Why am I as a girl jealous of guys I’m attracted to???
Reply 1
It sounds like you're navigating a complex mix of admiration, attraction, and self-reflection, which is not uncommon. What you're describing—wanting to be someone you’re also attracted to—is something many people experience to varying degrees, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re trans or anything else specific. It could simply reflect a deep admiration for traits that you value or feel you lack in yourself.
A Few Thoughts:
1.
Jealousy and Admiration: Admiring someone’s confidence, appearance, or presence is natural, and it’s easy for those feelings to blur into envy or longing. This could stem from wanting those qualities for yourself, not necessarily wanting to change your gender.
2.
Exploring the "Wish to Be": Your wish to "occasionally become these dudes" might indicate a desire to embody certain aspects of masculinity or freedom you associate with them. This doesn’t mean you’re not okay with being female—it might mean you’re drawn to a more fluid sense of identity or self-expression.
3.
Romantic Complications: These mixed feelings could complicate relationships if you feel unsure about your own role or identity in the dynamic. Exploring what you truly desire—both in a partner and within yourself—could help untangle these emotions.
4.
Self-Acceptance and Expression: Instead of feeling trapped by the inability to become someone else, you might channel that energy into embracing parts of them you admire. For example, if you love their confidence or style, what can you incorporate into your life that aligns with your own identity?
Ways to Navigate:
•
Journaling or Reflection: Write about what exactly you’re jealous of and why. This can help you pinpoint what you want or need.
•
Experiment with Expression: Explore elements of masculinity or confidence in ways that feel authentic—like clothing, hairstyles, or how you carry yourself.
•
Talk It Out: If you feel safe, discuss these feelings with someone you trust or a counselor. They can offer perspective and help you explore these layers without judgment.
•
Focus on Connection: When pursuing someone romantically, try focusing on the emotional connection rather than how you measure up to them.
You’re not alone in feeling this way. Many people wrestle with admiration, envy, and attraction all rolled into one. It’s okay to take your time figuring out what it all means for you.
Reply 2
It sounds like you're navigating a complex mix of admiration, attraction, and self-reflection, which is not uncommon. What you're describing—wanting to be someone you’re also attracted to—is something many people experience to varying degrees, and it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re trans or anything else specific. It could simply reflect a deep admiration for traits that you value or feel you lack in yourself.
A Few Thoughts:
1.
Jealousy and Admiration: Admiring someone’s confidence, appearance, or presence is natural, and it’s easy for those feelings to blur into envy or longing. This could stem from wanting those qualities for yourself, not necessarily wanting to change your gender.
2.
Exploring the "Wish to Be": Your wish to "occasionally become these dudes" might indicate a desire to embody certain aspects of masculinity or freedom you associate with them. This doesn’t mean you’re not okay with being female—it might mean you’re drawn to a more fluid sense of identity or self-expression.
3.
Romantic Complications: These mixed feelings could complicate relationships if you feel unsure about your own role or identity in the dynamic. Exploring what you truly desire—both in a partner and within yourself—could help untangle these emotions.
4.
Self-Acceptance and Expression: Instead of feeling trapped by the inability to become someone else, you might channel that energy into embracing parts of them you admire. For example, if you love their confidence or style, what can you incorporate into your life that aligns with your own identity?
Ways to Navigate:
•
Journaling or Reflection: Write about what exactly you’re jealous of and why. This can help you pinpoint what you want or need.
•
Experiment with Expression: Explore elements of masculinity or confidence in ways that feel authentic—like clothing, hairstyles, or how you carry yourself.
•
Talk It Out: If you feel safe, discuss these feelings with someone you trust or a counselor. They can offer perspective and help you explore these layers without judgment.
•
Focus on Connection: When pursuing someone romantically, try focusing on the emotional connection rather than how you measure up to them.
You’re not alone in feeling this way. Many people wrestle with admiration, envy, and attraction all rolled into one. It’s okay to take your time figuring out what it all means for you.
Yeah but it isn’t necessarily about personality, it’s jealous of physical appearance lol. I don’t think that’s common.
Reply 3
Reply 4
Reply 5
See I don’t wanna transition and then change my mind bc it’s or fully reversible. And my family will disown me. If I was absolutely sure I was then I’d go ahead with it.
Reply 6
Reply 7
No
Reply 8
This seems to be more a case of you dwelling in the wrong kind of emotional state.
Some people would regard it as a "demonic" emotional state. Demonic either literally or metaphorically.
Other's would describe it as a negative emotional state.
Other's a "lower vibration" emotional state.
Jealousy is the sort of emotional state you should be looking to avoid. Or if you do feel it, look to over-ride it in terms of how you speak and behave.
Other "lower vibration" emotional states include: apathy, hatred, despair, sadness, anger.
Higher vibration emotional states include: joy, happiness, love, living in the present moment, enlightenment, excitement, enthusiasm.
Try to make it that when you look at these guys that you feel happy for them for their handsome masculinity and confidence.
It may help if you make it so that you are content with your pretty femininity and confidence. So that your basic philosophy is one of "I'm OK, he's OK. And it's OK that I'm OK and he's OK"
Whereas at the moment, your philosophy is too much of "I'm not sure if I'm OK, he's OK and it's not OK that he's OK."
I think that S Argov's book "Why Men Love *****es" would be a great read for you.
It's like some people will go around feeling jealous whenever they see someone else driving a Porsche 911 or a Ferrari.
And some people will feel happy or enthused that someone else is driving such a car, and they will feel that the world is a better place for having these cars. That's the sort of attitude you should have when mixing with high level guys.
Reply 9
Hi, I'm a trans guy who came out over 7 years ago, and I'm currently on male hormones and waiting to get surgery. For me I definitely experienced a lot of jealousy towards guys before I transitioned, which all turned out to be linked back to my instinctual belief I should have a male body. I totally understand that you might not be trans, and I think it's smart of you to be cautious because it's a big decision even with a supportive family. But I thought as someone with experience being trans I'd share some advice/things to think about which might be helpful to you either way.
First off, do you currently present as a masculine woman? If not, experimenting with that would be my first suggestion. You can get a "male haircut", and if you do certain exercises at the gym you could get muscles (I'm not an expert but you could research it). You can also use makeup to create the appearance of things like a different jawline and stubble. Maybe you don't need to *be* a man, but you'd be more comfortable stereotypically looking like one. There are also some masculine women who use chest binders or get a breast reduction (not sure you're interested in that, but since you mentioned muscles I thought a stereotypically male-looking torso might be of interest to you). Some women go by traditionally male names too. If you're able to change the way you present and that makes you feel better, great, no need to transition!
But also, if that doesn't work, social transition is reversible. It sounds like you couldn't try out a male identity around your family, but maybe you have trans-inclusive friends you could do so with, or maybe a therapist/doctor, or colleagues? Asking them to use male pronouns, talk about you as if you had a male body, etc, and seeing how that makes you feel. I'd also like to add that some people feel more comfortable living as a man but never go on hormones or get surgery, in case you didn't know!
If you're not able to experiment with your appearance/identity at all, I'd just try to deeply explore where that jealousy comes from. Have you ever struggled with internalized misogyny, and if so could it be linked to that? Do you experience the jealousy around extremely masculine women too, or just men?
Hope some of that is helpful!
Reply 10
As a girl who likes girls i feel the same way towards some of the women I've been attracted to, yanno the whole "i wanna be with her but i also wanna be her" feeling. What you considered that you might want to be a boy and you're jealously is a result of the fact that the guys you crush on are your ideal version of masculinity so while you definitely have a crush on them you also want to be a guy the way they're a guy.
Reply 11
There's trans people who don't transition because they're scared of facing bigotry. I suggest trying to look slightly more masculine, enough to sometimes be mistaken as a boy and imagine how you would feel living as a boy basically just experiment with your gender(dont let your family know if your trying new pronouns or whatever bcz u said they'd disown you) and if you really like that then you're probably trans. you don't need to ever medically transition if you don't want to, you can be trans and not do the medical surgeries or whatever but it does help alot of peoples dysphoria.
Reply 12
Sorry i ment to reply to OPs comment about transitioning not you
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