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What grade would this be for igcse english language transactional writing?

We are harming the planet we live on and need to do more to improve the situation.’
You have been asked to deliver a speech to your peers in which you explain your views on this statement.
Your speech may include:
what harm people might be causing to the planet
what is being done, or should be done, to improve the situation
any other points you wish to make.
Your response will be marked for the accurate and appropriate use of vocabulary, spelling, punctuation and grammar. Out of 45

My answer

Today, I am here to talk to you about a compelling issue—our role in the undeniable destruction of our planet. Do we realise that every plastic bag we use, every reusable bag we forget to take to the supermarket, every plastic straw we drink from in coffee shops, and every car we drive is contributing to the destruction of the planet we call home? These actions are pushing Earth to a breaking point.

Every year, greenhouse gases have increased by 20 percent in the UK. Why, you may ask? Because people like you and me are contributing to the destruction of our planet. Our planet was created by God billions of years ago. Billions of years ago, there were no cars. Billions of years ago, there were no plastic bags. Billions of years ago, there were no cars contributing to the terrifying tragedy of rising greenhouse gases. Billions of years ago, there was no mass deforestation in countries like Brazil. Billions of years ago, Earth was a beautiful sanctuary, not harmed by mankind. So, in the 21st century, what gives us the right to harm our planet—the beautiful gift God created?

Forests are disappearing at an alarming rate of 15% per year. Rising sea levels are destroying the habitats of animals in the Arctic. It is time for us to act and strive to step forward in the right direction.

Some efforts are being made, but they are not enough. Electric cars, congestion charges, and recycling programs are all steps pointing us in the right direction. But more has to be done. Our planet is our home, and our home is being destroyed. Take a minute to imagine how life will be for our future children—the future generations. Surely we do not want them to live on a planet of devastating disaster and destruction—rising sea levels, cities underwater, unbearably high temperatures.

We must act. We must do more. We must change. We must save our planet. Governments must reduce carbon emissions and adopt stricter policies. Businesses must adopt sustainable practices. Supermarkets should provide free reusable bags. Even individuals like you and me must strive to do more. We have a huge role to play. Simple actions like recycling, using paper straws, and supporting eco-friendly brands can make a huge difference.

But why should we care? The planet does not belong to us; it belongs to God. We must protect our planet for future generations. Every tree we cut down, every plastic bag we use—we are causing the destruction of our planet. By harming our planet, we are jeopardising our survival.

I leave you all with a simple, urgent plea: start small. Turn off lights when not in use. Recycle. Plant trees. Let us all save our planet. Let us all be the generation that saves our planet and does not destroy it.

Thank you.
Hi! I would probably give this 40 or 41 out of 45. It's really good and you clearly know how to use persuasive techniques well. You could try adding in some longer sentences- the length here seems to vary between medium and short- your short sentences are impactful but it can feel a little stilted without any longer sentences. Also try to include some quotes/studies from experts (fake ones, obviously). You are allowed to make things up! Your percentage increase statistics are a good start, but you can strengthen this with an extra little 'A study by Doctor Paul Brown from York University into the makeup of the UK's atmosphere shows that...' or just little extra details like that to up the realism. Otherwise, good use of anaphora (although using a lot can make it less effective, which your piece could be suffering from), punctuation and rhetorical questions, and generally a pretty fluent and well written piece. Well done!
Original post by princesschip
Hi! I would probably give this 40 or 41 out of 45. It's really good and you clearly know how to use persuasive techniques well. You could try adding in some longer sentences- the length here seems to vary between medium and short- your short sentences are impactful but it can feel a little stilted without any longer sentences. Also try to include some quotes/studies from experts (fake ones, obviously). You are allowed to make things up! Your percentage increase statistics are a good start, but you can strengthen this with an extra little 'A study by Doctor Paul Brown from York University into the makeup of the UK's atmosphere shows that...' or just little extra details like that to up the realism. Otherwise, good use of anaphora (although using a lot can make it less effective, which your piece could be suffering from), punctuation and rhetorical questions, and generally a pretty fluent and well written piece. Well done!

would this be an 8 or a 9?
Original post by Hellopeople!
would this be an 8 or a 9?

Only your teacher can mark this accurately.

I doubt your data too where is the proof that UK greenhouse gases are up 20% each year? They've actually decreased!
Original post by Muttley79
Only your teacher can mark this accurately.
I doubt your data too where is the proof that UK greenhouse gases are up 20% each year? They've actually decreased!

its fake data! even mr salles and other yotubers mention to use culture capital and fake quotes - how am I gonna know the data in the exam its a random question!
Original post by Hellopeople!
its fake data! even mr salles and other yotubers mention to use culture capital and fake quotes - how am I gonna know the data in the exam its a random question!

Yes but you should know it's decreased so you would be marked down!
Original post by Muttley79
Yes but you should know it's decreased so you would be marked down!

I won't be its fake of course! it does not matter
Original post by Muttley79
Yes but you should know it's decreased so you would be marked down!

hi excuse me im only looking for what grade u think it is nothing else
Original post by Hellopeople!
hi excuse me im only looking for what grade u think it is nothing else
Only a qualified teacher can tell you! No-one on here is that ...
Original post by Hellopeople!
hi excuse me im only looking for what grade u think it is nothing else

The transactional writing isn't graded on its own it's part of the whole paper so it'll always depend on how you do in the non fiction :smile:
Original post by princesschip
The transactional writing isn't graded on its own it's part of the whole paper so it'll always depend on how you do in the non fiction :smile:

ik im just asking what grade will it be and mark out of 45
Original post by Hellopeople!
We are harming the planet we live on and need to do more to improve the situation.’
You have been asked to deliver a speech to your peers in which you explain your views on this statement.
Your speech may include:
what harm people might be causing to the planet
what is being done, or should be done, to improve the situation
any other points you wish to make.
Your response will be marked for the accurate and appropriate use of vocabulary, spelling, punctuation and grammar. Out of 45
My answer
Today, I am here to talk to you about a compelling issue—our role in the undeniable destruction of our planet. Do we realise that every plastic bag we use, every reusable bag we forget to take to the supermarket, every plastic straw we drink from in coffee shops, and every car we drive is contributing to the destruction of the planet we call home? These actions are pushing Earth to a breaking point.
Every year, greenhouse gases have increased by 20 percent in the UK. Why, you may ask? Because people like you and me are contributing to the destruction of our planet. Our planet was created by God billions of years ago. Billions of years ago, there were no cars. Billions of years ago, there were no plastic bags. Billions of years ago, there were no cars contributing to the terrifying tragedy of rising greenhouse gases. Billions of years ago, there was no mass deforestation in countries like Brazil. Billions of years ago, Earth was a beautiful sanctuary, not harmed by mankind. So, in the 21st century, what gives us the right to harm our planet—the beautiful gift God created?
Forests are disappearing at an alarming rate of 15% per year. Rising sea levels are destroying the habitats of animals in the Arctic. It is time for us to act and strive to step forward in the right direction.
Some efforts are being made, but they are not enough. Electric cars, congestion charges, and recycling programs are all steps pointing us in the right direction. But more has to be done. Our planet is our home, and our home is being destroyed. Take a minute to imagine how life will be for our future children—the future generations. Surely we do not want them to live on a planet of devastating disaster and destruction—rising sea levels, cities underwater, unbearably high temperatures.
We must act. We must do more. We must change. We must save our planet. Governments must reduce carbon emissions and adopt stricter policies. Businesses must adopt sustainable practices. Supermarkets should provide free reusable bags. Even individuals like you and me must strive to do more. We have a huge role to play. Simple actions like recycling, using paper straws, and supporting eco-friendly brands can make a huge difference.
But why should we care? The planet does not belong to us; it belongs to God. We must protect our planet for future generations. Every tree we cut down, every plastic bag we use—we are causing the destruction of our planet. By harming our planet, we are jeopardising our survival.
I leave you all with a simple, urgent plea: start small. Turn off lights when not in use. Recycle. Plant trees. Let us all save our planet. Let us all be the generation that saves our planet and does not destroy it.
Thank you.

bye this is so good-
Original post by mmik_mikaeel
bye this is so good-

thanks what grade?
Original post by Hellopeople!
We are harming the planet we live on and need to do more to improve the situation.’
You have been asked to deliver a speech to your peers in which you explain your views on this statement.
Your speech may include:
what harm people might be causing to the planet
what is being done, or should be done, to improve the situation
any other points you wish to make.
Your response will be marked for the accurate and appropriate use of vocabulary, spelling, punctuation and grammar. Out of 45
My answer
Today, I am here to talk to you about a compelling issue—our role in the undeniable destruction of our planet. Do we realise that every plastic bag we use, every reusable bag we forget to take to the supermarket, every plastic straw we drink from in coffee shops, and every car we drive is contributing to the destruction of the planet we call home? These actions are pushing Earth to a breaking point.
Every year, greenhouse gases have increased by 20 percent in the UK. Why, you may ask? Because people like you and me are contributing to the destruction of our planet. Our planet was created by God billions of years ago. Billions of years ago, there were no cars. Billions of years ago, there were no plastic bags. Billions of years ago, there were no cars contributing to the terrifying tragedy of rising greenhouse gases. Billions of years ago, there was no mass deforestation in countries like Brazil. Billions of years ago, Earth was a beautiful sanctuary, not harmed by mankind. So, in the 21st century, what gives us the right to harm our planet—the beautiful gift God created?
Forests are disappearing at an alarming rate of 15% per year. Rising sea levels are destroying the habitats of animals in the Arctic. It is time for us to act and strive to step forward in the right direction.
Some efforts are being made, but they are not enough. Electric cars, congestion charges, and recycling programs are all steps pointing us in the right direction. But more has to be done. Our planet is our home, and our home is being destroyed. Take a minute to imagine how life will be for our future children—the future generations. Surely we do not want them to live on a planet of devastating disaster and destruction—rising sea levels, cities underwater, unbearably high temperatures.
We must act. We must do more. We must change. We must save our planet. Governments must reduce carbon emissions and adopt stricter policies. Businesses must adopt sustainable practices. Supermarkets should provide free reusable bags. Even individuals like you and me must strive to do more. We have a huge role to play. Simple actions like recycling, using paper straws, and supporting eco-friendly brands can make a huge difference.
But why should we care? The planet does not belong to us; it belongs to God. We must protect our planet for future generations. Every tree we cut down, every plastic bag we use—we are causing the destruction of our planet. By harming our planet, we are jeopardising our survival.
I leave you all with a simple, urgent plea: start small. Turn off lights when not in use. Recycle. Plant trees. Let us all save our planet. Let us all be the generation that saves our planet and does not destroy it.
Thank you.

If you just want a grade you can always send this to chat gpt along with the mark scheme and itll mark it- its not always accurate and my teacher said that its sometimes rly off but probably so will any answers given here. Its given me the exact same mark my teacher does sometimes tho so worth a try? Accurate realistic grades can only really be given by a teacher tho.
Reply 14
Original post by Hellopeople!
We are harming the planet we live on and need to do more to improve the situation.’
You have been asked to deliver a speech to your peers in which you explain your views on this statement.
Your speech may include:
what harm people might be causing to the planet
what is being done, or should be done, to improve the situation
any other points you wish to make.
Your response will be marked for the accurate and appropriate use of vocabulary, spelling, punctuation and grammar. Out of 45
My answer
Today, I am here to talk to you about a compelling issue—our role in the undeniable destruction of our planet. Do we realise that every plastic bag we use, every reusable bag we forget to take to the supermarket, every plastic straw we drink from in coffee shops, and every car we drive is contributing to the destruction of the planet we call home? These actions are pushing Earth to a breaking point.
Every year, greenhouse gases have increased by 20 percent in the UK. Why, you may ask? Because people like you and me are contributing to the destruction of our planet. Our planet was created by God billions of years ago. Billions of years ago, there were no cars. Billions of years ago, there were no plastic bags. Billions of years ago, there were no cars contributing to the terrifying tragedy of rising greenhouse gases. Billions of years ago, there was no mass deforestation in countries like Brazil. Billions of years ago, Earth was a beautiful sanctuary, not harmed by mankind. So, in the 21st century, what gives us the right to harm our planet—the beautiful gift God created?
Forests are disappearing at an alarming rate of 15% per year. Rising sea levels are destroying the habitats of animals in the Arctic. It is time for us to act and strive to step forward in the right direction.
Some efforts are being made, but they are not enough. Electric cars, congestion charges, and recycling programs are all steps pointing us in the right direction. But more has to be done. Our planet is our home, and our home is being destroyed. Take a minute to imagine how life will be for our future children—the future generations. Surely we do not want them to live on a planet of devastating disaster and destruction—rising sea levels, cities underwater, unbearably high temperatures.
We must act. We must do more. We must change. We must save our planet. Governments must reduce carbon emissions and adopt stricter policies. Businesses must adopt sustainable practices. Supermarkets should provide free reusable bags. Even individuals like you and me must strive to do more. We have a huge role to play. Simple actions like recycling, using paper straws, and supporting eco-friendly brands can make a huge difference.
But why should we care? The planet does not belong to us; it belongs to God. We must protect our planet for future generations. Every tree we cut down, every plastic bag we use—we are causing the destruction of our planet. By harming our planet, we are jeopardising our survival.
I leave you all with a simple, urgent plea: start small. Turn off lights when not in use. Recycle. Plant trees. Let us all save our planet. Let us all be the generation that saves our planet and does not destroy it.
Thank you.

Is this qs in the 2024 language paper?
Original post by Marhs
Is this qs in the 2024 language paper?

no random paper I found old one
Reply 16
Original post by princesschip
Hi! I would probably give this 40 or 41 out of 45. It's really good and you clearly know how to use persuasive techniques well. You could try adding in some longer sentences- the length here seems to vary between medium and short- your short sentences are impactful but it can feel a little stilted without any longer sentences. Also try to include some quotes/studies from experts (fake ones, obviously). You are allowed to make things up! Your percentage increase statistics are a good start, but you can strengthen this with an extra little 'A study by Doctor Paul Brown from York University into the makeup of the UK's atmosphere shows that...' or just little extra details like that to up the realism. Otherwise, good use of anaphora (although using a lot can make it less effective, which your piece could be suffering from), punctuation and rhetorical questions, and generally a pretty fluent and well written piece. Well done!

I would give this piece an overall grade of a seven maybe and eight because there is alot of good use of DAFOREST techniques but there could be abit more detail and the sentence structure could vary slightly more however overall all the ideas are cohesive and well presented so it is a goof piece of work.

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