The Student Room Group

Girlfriend had another boy in her IG searches

So, I happened to see my gf had been searching up someone on Instagram. He has 2 accounts; both were on her search history. She claims she didn’t search for them and she doesn’t know how they got there. I did some googling and this has happened to people before according to Reddit, I know Instagram can be glitchy sometimes. She seemed pretty hurt that I was having trouble believing her, but I'm not sure if I do or not. I have said to her if she did actually do it I wouldn't be mad at her or anything, but she still insists it wasn't her.

There was no sign that she'd been messaging them or anything, so that's a big relief. Do I keep an eye on things and if it keeps happening then do something? Or do I push her more now?
Please don’t let her manipulate you into believing she didn’t search him…she did, she probably panicked and said she didn’t (for whatever reason) of course it doesn’t mean she’s doing anything but I’d wonder why she would lie about it…anyway I’d just say calmly but assured something like..I know you did search him, you’re ok with it as it seems innocent but would appreciate honesty from the beginning next time, perhaps just repeat that you’re ok with her searching people and there’s no need to lie about it

Coming from someone that’s been in this situation before that “I’m hurt that you don’t believe me” is a common deflection tactic to shift the almost “blame” onto you, takes the spotlight off what has happened and puts it onto you for not believing her
Reply 2
How do I resolve this? I just wanna know if she did and why. That's all.
Why does it matter if she was searching some random person? Why do you need a rationale for it? I think that's the question you need to be asking yourself.

There are plenty of perfectly innocuous reasons why someone would search up someone else on instagram and/or follow them or interact with your posts. Equally there is no reason a partner in a relationship needs to justify every activity they do for your peace of mind.

If you are unable to trust her in this case or are insecure enough that you can't accept such activity, then I think you need to look at your relationship and also how you approach relationships and consider if you are able to be in one right now.
She did no ****
Original post by Anonymous
So, I happened to see my gf had been searching up someone on Instagram. He has 2 accounts; both were on her search history. She claims she didn’t search for them and she doesn’t know how they got there. I did some googling and this has happened to people before according to Reddit, I know Instagram can be glitchy sometimes. She seemed pretty hurt that I was having trouble believing her, but I'm not sure if I do or not. I have said to her if she did actually do it I wouldn't be mad at her or anything, but she still insists it wasn't her.
There was no sign that she'd been messaging them or anything, so that's a big relief. Do I keep an eye on things and if it keeps happening then do something? Or do I push her more now?

It’s a tricky one because if you look at it in two ways even three: 1. She could have looked up both his accounts just so she can start to follow him. 2. It’s a way and an attempt of informal contact between the both first a follow and then it could be her way of talking to him. 3. The moment you knew and she knew she might have just covered her back to ease any doubts or suspicions hence she maybe saying what your saying. 4. The only logical way of getting there is her searching him up so clearly you’ve been lied to or contacts being synced between phone numbers so for all you know the boy maybe a contact on the phone and he may just come up as a suggested for her to click on his profile, search and come up under search results/history. Bro you have every right to feel whatever you feel but know your worth and don’t waste your time and space and energy on someone who won’t appreciate you is my best advice. Push her more whilst observing her move.
“I happen to see” is the bit I’m equally concerned about.
If you wouldn't be mad at her for searching on IG, why even raise the subject with her in the first place?
Reply 8
Original post by Mohammed_2000
It’s a tricky one because if you look at it in two ways even three: 1. She could have looked up both his accounts just so she can start to follow him. 2. It’s a way and an attempt of informal contact between the both first a follow and then it could be her way of talking to him. 3. The moment you knew and she knew she might have just covered her back to ease any doubts or suspicions hence she maybe saying what your saying. 4. The only logical way of getting there is her searching him up so clearly you’ve been lied to or contacts being synced between phone numbers so for all you know the boy maybe a contact on the phone and he may just come up as a suggested for her to click on his profile, search and come up under search results/history. Bro you have every right to feel whatever you feel but know your worth and don’t waste your time and space and energy on someone who won’t appreciate you is my best advice. Push her more whilst observing her move.

He is not in contacts. She has followed them since I met her and this is the first I’ve even seen of her even taking any interest in his profile. As I say her story isn’t totally implausible. Maybe she was just being nosey…
Reply 9
Original post by artful_lounger
Why does it matter if she was searching some random person? Why do you need a rationale for it? I think that's the question you need to be asking yourself.
There are plenty of perfectly innocuous reasons why someone would search up someone else on instagram and/or follow them or interact with your posts. Equally there is no reason a partner in a relationship needs to justify every activity they do for your peace of mind.
If you are unable to trust her in this case or are insecure enough that you can't accept such activity, then I think you need to look at your relationship and also how you approach relationships and consider if you are able to be in one right now.

If it’s so innocent why won’t she tell me?
Original post by artful_lounger
Why does it matter if she was searching some random person? Why do you need a rationale for it? I think that's the question you need to be asking yourself.
There are plenty of perfectly innocuous reasons why someone would search up someone else on instagram and/or follow them or interact with your posts. Equally there is no reason a partner in a relationship needs to justify every activity they do for your peace of mind.
If you are unable to trust her in this case or are insecure enough that you can't accept such activity, then I think you need to look at your relationship and also how you approach relationships and consider if you are able to be in one right now.

Literally
Original post by Anonymous
He is not in contacts. She has followed them since I met her and this is the first I’ve even seen of her even taking any interest in his profile. As I say her story isn’t totally implausible. Maybe she was just being nosey…

Why did you see that he was searched up though then? If you know she’s followed him since you met her what’s the problem here then?
Original post by Anonymous
If it’s so innocent why won’t she tell me?


Because she was uncomfortable you were prying in her online life and demanding answers to what she does in her spare time?
Original post by Mohammed_2000
Why did you see that he was searched up though then? If you know she’s followed him since you met her what’s the problem here then?

She was showing me something on her phone. That’s how I saw it.
It’s ovwr
Reply 15
Original post by artful_lounger
Why does it matter if she was searching some random person? Why do you need a rationale for it? I think that's the question you need to be asking yourself.
There are plenty of perfectly innocuous reasons why someone would search up someone else on instagram and/or follow them or interact with your posts. Equally there is no reason a partner in a relationship needs to justify every activity they do for your peace of mind.
If you are unable to trust her in this case or are insecure enough that you can't accept such activity, then I think you need to look at your relationship and also how you approach relationships and consider if you are able to be in one right now.

OP would not care about the search, he cared that she LIED about it
Original post by Anonymous
He is not in contacts. She has followed them since I met her and this is the first I’ve even seen of her even taking any interest in his profile. As I say her story isn’t totally implausible. Maybe she was just being nosey…

us girls are very nosey. if we see a profile we normaly search it up and have a little look about it. if we get caught snooping, we raise our gaurd, especialy if it is by someone we care about like a crush/lover/bestie. she was probably being nosey.

or maybe hacked. i was hacked once and searches went really wierd, like looking for billie eilish (why, just Why???) and some other celebs ive never heard of / do not like.
Original post by Anonymous
So, I happened to see my gf had been searching up someone on Instagram. He has 2 accounts; both were on her search history. She claims she didn’t search for them and she doesn’t know how they got there. I did some googling and this has happened to people before according to Reddit, I know Instagram can be glitchy sometimes. She seemed pretty hurt that I was having trouble believing her, but I'm not sure if I do or not. I have said to her if she did actually do it I wouldn't be mad at her or anything, but she still insists it wasn't her.
There was no sign that she'd been messaging them or anything, so that's a big relief. Do I keep an eye on things and if it keeps happening then do something? Or do I push her more now?

I was about to start this by saying that there’s nothing wrong with her searching, unless she messages the guy then no line is crossed.

With that being said she definitely lied about the search history and the deceit is an issue.
Original post by Anonymous
How do I resolve this? I just wanna know if she did and why. That's all.

Why do you care? It is her IG, her personal life. If you don't trust her, leave her, for the sake of both of you.

Sorry for being harsh but being jealous and controlling is ruining any relationship no matter if she cheated on you or not.

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