First a bit of backstory- initially, I thought I was bisexual but I had no evidence aside from a short-lived celebrity crush on Tom Holland and a crush on a girl at school. (I'm a girl btw). Later on, I developed a load of celebrity crushes on women and went on to date said girl. However I was away for most of the time so there was not much physical contact in that sense. In one instance we cuddled a bit but I felt quite uncomfortable though that might have been because we were on a sleepover with all our friends and we were subsequently the centre of attention and I have never liked my dating life to be the centre of attention. So I'm not sure if I disliked the physical contact or the attention. Later, when she officially asked me to be her girlfriend I was going to say yes then I was pressured so much by our friends that I panicked and said no. So that was kind of unrelated to the girl. Then I had a pretty big crush on another girl but then as soon as she liked me back I immediately lost feelings mostly but I was too far in at that point so we dated for a few months. We never spoke in person or touched and only texted. Things between us were not great as the friendship group she was in were lowkey bullying me and she would say bad things about me behind my back. She broke up with me because I 'didn't trust her'. I was totally unphased by this however. We lasted maybe 3 months. Then 7 months later maybe, I had a crush on another girl and I dated her (something of a serial dater at this point, I know). However I broke up with her 3 months later because I lost feelings. Then I had a crush on another girl and this was the biggest crush yet, I would blush (and I never blush) when we made eye-contact. I never did anything about the crush however. Then I realised I liked girl 3 AGAIN and I went a bit insane so I texted her and we got back together. But then after a few months she told me to break up with her because I didn't love her. I understand I am a really awful person for this, but I really need to figure things out. Then I was on a cruise and I was in a friendship group with a boy. Up until this point I had been certain I was a lesbian for a year and a half. I go to a girl's school if that provides any insight. Anyway, I ended up developing a crush on this boy, and he liked me back and one thing after another, he kissed me. That was my first kiss. We live halfway across the world from each other btw. So after the cruise, he continued to snap me. I was ready to just leave it as a summer fling but he kept texting me so I remained slightly obsessed. And then for a few months after (I knew him in person for 4 days), I had a massive massive crush, maybe more so than ever- I even dreamt of him 6 times. Right now I am confused whether or not I am bisexual. I did like him, but I can't remember how much I did in person and how much of my obsession with him was just romanticisation and insanity. My history of relationships with girls is making me question whether I actually like girls- because my losing feelings might be down to the fact we NEVER kissed making it feel more like a friendship. But I also don't feel like I like men because I have never liked one before and I don't find that many of them attractive. I have a folder on tiktok of men I thought were slightly attractive but when I go back after a day I am repulsed. Please help!! I really want to like men because I want to have kids of my own. I also have had celebrity crushes on men if that helps.