I'm about to go insane

I'm about to go insane. Why do universities have such rigid application systems and put so many obstacles in place for applicants who have already faced too many obstacles to get to this point? There is so much contextual consideration for people who just live in a poor area but could live in a massive house. I'm not eligible for any contextual offers despite sitting my A levels when my mum had terminal cancer and SELF-TEACHING myself A-level Maths in my gap year. I mean, for goodness' sake, I achieved an A* despite getting a s*** grade at GCSE level and not knowing most of the content because I was part of the 2022 cohort.
Who wants a story time?????
So I was born to a normal white British mum and dad in the countryside. I'm actually a twin. My mum always wanted more than two kids, but unfortunately, she could never have more than just us two. To be honest, I never really thought my dad treated my mum well enough. She always did all the stuff around the house (cooking, cleaning, taking us out, etc.). I mean, she even took a job at both the primary and secondary schools I went to so she could see us more, despite the s*** pay. She truly worked hard and made a big difference (she was a PTA in my primary school and one of the support staff at my secondary). She was so kind to everyone, and I don’t think people truly appreciated her. My dad hasn’t got a particularly fancy job; he looks at buildings and diagnoses them (he hates his job). We weren’t poor, and we weren’t rich—we were just sort of your average family. Well, apart from the fact my Mum actually was perfect.
I was never particularly good at school between the ages of 4 and 14. I guess maybe being born in August and having problems with speech growing up made it hard for me to keep up and actually find a passion for anything. I was also bullied in primary school because of my speech, but I was lucky enough to receive speech therapy when I was younger, so I don’t really have any problems with speech anymore. I achieved below average in my SATs and my target grades for my gcses were 4s and my target A level grades were just DDE. I achieved just two grades 7 or above in my GCSEs (the rest were 5s and 6s)(probably bottom 40% in my school). I get it, it’s bad.
My mum was diagnosed with two stage 3 triple-negative cancers when I was in Year 9. I was still too young to fully understand what was going on and what could happen. I really wanted to get into the first set for science, but unfortunately, I hadn’t mastered exam technique and scored poorly on the exams, so I was placed in Set 3 (there were four sets). I then really locked in and managed to get into Set 1 after Christmas in Year 10. However, because the COVID-19 lockdown took place just three months into me being in Set 1, I never sat a single test. Once I went back for Year 11, we never had proper tests, and everything was based on how we did pre-pandemic. I was just given a 6 in each of the sciences (and a 5 in English Language, which really reduces the number of options). I also really got into running and ran three tough mudders to raise money for cancer research at 16. I might do the worlds toughest to raise more, but ummm I'm not sure.
Then Year 12 came around, and my mum’s cancer was in regression. I had my eyes set on medicine. When I started Year 12, I found a real passion for the subjects I was studying (Biology, Chemistry, and Geography) and managed to get predictions of A*A*A (2nd highest in my year). I also achieved an A* in my EPQ. The UCAT came around, and I achieved a 2930 (540 in VR let me down HAHAHA; though I had technical issues, to be fair). I was really confident and picked all the UCAT-heavy universities because, as you can see, my GCSEs are really poor. However, in October, just after sending off my application, I was told my mum’s cancer had returned and was terminal. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t shake me to a significant extent. I went to all four of my interviews and bottled them. During one of them, I couldn’t even speak because I really struggled with confidence that year, and my stutter returned. I received zero offers and was told that this was not the right time for me to be studying medicine.
I achieved AAA that summer (2023). I never tried to get in through Clearing as I knew my mother’s condition was worsening, and I thought it best to spend as much time with her as possible. I also started to self-teach myself A-level Maths on the side as something to do during my gap year to make sure I still had it—and, I guess, to prove to people that I could do well at Maths. Nearly all of my friends studied it and didn’t think I was as capable as them (they were all engineering/economics students, if you couldn’t already tell). My mum’s condition started to really worsen in November and December 2023. It was unbelievably difficult to see the person who glued the family together unable to do the things she so badly wanted to do, lose her hair (she hadn’t before because of the type of chemo), and shake from the pain. I had a job on the side (deli), which, to be honest, I hated and only did because my mum told me it would be good experience.
She had a final round of chemo at the end of 2023, but it didn’t work, and she went into a hospice at the start of April 2024. Around this time, my relationship with my girlfriend started to fall apart (mostly my fault because I wasn’t taking care of myself or being there for her). She even went clubbing on our anniversary, a week after my mum’s funeral (she broke up with me one month later). My mum died in June 2024 during my A-level Maths exams. I still achieved an A* (95%).
I then decided to go to Imperial to study Biomedical Engineering because I believed the people who said the time wasn’t right for medicine. I was struggling with morale and didn’t think I was in the right place to sit the UCAT again. Plus, there’s this stigma around taking more than one gap year. Anyway, I went, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I made some amazing friends, and the course was interesting, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do. I wanted to study medicine. I dropped out after one term.
The problem is that despite me already sitting the UCAT and achieving a score that would guarantee an interview at most UK universities (I get it’s not from the same year, but the average score for my year was lower than this year’s anyway—and why would it drop further???), and despite my circumstances, I’m being shut out. Why can’t they make exceptions? How would you have done in my circumstances? Would you always make the right decision? Do everything perfectly? I would have even been guaranteed an interview at Bristol regardless of my UCAT score that year, but they said no because I wanted to apply one month late. They hadn’t even started interviews yet.
Now I’m applying to Irish medical schools, and they won’t apply any special consideration either. I really want to go to a UK medical school. Oh well. If I apply for 2026, I’ll be 21, and half of the universities won’t even allow it if you sat your A levels more than two years ago. I've actually now just thought **** it lets try to just get into oxford, after all I've been through.
“As Douglas has already advised you, we do not make allowances to the very competitive entry requirements in situations where students have experienced difficult circumstances during the examinations. As we have no means of assessing factors such as the extent to which an applicant’s circumstances impacted their performance or whether they were near the top or bottom of a grade, it would simply not be feasible to fairly consider various circumstances which might arise in our pool of 26,000-plus applicants. The appropriate body to take your circumstances into account is the exams board, and I trust your school made them aware of your situation at the time.
Regards,
Susan”
Shut up, Susan. Please, I would love to see what you would do in my life.
Regards,
Someone who’s not a ****.
My dad has also resorted to alcoholism at home, and my brother is severely depressed. I am truly f***ed, and no one’s giving me a chance—just keep building more barriers. The longer I stay here, the more my life crumbles.

I'm still in yr 11 and I have no idea how the uni applications work but if you discuss it with a few chances are they might understand your circumstances. I have to say that you are incredible. I know that if something like that happened with me I would crumble and just fail everything. RIP to your mum, she would be proud. You are an inspiration. I genuinely wish you the most successful opportunities out there. Best of luck.

Nah, they actually do not care

Sorry to hear about your loss. Speaking from experience it sucks at any point in life.
As you’ve found, uns only typically take mitigating circumstances into account if you’re an offer holder who misses their conditions. Especially so for med, they just have so many applicants that they can fill their courses up regardless.
For med, it’s not unusual to take 2-3 application cycles to get an offer so I’ve not heard of the 2 yr restriction from many unis.
If you’re still determined for med, would you consider taking the UCAT again in the next round?

That's honestly so messed up...

Read Susans 'regards' email

Yh I saw it...Why do those people have no empathy for others 😭

It was in response to this email - i was already annoyed by previous emails and their lack of empathy or guidance. Like the email reply was utter s**t from Susan bc half of it is answered in this and just made me feel like a number and my circumstances aren't anything special or at all taxing.
I understand that other applicants whose parents have faced terminal illness or who have recently lost a parent might have applied if they were aware that adjustments would be made to account for such adversity. But as the application window is still open, I believe it would be both fair and compassionate to implement such adjustments for all applicants who have also faced the death of one or both of their parents in the past year or their parent(s) have a terminal illness.
I also hope you can recognise that my circumstances are particularly unique. While there may not currently be a program like HEAR or DARE for applicants who have experienced severe personal adversity (likely due to the smaller number of eligible applicants), I believe there is no reason why adjustments or supports of a similar nature could not be extended to applicants who have overcome extraordinary challenges. Losing a parent, especially a mother, at a young age is a deeply life-altering experience. I hope you can appreciate how such a loss can profoundly impact a teenager’s emotional well-being and ability to focus on their education.
Furthermore, I noticed that additional consideration is provided for applicants from areas with low progression to higher education (HEAR). I feel it is equally relevant to acknowledge that students who endure such significant personal loss and adversity may face similarly reduced chances of progressing to university.
I hope you don’t mind me raising this, but I feel as though the significant impact of my mother’s terminal illness and passing over the past two years has not been fully acknowledged. This has undoubtedly influenced my academic performance and will likely impact my HPAT score. It feels disheartening that no adjustment or additional consideration seems to be applied for these exceptional circumstances, especially when allowances are made for others facing different challenges.
I do not mean to come across as difficult, but I cannot help feeling as though everything that has happened to me is being dismissed or overlooked. Is there any way you might be able to discuss this internally to explore if any adjustment or consideration could be applied?

I'm about to go insane. Why do universities have such rigid application systems and put so many obstacles in place for applicants who have already faced too many obstacles to get to this point? There is so much contextual consideration for people who just live in a poor area but could live in a massive house. I'm not eligible for any contextual offers despite sitting my A levels when my mum had terminal cancer and SELF-TEACHING myself A-level Maths in my gap year. I mean, for goodness' sake, I achieved an A* despite getting a s*** grade at GCSE level and not knowing most of the content because I was part of the 2022 cohort.
Who wants a story time?????
So I was born to a normal white British mum and dad in the countryside. I'm actually a twin. My mum always wanted more than two kids, but unfortunately, she could never have more than just us two. To be honest, I never really thought my dad treated my mum well enough. She always did all the stuff around the house (cooking, cleaning, taking us out, etc.). I mean, she even took a job at both the primary and secondary schools I went to so she could see us more, despite the s*** pay. She truly worked hard and made a big difference (she was a PTA in my primary school and one of the support staff at my secondary). She was so kind to everyone, and I don’t think people truly appreciated her. My dad hasn’t got a particularly fancy job; he looks at buildings and diagnoses them (he hates his job). We weren’t poor, and we weren’t rich—we were just sort of your average family. Well, apart from the fact my Mum actually was perfect.
I was never particularly good at school between the ages of 4 and 14. I guess maybe being born in August and having problems with speech growing up made it hard for me to keep up and actually find a passion for anything. I was also bullied in primary school because of my speech, but I was lucky enough to receive speech therapy when I was younger, so I don’t really have any problems with speech anymore. I achieved below average in my SATs and my target grades for my gcses were 4s and my target A level grades were just DDE. I achieved just two grades 7 or above in my GCSEs (the rest were 5s and 6s)(probably bottom 40% in my school). I get it, it’s bad.
My mum was diagnosed with two stage 3 triple-negative cancers when I was in Year 9. I was still too young to fully understand what was going on and what could happen. I really wanted to get into the first set for science, but unfortunately, I hadn’t mastered exam technique and scored poorly on the exams, so I was placed in Set 3 (there were four sets). I then really locked in and managed to get into Set 1 after Christmas in Year 10. However, because the COVID-19 lockdown took place just three months into me being in Set 1, I never sat a single test. Once I went back for Year 11, we never had proper tests, and everything was based on how we did pre-pandemic. I was just given a 6 in each of the sciences (and a 5 in English Language, which really reduces the number of options). I also really got into running and ran three tough mudders to raise money for cancer research at 16. I might do the worlds toughest to raise more, but ummm I'm not sure.
Then Year 12 came around, and my mum’s cancer was in regression. I had my eyes set on medicine. When I started Year 12, I found a real passion for the subjects I was studying (Biology, Chemistry, and Geography) and managed to get predictions of A*A*A (2nd highest in my year). I also achieved an A* in my EPQ. The UCAT came around, and I achieved a 2930 (540 in VR let me down HAHAHA; though I had technical issues, to be fair). I was really confident and picked all the UCAT-heavy universities because, as you can see, my GCSEs are really poor. However, in October, just after sending off my application, I was told my mum’s cancer had returned and was terminal. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t shake me to a significant extent. I went to all four of my interviews and bottled them. During one of them, I couldn’t even speak because I really struggled with confidence that year, and my stutter returned. I received zero offers and was told that this was not the right time for me to be studying medicine.
I achieved AAA that summer (2023). I never tried to get in through Clearing as I knew my mother’s condition was worsening, and I thought it best to spend as much time with her as possible. I also started to self-teach myself A-level Maths on the side as something to do during my gap year to make sure I still had it—and, I guess, to prove to people that I could do well at Maths. Nearly all of my friends studied it and didn’t think I was as capable as them (they were all engineering/economics students, if you couldn’t already tell). My mum’s condition started to really worsen in November and December 2023. It was unbelievably difficult to see the person who glued the family together unable to do the things she so badly wanted to do, lose her hair (she hadn’t before because of the type of chemo), and shake from the pain. I had a job on the side (deli), which, to be honest, I hated and only did because my mum told me it would be good experience.
She had a final round of chemo at the end of 2023, but it didn’t work, and she went into a hospice at the start of April 2024. Around this time, my relationship with my girlfriend started to fall apart (mostly my fault because I wasn’t taking care of myself or being there for her). She even went clubbing on our anniversary, a week after my mum’s funeral (she broke up with me one month later). My mum died in June 2024 during my A-level Maths exams. I still achieved an A* (95%).
I then decided to go to Imperial to study Biomedical Engineering because I believed the people who said the time wasn’t right for medicine. I was struggling with morale and didn’t think I was in the right place to sit the UCAT again. Plus, there’s this stigma around taking more than one gap year. Anyway, I went, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I made some amazing friends, and the course was interesting, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do. I wanted to study medicine. I dropped out after one term.
The problem is that despite me already sitting the UCAT and achieving a score that would guarantee an interview at most UK universities (I get it’s not from the same year, but the average score for my year was lower than this year’s anyway—and why would it drop further???), and despite my circumstances, I’m being shut out. Why can’t they make exceptions? How would you have done in my circumstances? Would you always make the right decision? Do everything perfectly? I would have even been guaranteed an interview at Bristol regardless of my UCAT score that year, but they said no because I wanted to apply one month late. They hadn’t even started interviews yet.
Now I’m applying to Irish medical schools, and they won’t apply any special consideration either. I really want to go to a UK medical school. Oh well. If I apply for 2026, I’ll be 21, and half of the universities won’t even allow it if you sat your A levels more than two years ago. I've actually now just thought **** it lets try to just get into oxford, after all I've been through.
“As Douglas has already advised you, we do not make allowances to the very competitive entry requirements in situations where students have experienced difficult circumstances during the examinations. As we have no means of assessing factors such as the extent to which an applicant’s circumstances impacted their performance or whether they were near the top or bottom of a grade, it would simply not be feasible to fairly consider various circumstances which might arise in our pool of 26,000-plus applicants. The appropriate body to take your circumstances into account is the exams board, and I trust your school made them aware of your situation at the time.
Regards,
Susan”
Shut up, Susan. Please, I would love to see what you would do in my life.
Regards,
Someone who’s not a ****.
My dad has also resorted to alcoholism at home, and my brother is severely depressed. I am truly f***ed, and no one’s giving me a chance—just keep building more barriers. The longer I stay here, the more my life crumbles.

yeah I think you should've told the interviewers how you felt and what was happening. im sure they'd been very very lenient.
Unfortunately, there are also a lot of people who haven't gone through as much as you have who have faced limited circumstances and yet still claim exenuating circumstances so unis cant really allow that.
despite the fact oxford is filled with low performing students who dont have exenuating circumstances at all. theyre just chosen based off dei

You have achieved a great deal despite ur horrible circumstances, you should be very proud of yourself. I cant imagine having gone through something like this during my A-levels, or after. Im sorry to hear universities arent helping in any way and i really do wish you the best.

You definitely have made a very strong and clear point. Idk what else can be done but maybe file a complaint or something to an official you can contact? And even while ur doing that maybe just keep looking for alternatives. Easier said than done but I'm hoping the best for you.

I'm about to go insane. Why do universities have such rigid application systems and put so many obstacles in place for applicants who have already faced too many obstacles to get to this point? There is so much contextual consideration for people who just live in a poor area but could live in a massive house. I'm not eligible for any contextual offers despite sitting my A levels when my mum had terminal cancer and SELF-TEACHING myself A-level Maths in my gap year. I mean, for goodness' sake, I achieved an A* despite getting a s*** grade at GCSE level and not knowing most of the content because I was part of the 2022 cohort.
Who wants a story time?????
So I was born to a normal white British mum and dad in the countryside. I'm actually a twin. My mum always wanted more than two kids, but unfortunately, she could never have more than just us two. To be honest, I never really thought my dad treated my mum well enough. She always did all the stuff around the house (cooking, cleaning, taking us out, etc.). I mean, she even took a job at both the primary and secondary schools I went to so she could see us more, despite the s*** pay. She truly worked hard and made a big difference (she was a PTA in my primary school and one of the support staff at my secondary). She was so kind to everyone, and I don’t think people truly appreciated her. My dad hasn’t got a particularly fancy job; he looks at buildings and diagnoses them (he hates his job). We weren’t poor, and we weren’t rich—we were just sort of your average family. Well, apart from the fact my Mum actually was perfect.
I was never particularly good at school between the ages of 4 and 14. I guess maybe being born in August and having problems with speech growing up made it hard for me to keep up and actually find a passion for anything. I was also bullied in primary school because of my speech, but I was lucky enough to receive speech therapy when I was younger, so I don’t really have any problems with speech anymore. I achieved below average in my SATs and my target grades for my gcses were 4s and my target A level grades were just DDE. I achieved just two grades 7 or above in my GCSEs (the rest were 5s and 6s)(probably bottom 40% in my school). I get it, it’s bad.
My mum was diagnosed with two stage 3 triple-negative cancers when I was in Year 9. I was still too young to fully understand what was going on and what could happen. I really wanted to get into the first set for science, but unfortunately, I hadn’t mastered exam technique and scored poorly on the exams, so I was placed in Set 3 (there were four sets). I then really locked in and managed to get into Set 1 after Christmas in Year 10. However, because the COVID-19 lockdown took place just three months into me being in Set 1, I never sat a single test. Once I went back for Year 11, we never had proper tests, and everything was based on how we did pre-pandemic. I was just given a 6 in each of the sciences (and a 5 in English Language, which really reduces the number of options). I also really got into running and ran three tough mudders to raise money for cancer research at 16. I might do the worlds toughest to raise more, but ummm I'm not sure.
Then Year 12 came around, and my mum’s cancer was in regression. I had my eyes set on medicine. When I started Year 12, I found a real passion for the subjects I was studying (Biology, Chemistry, and Geography) and managed to get predictions of A*A*A (2nd highest in my year). I also achieved an A* in my EPQ. The UCAT came around, and I achieved a 2930 (540 in VR let me down HAHAHA; though I had technical issues, to be fair). I was really confident and picked all the UCAT-heavy universities because, as you can see, my GCSEs are really poor. However, in October, just after sending off my application, I was told my mum’s cancer had returned and was terminal. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t shake me to a significant extent. I went to all four of my interviews and bottled them. During one of them, I couldn’t even speak because I really struggled with confidence that year, and my stutter returned. I received zero offers and was told that this was not the right time for me to be studying medicine.
I achieved AAA that summer (2023). I never tried to get in through Clearing as I knew my mother’s condition was worsening, and I thought it best to spend as much time with her as possible. I also started to self-teach myself A-level Maths on the side as something to do during my gap year to make sure I still had it—and, I guess, to prove to people that I could do well at Maths. Nearly all of my friends studied it and didn’t think I was as capable as them (they were all engineering/economics students, if you couldn’t already tell). My mum’s condition started to really worsen in November and December 2023. It was unbelievably difficult to see the person who glued the family together unable to do the things she so badly wanted to do, lose her hair (she hadn’t before because of the type of chemo), and shake from the pain. I had a job on the side (deli), which, to be honest, I hated and only did because my mum told me it would be good experience.
She had a final round of chemo at the end of 2023, but it didn’t work, and she went into a hospice at the start of April 2024. Around this time, my relationship with my girlfriend started to fall apart (mostly my fault because I wasn’t taking care of myself or being there for her). She even went clubbing on our anniversary, a week after my mum’s funeral (she broke up with me one month later). My mum died in June 2024 during my A-level Maths exams. I still achieved an A* (95%).
I then decided to go to Imperial to study Biomedical Engineering because I believed the people who said the time wasn’t right for medicine. I was struggling with morale and didn’t think I was in the right place to sit the UCAT again. Plus, there’s this stigma around taking more than one gap year. Anyway, I went, but my heart just wasn’t in it. I made some amazing friends, and the course was interesting, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do. I wanted to study medicine. I dropped out after one term.
The problem is that despite me already sitting the UCAT and achieving a score that would guarantee an interview at most UK universities (I get it’s not from the same year, but the average score for my year was lower than this year’s anyway—and why would it drop further???), and despite my circumstances, I’m being shut out. Why can’t they make exceptions? How would you have done in my circumstances? Would you always make the right decision? Do everything perfectly? I would have even been guaranteed an interview at Bristol regardless of my UCAT score that year, but they said no because I wanted to apply one month late. They hadn’t even started interviews yet.
Now I’m applying to Irish medical schools, and they won’t apply any special consideration either. I really want to go to a UK medical school. Oh well. If I apply for 2026, I’ll be 21, and half of the universities won’t even allow it if you sat your A levels more than two years ago. I've actually now just thought **** it lets try to just get into oxford, after all I've been through.
“As Douglas has already advised you, we do not make allowances to the very competitive entry requirements in situations where students have experienced difficult circumstances during the examinations. As we have no means of assessing factors such as the extent to which an applicant’s circumstances impacted their performance or whether they were near the top or bottom of a grade, it would simply not be feasible to fairly consider various circumstances which might arise in our pool of 26,000-plus applicants. The appropriate body to take your circumstances into account is the exams board, and I trust your school made them aware of your situation at the time.
Regards,
Susan”
Shut up, Susan. Please, I would love to see what you would do in my life.
Regards,
Someone who’s not a ****.
My dad has also resorted to alcoholism at home, and my brother is severely depressed. I am truly f***ed, and no one’s giving me a chance—just keep building more barriers. The longer I stay here, the more my life crumbles.

I know people that applied to study medicine. And didn't get in anywhere. Because of the nature of the selection process. And possibly, some bad luck.
It annoys me when I see people that were able to study medicine, that are clearly obviously less suited to the vocation than the people that were rejected.
It makes me feel bitter whenever I'm reminded of the success of the less deserving candidates.
But there's nothing I can do about it. So I quickly suppress my bitterness and move my thoughts on to something more positive or productive.
There's loads of other ways you can earn a living apart from medicine. Some of them will earn you more money, whilst still being relatively enjoyable.
How about turning your back on medicine with a bee in your bonnet? One where you're determined to prove all the application tutors wrong. So that you could go to any of them in a few years time and tell them how much you're earning per year and what you have to do to earn it. And compare that to what they're earning and what all their former students are earning.
Revenge is a dish best served from a position of superiority.
Your mum would want the best overall for you.
Make the best of your life for her, if for no-one else.