I feel angry all the time
Every single day is a battle for me to not loose my cool and I'm always loosing the war. I am a commuting student and have extra responsibilities as I care for a sister who has a mild form of special needs. She's very independent but doesn't understand finances, how to pay bills, how to cook and thats pretty much it. When you come across her, she will look "normal" to you. I do feel she was babied way too much, she had mental health struggles when she was younger (she's older than me). She doesn't work and refuses to get a job and doesn't support the household. I get angry every single day because I go to university, I come home, I go to work (zero hours contract) and I'm expected to do everything when it comes to my house.
After crying and opening up to a mate about my struggles, we've decided to look for a two-bedroom place together, no one else knows yet. I work so hard and yet I feel unappreciated. Every day my sister will make an uncessessary comment which makes me feel useless and I feel like she's doing it to antognise me. A recent comment she made which got me angry was "I guess I'll do it then as you never do anything around here", I told her calmly that I am the one who pays for a roof over her head, I pay for the food in her stomach, I pay for the electric so she can charge her phone, I pay for the gas so she can stay warm. I am the one that is constantly out the house trying to make ends meet. Every night I cover my face with my pillow and cry myself to sleep.
I'm parentless and I'm angry at the fact my mother left me in this situation. My mother also opened up accounts in my name, I didn't know until after her death. I went to financial aid, I only asked for £1,000.00 to go towards the debt, they reviewed and it gave me the full amount of my debts, not only the ones my mother caused me but the debts I had which totalled £15,000.00. I am now debt-free, I used to be angry about being in debt all the time, I'm now grateful for financial aid.
I'm angry with myself for not doing well in university when it took me a long time to get here. I am angry with my sister for using her children as a weapon, I understand with me being this angry I probably shouldn't be alone with them but it's the way she weaponises them, telling me I will never ever see you.
I'm angry with my current situation. I am also angry with the lack of support. I've been going to doctors seeking support for my anger and explaining. I think I have ADHD. Currently, ADHD referalls are closed and have been closed for a year in my local area, my doctor isn't referring me or letting me do "right to choose" even though I have lost my temper in front of her to try and get the help I need.
After crying and opening up to a mate about my struggles, we've decided to look for a two-bedroom place together, no one else knows yet. I work so hard and yet I feel unappreciated. Every day my sister will make an uncessessary comment which makes me feel useless and I feel like she's doing it to antognise me. A recent comment she made which got me angry was "I guess I'll do it then as you never do anything around here", I told her calmly that I am the one who pays for a roof over her head, I pay for the food in her stomach, I pay for the electric so she can charge her phone, I pay for the gas so she can stay warm. I am the one that is constantly out the house trying to make ends meet. Every night I cover my face with my pillow and cry myself to sleep.
I'm parentless and I'm angry at the fact my mother left me in this situation. My mother also opened up accounts in my name, I didn't know until after her death. I went to financial aid, I only asked for £1,000.00 to go towards the debt, they reviewed and it gave me the full amount of my debts, not only the ones my mother caused me but the debts I had which totalled £15,000.00. I am now debt-free, I used to be angry about being in debt all the time, I'm now grateful for financial aid.
I'm angry with myself for not doing well in university when it took me a long time to get here. I am angry with my sister for using her children as a weapon, I understand with me being this angry I probably shouldn't be alone with them but it's the way she weaponises them, telling me I will never ever see you.
I'm angry with my current situation. I am also angry with the lack of support. I've been going to doctors seeking support for my anger and explaining. I think I have ADHD. Currently, ADHD referalls are closed and have been closed for a year in my local area, my doctor isn't referring me or letting me do "right to choose" even though I have lost my temper in front of her to try and get the help I need.
Reply 1
If ADHD referrals are closed in your area and your doctor is denying you a referral (maybe because you don't have insurance or it could be they think you don't have adhd) you can ask for a second opinion. You could do what i did which was online assessments or research to help you understand your symptoms and get helpful suggestions from other people facing things like you are. I feel like therapy is a great option for you, talking with someone about how you feel can help so much. You're doing your best, I can understand that and I hope you do too, you're doing amazing seeing as you have so much to take care of. It's easier written down but you should talk it out with your sister, tell her how YOU feel or when she says something that hurts you. but obviously the most important thing is to take care of yourself, only do as much as you can do, don't try to accept extra responsibilities. Not sure how helpful this could be because you probably already explored options like the ones i've told you, but I just want you to know you're not alone
Reply 2
20
Does your university offer counselling? If it does you should go for it. They might offer you some help in anger management and may even refer you to ADHD diagnosis.
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