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loser

I am a 19 year old female
-Never had a relationship
-Never had a talking stage
-Hardly talks to guys (I'm not sure why, maybe I am just ugly, or I am awkward idk)
-Hardly any social life
-Dont really have anywhere to go out to
-No one to talk to
-Really lonely, and really unsatisfied with my life

I think I am the problem but I have been trying really hard to be less awkward. Also I see other girls be approached by guys even if they are awkward so maybe it is just the ugly thing. I dont know how to change the way I am and I feel really undesirable so this makes me even more socially awkward, insecure and not too confident in outside settings.

Reply 1

k59533

Original post

by Anonymous

I am a 19 year old female
-Never had a relationship
-Never had a talking stage
-Hardly talks to guys (I'm not sure why, maybe I am just ugly, or I am awkward idk)
-Hardly any social life
-Dont really have anywhere to go out to
-No one to talk to
-Really lonely, and really unsatisfied with my life
I think I am the problem but I have been trying really hard to be less awkward. Also I see other girls be approached by guys even if they are awkward so maybe it is just the ugly thing. I dont know how to change the way I am and I feel really undesirable so this makes me even more socially awkward, insecure and not too confident in outside settings.

What uni do you go to?

Reply 2

username7455099

Original post

by Anonymous

I am a 19 year old female
-Never had a relationship
-Never had a talking stage
-Hardly talks to guys (I'm not sure why, maybe I am just ugly, or I am awkward idk)
-Hardly any social life
-Dont really have anywhere to go out to
-No one to talk to
-Really lonely, and really unsatisfied with my life
I think I am the problem but I have been trying really hard to be less awkward. Also I see other girls be approached by guys even if they are awkward so maybe it is just the ugly thing. I dont know how to change the way I am and I feel really undesirable so this makes me even more socially awkward, insecure and not too confident in outside settings.

I’ve experienced some of the issues you’re facing though from a male perspective but I feel a big issue here is you don’t seem to like yourself and how do you expect anybody to like you if you don’t like yourself and think you’re worth it? I get how awkward it is sometimes in social settings but is there nobody you’re somewhat friendly with who can involve you in your friend group? Or a club or society which peaks your interest and will jazz with? You shouldn’t change yourself to be what you think people will like, rather you need to change yourself into the version of you you’re happy with. I know it’s hard showing self care sometimes but I really think you need to start valuing yourself more and maybe connect with people who have similar interests to you as it’s far easier to talk about shared interests than awkwardly trying to find common ground with someone you clearly don’t have it with. I hope this has been some help as I know it’s what everyone pretty much says but I think you need to identity what you’re unhappy with in life and realistically change it to what you’re happy with and start showing some self love

Reply 3

DeathNote5913

Original post

by Anonymous

I am a 19 year old female
-Never had a relationship
-Never had a talking stage
-Hardly talks to guys (I'm not sure why, maybe I am just ugly, or I am awkward idk)
-Hardly any social life
-Dont really have anywhere to go out to
-No one to talk to
-Really lonely, and really unsatisfied with my life
I think I am the problem but I have been trying really hard to be less awkward. Also I see other girls be approached by guys even if they are awkward so maybe it is just the ugly thing. I dont know how to change the way I am and I feel really undesirable so this makes me even more socially awkward, insecure and not too confident in outside settings.

Hey, I can tell you’re feeling really down right now, but I want to say that you’re not a “loser” just because of these things. A lot of people go through similar struggles, even if it feels like you’re alone in this. Relationships and socializing aren’t a race—there’s no specific timeline you have to follow.

It’s great that you’re trying to work on yourself by addressing social awkwardness, but don’t be too hard on yourself. Confidence comes with time and practice. Maybe start small—like joining a hobby group or attending events that match your interests. It’s a good way to meet people without feeling overwhelmed.

Also, remember that attractiveness isn’t just about looks—it’s about how you feel about yourself. If you focus on improving your self-esteem and doing things that make you happy, it’ll naturally reflect outward.

You’re not alone in this, and things can get better with patience and small steps forward. Keep going—you’ve got this.