The Student Room Group

lonely and empty

I have nobody in my life to talk to. My parents are always working and are often too tired to spend time with me and when they do, I have too much work to do or am too tired myself. My sibling doesn't want to spend time with me. My friends are there but I can't really talk to them. My best friends whom I used to talk to about everything moved to college whilst I'm in 6th form. I have no family other than my parents and sister.
I want to make new friends and meet people through extracurriculars but just get overcome by anxiety so just don't go which I know isn't good enough. I just feel so worried I feel like everybody just hates me. Any time I try and spend time with myself I get bored and end up scrolling forever or watching a movie. Movies are my only company and they allow me to completely disconnect from everything for a while.
I try to fill my time with schoolwork but procrastinate as I see no purpose or no fulfilment in it.
I also try to be creative in my spare time but always feel like I'm doing it wrong and so feel despondent and abandon it. When I find something I mildly enjoy, people dismiss it and say that I'm not that kind of person. I used to be a musical person but every time I pick back up my instrument I feel like I'm not good enough at it like my old teacher said and i put the instrument back down.
Whenever I want to try something new, I never have enough energy to do it so I can't put my whole into it and become despondent.
I usually end up bedrotting the days away when I have the chance.
I just feel so alone and like nothing I say or do matters even in my own life and like I'm just existing and not living.
Any advice on anything would be greatly appreciated.
thanks for reading and all the love and luck for you and your life
Hey, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I can see you're feeling a lot of emotions right now so well done to you for letting it all out! First of all, I want to remind you that there are 8 billion people on this planet, and I can assure you at least one of them wants to talk to you! You'll always have this amazing community on TSR as well, don't forget! Could I ask why you don't feel comfortable talking with your friends? Or is there a way for you to keep in touch with your best friend who moved to college?
Nobody hates you, and if they seem like they do, you never wanted to talk to them anyway! Try out those extracurriculars and don't even worry about getting things wrong - you want to attract people who like you for who you are, so there's no point in pretending to be someone you aren't. Play your instrument! Who cares what that teacher said? You play music not because you want to be Beethoven but because you enjoy it and it gives you relief, and that's something that no one can tell you is wrong.
My advice for you now is to be kinder to yourself. You are an amazing person just the way you are, and I'm sure your family loves you very much. If you feel comfortable doing so, maybe let your parents know how you're feeling. They probably don't have control over the hours they work, and I bet they also feel like they want to spend more time with their children. If you don't want to do that, that's okay! Chat to some friends, or your best friend who's moved. You can even chat to people on here (but stay safe of course!). Join new clubs and do things you enjoy, but do them for yourself - not because you want to be seen a certain way - and you will attract the kind of friends you want and deserve.
Sending you lots of love!
Original post by Anonymous
Hey, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I can see you're feeling a lot of emotions right now so well done to you for letting it all out! First of all, I want to remind you that there are 8 billion people on this planet, and I can assure you at least one of them wants to talk to you! You'll always have this amazing community on TSR as well, don't forget! Could I ask why you don't feel comfortable talking with your friends? Or is there a way for you to keep in touch with your best friend who moved to college?
Nobody hates you, and if they seem like they do, you never wanted to talk to them anyway! Try out those extracurriculars and don't even worry about getting things wrong - you want to attract people who like you for who you are, so there's no point in pretending to be someone you aren't. Play your instrument! Who cares what that teacher said? You play music not because you want to be Beethoven but because you enjoy it and it gives you relief, and that's something that no one can tell you is wrong.
My advice for you now is to be kinder to yourself. You are an amazing person just the way you are, and I'm sure your family loves you very much. If you feel comfortable doing so, maybe let your parents know how you're feeling. They probably don't have control over the hours they work, and I bet they also feel like they want to spend more time with their children. If you don't want to do that, that's okay! Chat to some friends, or your best friend who's moved. You can even chat to people on here (but stay safe of course!). Join new clubs and do things you enjoy, but do them for yourself - not because you want to be seen a certain way - and you will attract the kind of friends you want and deserve.
Sending you lots of love!

thanks so much for your advice, it really helped ❤️
You probably just don’t know HOW MUCH people do but I get you. I feel and felt like this before but started to notice that people have different love languages and now I have a feel a little better. I still struggle with anxiety too so I get you and know that anxiety just makes everything more difficult. This feels like something I would write ngl. Are you still in education?
Duh sorry dumb question!! As you are still in education, things might feel limited. One thing I would do differently is enjoying my presence and find hobbies that I’m good at!! I think baking would help fulfill some of those feelings. It requires precision and science so you can’t go wrong with it unless you don’t use a scale. Share your baked goods with family and friends and you should begin to feel a little better as praise helps build confidence
Original post by Anonymous
Duh sorry dumb question!! As you are still in education, things might feel limited. One thing I would do differently is enjoying my presence and find hobbies that I’m good at!! I think baking would help fulfill some of those feelings. It requires precision and science so you can’t go wrong with it unless you don’t use a scale. Share your baked goods with family and friends and you should begin to feel a little better as praise helps build confidence

Hi, i have tried baking and cooking in general as a way to pass time but a lot of the time I feel worse as I keep messing it up. I follow things to the letter but they still aren't the way the recipe said they should be. Its mostly my own fault, like I forget to preheat the oven or just mixed the ingredients too much/little and my brownies become doorsteps. As a result, my family has been hesitant whenever I try to bake or cook things outside of that which is extremely simple. Especially my sister who just puts me down and makes me feel worse. My parents are the exact opposite with her and encourage her and she is actually talented when it comes to cooking and baking and whenever she shares things with others she receives endless praise. I just feel like I am always not good enough at whatever I do and when I find something I want to do, my parents are indifferent or not encouraging and that makes me feel inadequate and I end up dropping that thing as it brings forward the negative feelings.
If your anxiety is very bad, I would advise to see your GP.

Perhaps you can join clubs, societies, activities and make steps to befriend people while doing something you enjoy.
Original post by Shrek2onDVD
I have nobody in my life to talk to. My parents are always working and are often too tired to spend time with me and when they do, I have too much work to do or am too tired myself. My sibling doesn't want to spend time with me. My friends are there but I can't really talk to them. My best friends whom I used to talk to about everything moved to college whilst I'm in 6th form. I have no family other than my parents and sister.
I want to make new friends and meet people through extracurriculars but just get overcome by anxiety so just don't go which I know isn't good enough. I just feel so worried I feel like everybody just hates me. Any time I try and spend time with myself I get bored and end up scrolling forever or watching a movie. Movies are my only company and they allow me to completely disconnect from everything for a while.
I try to fill my time with schoolwork but procrastinate as I see no purpose or no fulfilment in it.
I also try to be creative in my spare time but always feel like I'm doing it wrong and so feel despondent and abandon it. When I find something I mildly enjoy, people dismiss it and say that I'm not that kind of person. I used to be a musical person but every time I pick back up my instrument I feel like I'm not good enough at it like my old teacher said and i put the instrument back down.
Whenever I want to try something new, I never have enough energy to do it so I can't put my whole into it and become despondent.
I usually end up bedrotting the days away when I have the chance.
I just feel so alone and like nothing I say or do matters even in my own life and like I'm just existing and not living.
Any advice on anything would be greatly appreciated.
thanks for reading and all the love and luck for you and your life
I'm really sorry you're feeling like this, and I can understand how overwhelming it must be to navigate these feelings. You're dealing with a lot, and it's okay to feel lost sometimes. It's tough when the people you want to be close to are distracted by their own lives or when you feel disconnected from those around you. It sounds like you're carrying a lot of weight, and it's really brave of you to acknowledge these feelings.
I want to reassure you that your worth is not determined by how much you accomplish, how well you play an instrument, or what others think of you. You are not just "existing"; you're someone who's trying, and that is meaningful in itself. It's okay to feel uncertain about your creative pursuits or your schoolwork, sometimes those feelings of doubt are part of the process, and it’s perfectly natural to face setbacks.
It might help to break things down into smaller, more manageable steps, especially when it comes to trying new activities or reconnecting with your musical side. You don’t have to put pressure on yourself to be perfect right away. For example, rather than focusing on making a perfect musical performance, just play for a few minutes. Let yourself enjoy the sound of it rather than worrying about how good you are. In terms of socialising, it’s okay to take small steps too. You don’t need to jump into big groups or even extracurriculars if that’s too much at the moment. Starting with something low pressure like a club or class where you can just observe might help ease that anxiety over time.
Finding balance in your life and in your social connections is hard, especially when you're managing a lot of pressure. Be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can, and even though it might not feel like it right now, that’s more than enough.
And know that you're not alone in feeling this way. There are people who understand even if they’re not right next to you at this very moment. Sometimes it takes time to find the right people to connect with, but you deserve those connections. Keep moving forward at your own pace. You matter, and your feelings are valid.
Sending you lots of understanding and care. Take it one step at a time, and know that there's always space to breathe, reflect, and start again whenever you're ready 🙂 🙂 🙂
Original post by Anonymous
I'm really sorry you're feeling like this, and I can understand how overwhelming it must be to navigate these feelings. You're dealing with a lot, and it's okay to feel lost sometimes. It's tough when the people you want to be close to are distracted by their own lives or when you feel disconnected from those around you. It sounds like you're carrying a lot of weight, and it's really brave of you to acknowledge these feelings.
I want to reassure you that your worth is not determined by how much you accomplish, how well you play an instrument, or what others think of you. You are not just "existing"; you're someone who's trying, and that is meaningful in itself. It's okay to feel uncertain about your creative pursuits or your schoolwork, sometimes those feelings of doubt are part of the process, and it’s perfectly natural to face setbacks.
It might help to break things down into smaller, more manageable steps, especially when it comes to trying new activities or reconnecting with your musical side. You don’t have to put pressure on yourself to be perfect right away. For example, rather than focusing on making a perfect musical performance, just play for a few minutes. Let yourself enjoy the sound of it rather than worrying about how good you are. In terms of socialising, it’s okay to take small steps too. You don’t need to jump into big groups or even extracurriculars if that’s too much at the moment. Starting with something low pressure like a club or class where you can just observe might help ease that anxiety over time.
Finding balance in your life and in your social connections is hard, especially when you're managing a lot of pressure. Be kind to yourself. You’re doing the best you can, and even though it might not feel like it right now, that’s more than enough.
And know that you're not alone in feeling this way. There are people who understand even if they’re not right next to you at this very moment. Sometimes it takes time to find the right people to connect with, but you deserve those connections. Keep moving forward at your own pace. You matter, and your feelings are valid.
Sending you lots of understanding and care. Take it one step at a time, and know that there's always space to breathe, reflect, and start again whenever you're ready 🙂 🙂 🙂

thanks so much. I think you're right when it comes to taking things in small steps. In most areas I've been expected by myself and others to make strides in my life and I've had a hard time grappling with what others expect and how I fall short of that almost all the time. But I think you're right in suggesting small steps. I will need to take things one step at a time and in my own time despite what others want
again thanks so much for the advice and merry christmas :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Duh sorry dumb question!! As you are still in education, things might feel limited. One thing I would do differently is enjoying my presence and find hobbies that I’m good at!! I think baking would help fulfill some of those feelings. It requires precision and science so you can’t go wrong with it unless you don’t use a scale. Share your baked goods with family and friends and you should begin to feel a little better as praise helps build confidence

I saw what you said about enjoying your presence, could you please tell me more? I feel I have that problem, just not wanting to be me, I don't feel present in life and I don't know how to be present. If you have advice I would be very thankful.
Original post by Anonymous
I saw what you said about enjoying your presence, could you please tell me more? I feel I have that problem, just not wanting to be me, I don't feel present in life and I don't know how to be present. If you have advice I would be very thankful.


Hey what I mean is enjoy being with yourself. Don’t spend it on your phone to distracted. Really do things that you know would bring you comfort or peace
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, i have tried baking and cooking in general as a way to pass time but a lot of the time I feel worse as I keep messing it up. I follow things to the letter but they still aren't the way the recipe said they should be. Its mostly my own fault, like I forget to preheat the oven or just mixed the ingredients too much/little and my brownies become doorsteps. As a result, my family has been hesitant whenever I try to bake or cook things outside of that which is extremely simple. Especially my sister who just puts me down and makes me feel worse. My parents are the exact opposite with her and encourage her and she is actually talented when it comes to cooking and baking and whenever she shares things with others she receives endless praise. I just feel like I am always not good enough at whatever I do and when I find something I want to do, my parents are indifferent or not encouraging and that makes me feel inadequate and I end up dropping that thing as it brings forward the negative feelings.


I get you. Sometimes I get this strong feeling of inadequacy in all aspects of my life and just never ever feel good enough. Our brain tends to focus on negative thoughts as a coping mechanism, helping to keep us safe by being alert to potential threats. When we try to think positively, it can feel uncomfortable or as though something is wrong, which is why we often default to negative thinking. It takes time and effort to change our habits and thoughts but we have to do it or else we’ll stay the same way. You need to find something you’re good at (which doesn’t come easy)

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