Trouble settling in at uni

hi everyone :smile:

I'm not sure if anyone will actually see this but I'll still give it a go.
I was wondering if anyone could maybe give me some advice on settling in at uni both in terms of the social side and work load from my course.
I've found after getting through the first semester of first year I'm not really where I thought I would be with my progression with new friendships and coursework.
I'm on an art based course, and i went straight to uni after finishing my a levels. after sixth form I felt extremely burnt out and I took the summer holiday to recover and even took a break from doing any art at all (I was so tired after finishing my a level graphic communications). i went into uni feeling refreshed and determined, however I found that pretty much straight away I began to feel burnt out again. throughout the semester my course has flown through 5 heavy projects alongside prep for an essay (in total im in about 16 hours a week). over the Christmas holiday I have to write said essay, complete another project and put together a portfolio of all my work completed so far for an assessment.
compared to my other friends from back home who are taking non-art courses, I have a decent amount more work. I was told by a lot of adults in my life that university was great and first year would be quite chill and relaxed, but I've found it to be the complete opposite. I feel like I'm barely able to keep up with the work while other people on my course are completing it to a much better quality and are even doing other artwork outside of the course. and everyone is so incredibly talented, sometimes I get really demotivated and feel like I don't belong there.
I also feel like I've not done particularly well with the social side of university either. I really struggled with social anxiety in the past and I spent all my school years being quiet and reserved, only talking to my close friends. I had people tell me that when I went to uni I could "reinvent" myself and be whoever I want to be, put up whatever front I wanted to. and I really tried that at first, I tried to be this funny, confident, unbothered person i always wanted to be in school, but I just couldn't keep it up. I felt like I wasn't being myself and I was really uncomfortable. so I decided to just be my true self, but I just I feel like I'm always awkward and I dont feel comfortable or settled down with anyone. like I get on with my flatmates and I have coursemates I talk to and see outside of class occasionally, but whenever I socialise I feel like there's this bubble/barrier around me, and I can't quite let my guard down and be myself because I'm so scared of people not liking me and finding me weird.
since coming home for the holidays I've talked to my friends from home, and a lot of them feel like they can be their true self more at uni. they are happy and have made some close friends there and have free time to read and watch tv and enjoy their life. whereas I'm either constantly doing working, forcing myself to socialise to strengthen bonds with people or doom scrolling on my phone because im exhausted.
I just can't tell if this is normal or at least if this is a normal experience for some people during their first semester, and if it gets better. is it a time management problem? Will I feel more close to people after coming back for the second semester? is there anything I can do to stop feeling so inferior to everyone on my course? I really don't want to consider dropping out as I just know I'd sit around at home doing nothing all day :/
any advice on any aspect of this post would be greatly appreciated :smile:

thank you so much!

Reply 1

BCU Student Rep

Official Rep

17

Original post by Anonymous

hi everyone :smile:

I'm not sure if anyone will actually see this but I'll still give it a go.
I was wondering if anyone could maybe give me some advice on settling in at uni both in terms of the social side and work load from my course.
I've found after getting through the first semester of first year I'm not really where I thought I would be with my progression with new friendships and coursework.
I'm on an art based course, and i went straight to uni after finishing my a levels. after sixth form I felt extremely burnt out and I took the summer holiday to recover and even took a break from doing any art at all (I was so tired after finishing my a level graphic communications). i went into uni feeling refreshed and determined, however I found that pretty much straight away I began to feel burnt out again. throughout the semester my course has flown through 5 heavy projects alongside prep for an essay (in total im in about 16 hours a week). over the Christmas holiday I have to write said essay, complete another project and put together a portfolio of all my work completed so far for an assessment.
compared to my other friends from back home who are taking non-art courses, I have a decent amount more work. I was told by a lot of adults in my life that university was great and first year would be quite chill and relaxed, but I've found it to be the complete opposite. I feel like I'm barely able to keep up with the work while other people on my course are completing it to a much better quality and are even doing other artwork outside of the course. and everyone is so incredibly talented, sometimes I get really demotivated and feel like I don't belong there.
I also feel like I've not done particularly well with the social side of university either. I really struggled with social anxiety in the past and I spent all my school years being quiet and reserved, only talking to my close friends. I had people tell me that when I went to uni I could "reinvent" myself and be whoever I want to be, put up whatever front I wanted to. and I really tried that at first, I tried to be this funny, confident, unbothered person i always wanted to be in school, but I just couldn't keep it up. I felt like I wasn't being myself and I was really uncomfortable. so I decided to just be my true self, but I just I feel like I'm always awkward and I dont feel comfortable or settled down with anyone. like I get on with my flatmates and I have coursemates I talk to and see outside of class occasionally, but whenever I socialise I feel like there's this bubble/barrier around me, and I can't quite let my guard down and be myself because I'm so scared of people not liking me and finding me weird.
since coming home for the holidays I've talked to my friends from home, and a lot of them feel like they can be their true self more at uni. they are happy and have made some close friends there and have free time to read and watch tv and enjoy their life. whereas I'm either constantly doing working, forcing myself to socialise to strengthen bonds with people or doom scrolling on my phone because im exhausted.
I just can't tell if this is normal or at least if this is a normal experience for some people during their first semester, and if it gets better. is it a time management problem? Will I feel more close to people after coming back for the second semester? is there anything I can do to stop feeling so inferior to everyone on my course? I really don't want to consider dropping out as I just know I'd sit around at home doing nothing all day :/
any advice on any aspect of this post would be greatly appreciated :smile:

thank you so much!

Hi there,

Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit low about uni at the moment.

I really resonate with your feelings about making friends at uni. When I first started I had pictured making loads of new friends and 'reinventing' myself for my fresh start. But I soon realised that this only made me uncomfortable and actually left me with fewer good friendships. I actually met some of my closest uni friends in my second semester as I had a new timetable and consequently met different students on campus. And these friendships are still going strong now I'm in my final year. So in terms of feeling down about making friends, try not to worry, as there might be some great people to come that you haven't met yet. You could also try some societies or socials at uni to try and branch out to more students across campus too.

I've also found it easier to make friends when I became more comfortable in spending time by myself. Give yourself the opportunity to do some things by yourself and feel happy in your own personality. I know the goal is to make friends, but I felt this became so much easier when I was okay with the idea of also having to spend time alone. I didn't feel as much pressure for each potential friendship to be perfect as I was satisfied with my own company, and then any subsequent friendships that I did form, were more natural and organic.

In terms of your uni work, I try my best to treat my course like a full time job. I study Fashion Design so I appreciate your art course and how heavy going it can be. I try to be in the studio Monday to Friday, roughly 9/10am - 5pm, and will allow myself the same breaks I would have in employment. It's not always possible to work to this structure every day, and I try to take the pressure off myself to not always work to such a schedule. But I do find treating my uni work like a paid job helps me get through my work better and means I can have some more free times on an evening and weekends. I also work a part time job on Saturdays and find I still have some time to rest too, but this routine has been developed over the last few years at uni, so try not to worry if you're not there just yet.

I think it's quite normal for a lot of students to feel a bit dissatisfied with where they're at with their uni life in first year as you've probably set so many expectations for yourself and you hear so much from others about their experiences - and comparison can really dampen your spirits. It's important to remember that you don't have to have a perfect life worked out by the end of semester one, and there are still great things to come in the new year. Try to take some pressure off from having everything figured out, and maybe reflect on what you'd like to work on when you head bac to uni in semester 2.

I saw you have some projects to work on over Christmas, and I'm sure you'll ace those! But remember to have a break from uni too. If you're feeling burnt out, it will be good to take some time away from your work so hopefully you can come back to uni with a refreshed mindset next year. I know from experience that an art related course can be quite draining as you're almost 'forcing' creativity for your coursework, so maybe also try to have some time to work on some non-uni related arty things to keep your passion for the subject going.

I hope you start to feel better about uni and where you're headed for semester 2. You've still got time and it sounds like you're working hard already, so you're already on the right track.

Be kind to yourself too. 🙂
Emily
Student Rep at BCU

Reply 2

LHU-Daisy

Official Rep

7

Original post by Anonymous

hi everyone :smile:

I'm not sure if anyone will actually see this but I'll still give it a go.
I was wondering if anyone could maybe give me some advice on settling in at uni both in terms of the social side and work load from my course.
I've found after getting through the first semester of first year I'm not really where I thought I would be with my progression with new friendships and coursework.
I'm on an art based course, and i went straight to uni after finishing my a levels. after sixth form I felt extremely burnt out and I took the summer holiday to recover and even took a break from doing any art at all (I was so tired after finishing my a level graphic communications). i went into uni feeling refreshed and determined, however I found that pretty much straight away I began to feel burnt out again. throughout the semester my course has flown through 5 heavy projects alongside prep for an essay (in total im in about 16 hours a week). over the Christmas holiday I have to write said essay, complete another project and put together a portfolio of all my work completed so far for an assessment.
compared to my other friends from back home who are taking non-art courses, I have a decent amount more work. I was told by a lot of adults in my life that university was great and first year would be quite chill and relaxed, but I've found it to be the complete opposite. I feel like I'm barely able to keep up with the work while other people on my course are completing it to a much better quality and are even doing other artwork outside of the course. and everyone is so incredibly talented, sometimes I get really demotivated and feel like I don't belong there.
I also feel like I've not done particularly well with the social side of university either. I really struggled with social anxiety in the past and I spent all my school years being quiet and reserved, only talking to my close friends. I had people tell me that when I went to uni I could "reinvent" myself and be whoever I want to be, put up whatever front I wanted to. and I really tried that at first, I tried to be this funny, confident, unbothered person i always wanted to be in school, but I just couldn't keep it up. I felt like I wasn't being myself and I was really uncomfortable. so I decided to just be my true self, but I just I feel like I'm always awkward and I dont feel comfortable or settled down with anyone. like I get on with my flatmates and I have coursemates I talk to and see outside of class occasionally, but whenever I socialise I feel like there's this bubble/barrier around me, and I can't quite let my guard down and be myself because I'm so scared of people not liking me and finding me weird.
since coming home for the holidays I've talked to my friends from home, and a lot of them feel like they can be their true self more at uni. they are happy and have made some close friends there and have free time to read and watch tv and enjoy their life. whereas I'm either constantly doing working, forcing myself to socialise to strengthen bonds with people or doom scrolling on my phone because im exhausted.
I just can't tell if this is normal or at least if this is a normal experience for some people during their first semester, and if it gets better. is it a time management problem? Will I feel more close to people after coming back for the second semester? is there anything I can do to stop feeling so inferior to everyone on my course? I really don't want to consider dropping out as I just know I'd sit around at home doing nothing all day :/
any advice on any aspect of this post would be greatly appreciated :smile:

thank you so much!

Hi there!

Sorry to hear you're feeling like this.

Starting with the social side of things. Please try not to worry or compare yourself to others. I was in a very similar situation to you. I had moved miles away from home got on with my flat mates but they weren't exactly 'my people'. There were a few people on my course who I kept in touch with outside of class and little by little the barrier came down, it just takes time especially when you are used to being quite quiet and reserved but it does get better. I also got a part time job at uni and joined a society so met so many more people- again it was incredibly daunting and scary to begin with but its something that I am so glad I did as it helped me feel better etc. Its hard and a bit slow but you will get there!

In terms of feeling burnt out. I would strongly recommend talking to your tutor or student support at uni. They may be able to give you advice on how to access extensions etc. I know when i first asked for an extension or needed a little more academic support I was really worried it would reflect badly on me and make it look like university is too much but it was the complete opposite. If anything they were really supportive and glad that I'd asked for help when I was struggling.
It may be worth seeing if you can sit down with someone at your university to see if they can help with a time management plan if it is something your concerned about.

I struggled in my first term but it did get better. Even if perhaps the person your closest to on your course you just start going on a small walk together.

I hope this is at least somewhat helpful. Good Luck with your second term!
Daisy- Graduate Advocate :smile:

Reply 3

University of Bath

Official Rep

13

Original post by Anonymous

hi everyone :smile:

I'm not sure if anyone will actually see this but I'll still give it a go.
I was wondering if anyone could maybe give me some advice on settling in at uni both in terms of the social side and work load from my course.
I've found after getting through the first semester of first year I'm not really where I thought I would be with my progression with new friendships and coursework.
I'm on an art based course, and i went straight to uni after finishing my a levels. after sixth form I felt extremely burnt out and I took the summer holiday to recover and even took a break from doing any art at all (I was so tired after finishing my a level graphic communications). i went into uni feeling refreshed and determined, however I found that pretty much straight away I began to feel burnt out again. throughout the semester my course has flown through 5 heavy projects alongside prep for an essay (in total im in about 16 hours a week). over the Christmas holiday I have to write said essay, complete another project and put together a portfolio of all my work completed so far for an assessment.
compared to my other friends from back home who are taking non-art courses, I have a decent amount more work. I was told by a lot of adults in my life that university was great and first year would be quite chill and relaxed, but I've found it to be the complete opposite. I feel like I'm barely able to keep up with the work while other people on my course are completing it to a much better quality and are even doing other artwork outside of the course. and everyone is so incredibly talented, sometimes I get really demotivated and feel like I don't belong there.
I also feel like I've not done particularly well with the social side of university either. I really struggled with social anxiety in the past and I spent all my school years being quiet and reserved, only talking to my close friends. I had people tell me that when I went to uni I could "reinvent" myself and be whoever I want to be, put up whatever front I wanted to. and I really tried that at first, I tried to be this funny, confident, unbothered person i always wanted to be in school, but I just couldn't keep it up. I felt like I wasn't being myself and I was really uncomfortable. so I decided to just be my true self, but I just I feel like I'm always awkward and I dont feel comfortable or settled down with anyone. like I get on with my flatmates and I have coursemates I talk to and see outside of class occasionally, but whenever I socialise I feel like there's this bubble/barrier around me, and I can't quite let my guard down and be myself because I'm so scared of people not liking me and finding me weird.
since coming home for the holidays I've talked to my friends from home, and a lot of them feel like they can be their true self more at uni. they are happy and have made some close friends there and have free time to read and watch tv and enjoy their life. whereas I'm either constantly doing working, forcing myself to socialise to strengthen bonds with people or doom scrolling on my phone because im exhausted.
I just can't tell if this is normal or at least if this is a normal experience for some people during their first semester, and if it gets better. is it a time management problem? Will I feel more close to people after coming back for the second semester? is there anything I can do to stop feeling so inferior to everyone on my course? I really don't want to consider dropping out as I just know I'd sit around at home doing nothing all day :/
any advice on any aspect of this post would be greatly appreciated :smile:

thank you so much!

Hi there,

I'm really sorry to hear you're feeling low at the moment, but please rest assured that nothing you are experiencing is abnormal and there will be hundreds of students with similar feelings after the first semester.

Emily and Daisy have already given you some really good advice, but I just wanted to chime in to reassure you that...

1.

You absolutely deserve to be on your course. It doesn't matter about how good you think others are, you were all selected for your individual talents and you would not be there if you were not good enough!

2.

There will be opportunities throughout your degree to meet new people - I met some of my good friends in my first year by working part time as a student ambassador (a lot of fun, good money and a fun network of other students), and in my second year through the Coffee Society. Would part time work or a society interest you? It could also be a good way to make sure you take a break from work.

3.

You should not try to change your personality on account of other people. People will like you for you, it might just take a bit more time to find your real friends. But as long as you keep putting yourself out there and making an effort, you will have lots of chances to meet people.

4.

You are clearly someone who cares about working hard, doing well and their art, which shows from how you are feeling. Have you tried talking to your personal tutor about your feeling burnt out? Perhaps they can suggest ways you can manage your work to make sure you are getting enough time to recharge whilst getting everything done.

I hope this helps - please give yourself some credit for how far you've come and what you are achieving and make sure to take some time to relax and recharge over the winter break.

Wishing you the best!

Holly
University of Bath

Reply 4

UniofLaw Student

Official Rep

10

Original post by Anonymous

hi everyone :smile:

I'm not sure if anyone will actually see this but I'll still give it a go.
I was wondering if anyone could maybe give me some advice on settling in at uni both in terms of the social side and work load from my course.
I've found after getting through the first semester of first year I'm not really where I thought I would be with my progression with new friendships and coursework.
I'm on an art based course, and i went straight to uni after finishing my a levels. after sixth form I felt extremely burnt out and I took the summer holiday to recover and even took a break from doing any art at all (I was so tired after finishing my a level graphic communications). i went into uni feeling refreshed and determined, however I found that pretty much straight away I began to feel burnt out again. throughout the semester my course has flown through 5 heavy projects alongside prep for an essay (in total im in about 16 hours a week). over the Christmas holiday I have to write said essay, complete another project and put together a portfolio of all my work completed so far for an assessment.
compared to my other friends from back home who are taking non-art courses, I have a decent amount more work. I was told by a lot of adults in my life that university was great and first year would be quite chill and relaxed, but I've found it to be the complete opposite. I feel like I'm barely able to keep up with the work while other people on my course are completing it to a much better quality and are even doing other artwork outside of the course. and everyone is so incredibly talented, sometimes I get really demotivated and feel like I don't belong there.
I also feel like I've not done particularly well with the social side of university either. I really struggled with social anxiety in the past and I spent all my school years being quiet and reserved, only talking to my close friends. I had people tell me that when I went to uni I could "reinvent" myself and be whoever I want to be, put up whatever front I wanted to. and I really tried that at first, I tried to be this funny, confident, unbothered person i always wanted to be in school, but I just couldn't keep it up. I felt like I wasn't being myself and I was really uncomfortable. so I decided to just be my true self, but I just I feel like I'm always awkward and I dont feel comfortable or settled down with anyone. like I get on with my flatmates and I have coursemates I talk to and see outside of class occasionally, but whenever I socialise I feel like there's this bubble/barrier around me, and I can't quite let my guard down and be myself because I'm so scared of people not liking me and finding me weird.
since coming home for the holidays I've talked to my friends from home, and a lot of them feel like they can be their true self more at uni. they are happy and have made some close friends there and have free time to read and watch tv and enjoy their life. whereas I'm either constantly doing working, forcing myself to socialise to strengthen bonds with people or doom scrolling on my phone because im exhausted.
I just can't tell if this is normal or at least if this is a normal experience for some people during their first semester, and if it gets better. is it a time management problem? Will I feel more close to people after coming back for the second semester? is there anything I can do to stop feeling so inferior to everyone on my course? I really don't want to consider dropping out as I just know I'd sit around at home doing nothing all day :/
any advice on any aspect of this post would be greatly appreciated :smile:

thank you so much!

Hi there!

Thank you for sharing how you’re feeling, what you’re experiencing is definitely more common than you might think, especially in the first semester of uni when everything is still new and overwhelming. It’s great that you’ve reached out for advice, as this shows your determination to make things better for yourself.

In terms of the workload, art-based courses often have a heavier, more practical workload compared to some others, so it’s important not to compare yourself too much to friends on non-art courses. It sounds like you’re balancing a lot, so try breaking tasks into smaller, manageable steps and planning out your days to avoid burnout. Prioritise what’s due first and focus on progress rather than perfection—everyone’s journey is different, and you’re here to learn and grow, not to already have it all figured out!

When it comes to feeling inferior, remember that it’s natural to feel this way in a creative environment where talent is everywhere. But instead of comparing yourself, use it as inspiration and remind yourself that you deserve your spot on the course just as much as anyone else. You bring your own unique style and perspective, which is what makes your work valuable.

Socially, it’s really positive that you’re talking to flatmates and classmates and putting yourself out there. It’s okay if connections don’t feel deep yet—it takes time, and sometimes it can take longer to find your “people.” You’re already doing the right things by showing up and being yourself, and those bonds will naturally grow. If you’re struggling to connect, you could look for smaller, quieter events or interest-based groups where it’s easier to have one-on-one conversations.

Finally, remember to take care of yourself. It’s okay to rest without feeling guilty, and finding little moments to recharge—whether that’s through art, a walk, or something completely unrelated to uni, can make a big difference. Things often get better after the first semester as routines settle and you gain confidence in navigating uni life.

You’ve got this, and there’s support available if you need it, don’t hesitate to reach out to your tutors, well-being services, or student support teams if you’re struggling. Wishing you all the best for the second semester!

Reply 5

hallamstudents

Official Rep

18

Original post by Anonymous

hi everyone :smile:

I'm not sure if anyone will actually see this but I'll still give it a go.
I was wondering if anyone could maybe give me some advice on settling in at uni both in terms of the social side and work load from my course.
I've found after getting through the first semester of first year I'm not really where I thought I would be with my progression with new friendships and coursework.
I'm on an art based course, and i went straight to uni after finishing my a levels. after sixth form I felt extremely burnt out and I took the summer holiday to recover and even took a break from doing any art at all (I was so tired after finishing my a level graphic communications). i went into uni feeling refreshed and determined, however I found that pretty much straight away I began to feel burnt out again. throughout the semester my course has flown through 5 heavy projects alongside prep for an essay (in total im in about 16 hours a week). over the Christmas holiday I have to write said essay, complete another project and put together a portfolio of all my work completed so far for an assessment.
compared to my other friends from back home who are taking non-art courses, I have a decent amount more work. I was told by a lot of adults in my life that university was great and first year would be quite chill and relaxed, but I've found it to be the complete opposite. I feel like I'm barely able to keep up with the work while other people on my course are completing it to a much better quality and are even doing other artwork outside of the course. and everyone is so incredibly talented, sometimes I get really demotivated and feel like I don't belong there.
I also feel like I've not done particularly well with the social side of university either. I really struggled with social anxiety in the past and I spent all my school years being quiet and reserved, only talking to my close friends. I had people tell me that when I went to uni I could "reinvent" myself and be whoever I want to be, put up whatever front I wanted to. and I really tried that at first, I tried to be this funny, confident, unbothered person i always wanted to be in school, but I just couldn't keep it up. I felt like I wasn't being myself and I was really uncomfortable. so I decided to just be my true self, but I just I feel like I'm always awkward and I dont feel comfortable or settled down with anyone. like I get on with my flatmates and I have coursemates I talk to and see outside of class occasionally, but whenever I socialise I feel like there's this bubble/barrier around me, and I can't quite let my guard down and be myself because I'm so scared of people not liking me and finding me weird.
since coming home for the holidays I've talked to my friends from home, and a lot of them feel like they can be their true self more at uni. they are happy and have made some close friends there and have free time to read and watch tv and enjoy their life. whereas I'm either constantly doing working, forcing myself to socialise to strengthen bonds with people or doom scrolling on my phone because im exhausted.
I just can't tell if this is normal or at least if this is a normal experience for some people during their first semester, and if it gets better. is it a time management problem? Will I feel more close to people after coming back for the second semester? is there anything I can do to stop feeling so inferior to everyone on my course? I really don't want to consider dropping out as I just know I'd sit around at home doing nothing all day :/
any advice on any aspect of this post would be greatly appreciated :smile:

thank you so much!

Hi there,

I am sorry that you have been feeling this way at uni. It can be really hard adjusting and settling into uni as it is so different to anything you will have done before so don't worry that you are feeling this way. Lots of people feel like this and it does sometimes feel like there is a lot of pressure to have the best time ever at uni which is not always the case so I understand how you are feeling.

Firstly, in terms of making friends, I would say that if you haven't already, joining societies is a great way of meeting lots of new people and making friends. I am sure you will have heard of this already but have a look what your uni offers as there is likely to be something that you like the sound of and they are likely to be people who have something in common with you (whatever it is that you are doing in the society) so you may feel a bit more comfortable around them and feel like you can be yourself more.

I am sure that you are doing this, but make sure you are attending all of your classes too as you will often meet people here. Especially if you are doing group work or any kind of work in groups in class, you will end up talking to quite a lot of people so it is worth making sure that you are doing this and going to all of your lectures and seminars.

You could also have a look on social media and see if you meet anybody this way. Quite often there will be groups on social media, e.g. Facebook where lots of people from your uni will talk and sometimes make plans so it is worth looking here to see if you can meet anyone this way. This can sometimes feel less daunting than talking to people face to face too!

In terms of your workload, make sure you are talking to your tutors if you ever need help with your work as they are there to help you and will try and make sure you are doing as well as you can be. If you ever have a question, make sure you ask it as soon as possible so that they can help and you can keep up.

If you ever get any feedback on assignments, make sure you try and apply this to any work you do in the future. You could also ask your tutor to clarify anything you don't understand and they can try and help you out with this so that you are ready for assignments in the future.

If you have an academic advisor or personal tutor, make sure you talk to them too if you are ever struggling or feeling behind on your work as they are there to help and support you at uni and will want to talk to you.

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

Trouble settling in at uni

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