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grieving family

2 weeks ago we lost my grandad suddenly to cancer (only a week between diagnosis and passing). in that time, my grandmother moved into the guest room in the house. but recently, my mum has just seemed really angry with me all the time. she gets mad that im not coming out of my room, but then every time i do she gets angry that im not spending enough time with my grandmother, or am not helping around the house. tonight, while i was cooking dinner, she asked me why i wasnt coming out of room. when i said it was because i didnt really feel like talking to people right now, she responded that i need to improve my people skills if i want to be a lawyer (a dream of mine since i was 10). and then she got angry that i ‘seemed annoyed’. i have 3 siblings (boy also sixteen, girl nineteen and girl fourteen), but they dont seem to be getting anywhere as much anger. i understand that my mum is hurting, but she seems to have forgotten that i lost my grandad too. im sorry for ranting, but i just feel really angry and hopeless.
i don’t have much advice on this but i’m sending love to u anon!!! i hope things get better<3
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous
2 weeks ago we lost my grandad suddenly to cancer (only a week between diagnosis and passing). in that time, my grandmother moved into the guest room in the house. but recently, my mum has just seemed really angry with me all the time. she gets mad that im not coming out of my room, but then every time i do she gets angry that im not spending enough time with my grandmother, or am not helping around the house. tonight, while i was cooking dinner, she asked me why i wasnt coming out of room. when i said it was because i didnt really feel like talking to people right now, she responded that i need to improve my people skills if i want to be a lawyer (a dream of mine since i was 10). and then she got angry that i ‘seemed annoyed’. i have 3 siblings (boy also sixteen, girl nineteen and girl fourteen), but they dont seem to be getting anywhere as much anger. i understand that my mum is hurting, but she seems to have forgotten that i lost my grandad too. im sorry for ranting, but i just feel really angry and hopeless.

I'm so for the loss and for the circumstances of your Grandads death, I lost my beloved Grandma in 2023 and it still hurts. 2 weeks is still a short time. noone can ever understand the you feel about your loss as we are all different. after my loss I kept on looking at her photos, messages, gifts and all the advice she gave me (she used to look after us while Mum and Dad were at work), I still do from time to time but a lot less. I'm in a different situation to you, with my own children and family who needed me despite feeling the need to grieve, although I still sometimes feel I haven't grieved for her properly.

the only thing I will say is to talk to your Mum and let her know how you feel, and maybe she will come to understand and your loss too because you will need to support each to get over this loss.
(edited 2 months ago)

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