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Bf wants to have sex but I don’t want to

We’ve been in a relationship for a year and a bit but recently he keeps on bringing up how every relationship needs sex and we should too . In his viewpoint, it’s something that keeps the relationship alive apparently. We’re also both each others first bf/gf. The first time he brought it up I’ve told him it’s not something I’d do just yet I’m not ready and potentially I might want to wait until marriage. I’ve also mentioned that if it’s really important to him maybe this relationship isn’t for us but he denies it and says he still will love me anyways. The thing is I’m not sure how to feel about it with him bringing it up often afterwards and implying we should do it too since every couple does and it’s normal. I know it’s something every couple would probably want but honestly I just don’t want it .. not yet so I’m not sure how to go about this.
“I’ve explained how I feel about it and can’t see that changing tbh. You’ve brought it up a few times afterwards which is a bit upsetting. What do you want to do about it?”
To be glib, one of you wants a sexual relationship, the other doesn't.
Original post by StriderHort
To be glib, one of you wants a sexual relationship, the other doesn't.

I think that’s more accurate than glib :smile:
It seems like the two of you are not very compatible. There's nothing wrong with wanting sex, or with not being ready for it. But if you say you don't want it he should respect that. Ultimately this sounds like something you guys should probably part ways over, although there's no reason it needs to be an angry breakup.
Reply 5
Hmm 🤔 he loves you, but does want sex. Maybe not compatible if you don't want sex
Original post by Anonymous
We’ve been in a relationship for a year and a bit but recently he keeps on bringing up how every relationship needs sex and we should too . In his viewpoint, it’s something that keeps the relationship alive apparently. We’re also both each others first bf/gf. The first time he brought it up I’ve told him it’s not something I’d do just yet I’m not ready and potentially I might want to wait until marriage. I’ve also mentioned that if it’s really important to him maybe this relationship isn’t for us but he denies it and says he still will love me anyways. The thing is I’m not sure how to feel about it with him bringing it up often afterwards and implying we should do it too since every couple does and it’s normal. I know it’s something every couple would probably want but honestly I just don’t want it .. not yet so I’m not sure how to go about this.

I believe that in every healthy relationship, you must have the right to choose whether to have sex or not.
So in this situation, it is a coercive relationship. From my own perspective I think you guys are not compatible enough to understand each other.
No one wants to be in a relationship when they don't have the right to decide what they want. The best solution I can give is that you guys should have a heart-to-heart talk, but if he does not agree then break up.
Reply 7
Then don't it is your choice and he should respect that
Original post by Ducked
Then don't it is your choice and he should respect that

I don't think anyone is talking about him not respecting the choice (or as above, coercing them 🙄) its about whether they are compatible.

Tbh the topic of sex isn't just going to be raised once and never again, if someone says they aren't wanting to have a sexual relationship 'just yet' then they need to understand the question is going to come back up again. If they aren't willing to have a sexual relationship I think they need to be direct and probably go their separate ways to have their respective needs met.
In fact, in such a matter, when you are not yet ready for it, or simply do not want sex, he should understand this and accept it. It's okay when a girl is not ready to open up so quickly, I know what I'm talking about because I had a similar situation. But over time, everything happened and only because I was ready for it.

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