The Student Room Group

just ignore rant

I'm just trying to get out emotions so yesterday was my first day back to school and I spent time getting ready and I felt so pretty and as soon as I leave my room my mom says "is that what you are wearing you look like you are trying to make us look poor" (I have to buy everything I own so I mainly got cheap clothes to save me some money) and after I made my little sisters their breakfast and I was leaving she said I looked like sh*t and that ruined all my confidence I had that morning and in my class they were talking Abt suicide and SH and I was on the edge of a break down bc the boys are jerks and joking around and making jokes Abt the subject and I was trying to zone out after a while and I was Abt to cry bc all of my memories were coming back and I was tracing scars and my stupid teacher asks me what I think Abt the subject like no I'm not saying anything bc if I do I will start crying and I will get picked on more. when I got home I got yelled at and bc I was on edge I started crying and my parents are the kind to be like people shouldn't cry so they yelled at me more whatever at least I didn't have to work today. idk the day itself wasn't bad but it triggered me and ever since I've been on edge and I'm shaking so bad still and I cant sleep as its currently 3AM and I'm wide awake so I'm not gonna get any sleep again I'm starting to get worried tho bc I been doing good with my mental health but the past few weeks feel like I'm gonna lose all my progress and fall back down that spiral idk I hope not maybe I'll just overwork my body more to distract myself I'm losing friends I got one left and her bf doesn't like me so shes ignoring me more so I feel so alone I feel like I have no one in my life I can trust. no one to feel safe around. no one to care Abt me. no one to talk to. I can think of so many people that hate me but idk if I can think of anyone that truly cares Abt me idk anymore prob just pick up some extra shifts and help my mom pay the bills so she doesn't fall behind on them again
Reply 1
Original post by idkk...
I'm just trying to get out emotions so yesterday was my first day back to school and I spent time getting ready and I felt so pretty and as soon as I leave my room my mom says "is that what you are wearing you look like you are trying to make us look poor" (I have to buy everything I own so I mainly got cheap clothes to save me some money) and after I made my little sisters their breakfast and I was leaving she said I looked like sh*t and that ruined all my confidence I had that morning and in my class they were talking Abt suicide and SH and I was on the edge of a break down bc the boys are jerks and joking around and making jokes Abt the subject and I was trying to zone out after a while and I was Abt to cry bc all of my memories were coming back and I was tracing scars and my stupid teacher asks me what I think Abt the subject like no I'm not saying anything bc if I do I will start crying and I will get picked on more. when I got home I got yelled at and bc I was on edge I started crying and my parents are the kind to be like people shouldn't cry so they yelled at me more whatever at least I didn't have to work today. idk the day itself wasn't bad but it triggered me and ever since I've been on edge and I'm shaking so bad still and I cant sleep as its currently 3AM and I'm wide awake so I'm not gonna get any sleep again I'm starting to get worried tho bc I been doing good with my mental health but the past few weeks feel like I'm gonna lose all my progress and fall back down that spiral idk I hope not maybe I'll just overwork my body more to distract myself I'm losing friends I got one left and her bf doesn't like me so shes ignoring me more so I feel so alone I feel like I have no one in my life I can trust. no one to feel safe around. no one to care Abt me. no one to talk to. I can think of so many people that hate me but idk if I can think of anyone that truly cares Abt me idk anymore prob just pick up some extra shifts and help my mom pay the bills so she doesn't fall behind on them again

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and going through all this. First, I want you to know that your feelings are valid, and it's okay to feel overwhelmed. You’ve been handling so much on your own, and it’s completely understandable that you’re feeling shaken and vulnerable.
It hurts to be criticized, especially by someone as close as a parent. But their words about your outfit or your emotions don’t define your worth. You deserve to feel proud of yourself for taking the time to feel good and for everything you do for your family. You deserve kindness, even from yourself.
The situation at school sounds deeply upsetting, too. Conversations about sensitive topics like mental health can be incredibly triggering, especially when others treat them insensitively. It’s okay that you couldn’t participate—your silence wasn’t a weakness; it was self-preservation. Please remind yourself of the strength it takes to get through moments like those.
You’ve mentioned feeling like you have no one to trust or rely on, but reaching out for help—even to someone who isn’t already in your life, like a counsellor, teacher, or support line—can make a big difference. You don’t have to face all of this alone. There are people out there who care and want to help; sometimes, it’s just about finding the right ones.
I know it feels tempting to overwork yourself or shut out the pain, but it’s important to take care of yourself, too. Small acts of self-kindness—whether it’s letting yourself rest, eating a favourite snack, or writing your feelings out like you did here—can start to lighten the load.
Please, consider reaching out to a professional who can listen and guide you through this. You’ve worked so hard on your mental health, and slipping doesn’t mean failure; it’s just a sign to seek extra support. You're not alone, even if it feels that way right now. You’re valuable, you’re worthy, and your struggles don’t define you. ❤️
I feel for you. I understand the things you have dealt with. Remember, everything will be OK in the end, and if it's not OK then it's not the end. I hope you find peace.
Reply 3
i went to therapy for a bit but its hard to get time and money for it
Original post by idkk...
i went to therapy for a bit but its hard to get time and money for it

Consider getting a bf.
Reply 5
Original post by Wired_1800
Consider getting a bf.

why
Original post by idkk...
why

You need to have someone in your corner. According to your post, your family situation is not excellent; your school situation is also not great with you having one friend left. If you got a boyfriend, you would have someone on your side that you can offload your frustrations and connect with on a deeper level.

To me, I think one reason why some young people struggle is that they are alone and dont have that significant other who can help them through situations. For example, with the school situation, you could have complained to your bf and he would have re-assured you and made you feel better.

When I was at school, my gf and I would go out to the shops or hangout whenever she felt stressed. She had few other friends, but I was the first she often complained to or wanted to speak with about her day or other issues.

Think about it…
(edited 1 month ago)
Original post by idkk...
I'm just trying to get out emotions so yesterday was my first day back to school and I spent time getting ready and I felt so pretty and as soon as I leave my room my mom says "is that what you are wearing you look like you are trying to make us look poor" (I have to buy everything I own so I mainly got cheap clothes to save me some money) and after I made my little sisters their breakfast and I was leaving she said I looked like sh*t and that ruined all my confidence I had that morning and in my class they were talking Abt suicide and SH and I was on the edge of a break down bc the boys are jerks and joking around and making jokes Abt the subject and I was trying to zone out after a while and I was Abt to cry bc all of my memories were coming back and I was tracing scars and my stupid teacher asks me what I think Abt the subject like no I'm not saying anything bc if I do I will start crying and I will get picked on more. when I got home I got yelled at and bc I was on edge I started crying and my parents are the kind to be like people shouldn't cry so they yelled at me more whatever at least I didn't have to work today. idk the day itself wasn't bad but it triggered me and ever since I've been on edge and I'm shaking so bad still and I cant sleep as its currently 3AM and I'm wide awake so I'm not gonna get any sleep again I'm starting to get worried tho bc I been doing good with my mental health but the past few weeks feel like I'm gonna lose all my progress and fall back down that spiral idk I hope not maybe I'll just overwork my body more to distract myself I'm losing friends I got one left and her bf doesn't like me so shes ignoring me more so I feel so alone I feel like I have no one in my life I can trust. no one to feel safe around. no one to care Abt me. no one to talk to. I can think of so many people that hate me but idk if I can think of anyone that truly cares Abt me idk anymore prob just pick up some extra shifts and help my mom pay the bills so she doesn't fall behind on them again

It sounds like there's a lot going on for you at the moment, well done for writing down some of these feelings and letting them out into the world rather than holding them in. We recommend calling to create a safety plan with us if you're worried about your mental health declining, our advisors at HOPELINEUK are available 24/7 if you need someone to help you stay safe. Please feel free to call us on 0800 068 4141.

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