if you think it may be helpful: 1-2-1 counsellor chat
Here is also a link to Refuge that may be helpful for you: Refuge

thank you

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