For two years, I’ve known him. I met him when I was completely innocent, but I had severe anxiety issues. I became attached to him, and during those two years, our relationship was long-distance. We spoke all day and were constantly in touch, but he would often get lost in things he enjoys doing alone, like playing games or watching YouTube. I accepted this, but I always felt lonely. I kept myself busy with friends, work, and self-care. Then, one day, we had a huge fight, and he insulted me with the most hurtful words. The shock left me unable to eat and waking up terrified, unable to believe someone could hurt and scare me like that. Unfortunately, I went back to him, as he always portrayed himself as the victim.
The second time we fought was because he didn’t respect me, and by then, I had started losing myself. I lost my job and became a depressed, neglected person due to the constant arguments and his lack of attention. He then insulted me more and attacked me, and I started to mirror his behavior, attacking and insulting him in return. After a while, I completely got fed up and decided to break up with him. He threatened me, saying that if I didn’t leave immediately, he would hurt me. And I did. I blocked him, but he came back regretful, trying to win me back. I refused, until one day he told me he was sick and needed surgery. I felt sorry for him and told him I would stay with him until the surgery.
Even though I was with him, I felt constant anger and we argued all the time because of his neglect or because I couldn’t forgive him. Now, I’m torn .. should I break up with him before the surgery, or should I stay and support him for the remaining 7 days until it happens? I really don’t know what to do