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I get frustrated that my parents didn’t help me become a more functional person

I feel kind of guilty for this and I can’t put the full blame onto them as ultimately it’s up to us to shape ourselves and take responsibility for ourselves, but I can’t help not acknowledging that they somewhat contributed to how I am. I couldn’t look up to my parents as mentors or rolemodels which I really needed in life, they’ve never been able to offer me any advice or guidance on how to navigate life when I need someone to turn to like help with adulting and work and education- in fact still treat me like a child in my mid twenties and would probably be happy for me to stay like a child for the rest of my life, like when I try to have a conversation as an adult I’m met with the same kid speak of when I was a 9yo child and it feels so patronising. I’ve always been a very ambitious person but they aren’t which frustrates me to be in that environment and having ambition but lacking direction is painful. I also felt like my upbringing dented me socially I picked up social quirks from my parents which has affected my ability to socialise and I’m socially inept, they are also quite antisocial and we don’t have any family friends, I always wished I was brought up in a more outgoing environment. I know the very obvious answer to my issue is to branch out, but that’s my problem my lack of social skills and social confidence plus social anxiety prevents me from doing that so I’m stuck in an environment which bogs me down and acts like a vicious cycle. I feel like my upbringing really put a dent in my potential, but at the same time feel guilt as my parents aren’t bad people and do a lot to provide to me in other ways, I don’t hate them and they don’t mean to be the way they are but I hate feeling like the odd one out, but just around my parents but my family in general I feel like a cat among dogs.

Reply 1

Phoneetc

I get this, me too. When I was younger I'd spend almost all my time in my room and playing games. My parents didn't really make an effort to make me go outside and join clubs to learn new skills and if they did they'd relent easily if I was dissatisfied with it, so naturally I became so shy and scared to talk to people 😭.
I've tried to fix this by working and joining clubs but whenever I'm at home I feel like I'm going back to how I was before I decided I needed to try and make a change.

Reply 2

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

I'm curious as to what you're referring to in terms of being a functional person. Do you mean practical things like cleaning the house, cooking, paying bills, managing finances, etc?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post

by PinkMobilePhone

I'm curious as to what you're referring to in terms of being a functional person. Do you mean practical things like cleaning the house, cooking, paying bills, managing finances, etc?

I guess I meant values like determination/drive, social skills and how to navigate adult life in terms of work/education and how to stand on my own two feet.

Reply 4

PinkMobilePhone

Chat Forum Helper, Life & Style Forum Helper

Original post

by Anonymous

I guess I meant values like determination/drive, social skills and how to navigate adult life in terms of work/education and how to stand on my own two feet.