Worried about age

Hey,

I’m gonna be 40 next year when I finally go to to Uni (Sheffield University probably).

In worried that I’ll be too old for uni. I will have to live in student dorms first year as I’m moving away. And I would want to join some societies and try have somewhat of a uni experience, including occasionally going out for drinks with uni mates, joining societies, doing freshers (maybe not every night but a few of them!).

I’m worried that everyone’s gonna think I’m old and creepy because I’m at uni, because I’m in student dorms and because I’m at some of the social events!

Is this gonna be an issue for me? Should I just not get involved in those aspects of uni and just stick to attending the classes? Since I’m gay, I also wanted to select LGBTQ accommodation if possible too?

Anybody got any advice on these issues, especially any current Sheffield students?

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Reply 1

Forlornsoul

Hey there,

Not a Sheffield alum, however some general points I'd like to highlight are,

•

Yes, the majority of uni students will be under 25. And some halls / events etc will be geared towards that. But there will be plenty of alternatives which suit your style more

•

A small subset of people will always be judgemental. I have mobility issues and don't drink for health reasons, and to begin with people saw me as a prude. But with time, they were almost jealous that I could have a good time whilst still being in control of my senses

•

I'm not aware of whether there is any accommodation specifically for gay people in Sheffield, but there may well be

•

Long story short - there is no 'right' time or age, everyone's journey is their own, so have fun!

Reply 2

ErasistratusV

It is understandable that you have some concerns but there is absolutely nothing to be worried about. Any university will have a highly diverse student population and you will find like-minded people to mix with. There may be some negative sentiment from a small number of individuals- life is littered with such people and as a mature student you likely recognise that more readily than most. But it's not a big deal and you won't be forced to gel with those people as such.

You will meet with life-long friends at Uni and it is an experience that may well change your life and career prospects. Enjoy your time there as it passes very very quickly.

I would lightly advise against selecting only particular social or other circles as you pass through the course. One of the biggest benefits I have found from attending University is the opportunity to meet and mix with a very broad range of people compared to my own background or up-bringing. This has genuinely changed me as a person I think and for the better. I would describe myself as socially awkward anyway and not a natural extrovert but I have forged friendships with people I would not have otherwise met. I feel that if I shuttered myself away into a select group of mature-only students it would have hampered my progression through the course. Your peers and support network may well carry you through the tougher academic phases of any course.

Best of luck.

E.

Reply 3

cyrusmaq

Original post

by ErasistratusV

It is understandable that you have some concerns but there is absolutely nothing to be worried about. Any university will have a highly diverse student population and you will find like-minded people to mix with. There may be some negative sentiment from a small number of individuals- life is littered with such people and as a mature student you likely recognise that more readily than most. But it's not a big deal and you won't be forced to gel with those people as such.
You will meet with life-long friends at Uni and it is an experience that may well change your life and career prospects. Enjoy your time there as it passes very very quickly.
I would lightly advise against selecting only particular social or other circles as you pass through the course. One of the biggest benefits I have found from attending University is the opportunity to meet and mix with a very broad range of people compared to my own background or up-bringing. This has genuinely changed me as a person I think and for the better. I would describe myself as socially awkward anyway and not a natural extrovert but I have forged friendships with people I would not have otherwise met. I feel that if I shuttered myself away into a select group of mature-only students it would have hampered my progression through the course. Your peers and support network may well carry you through the tougher academic phases of any course.
Best of luck.
E.

So would you say I can join societies and enjoy that side of Uni, even if an occasional person makes a comment, most people will be more than happy to see me in the societies and I can draw great experience from it just as everyone else does?

Reply 4

cyrusmaq

Original post

by Forlornsoul

Hey there,
Not a Sheffield alum, however some general points I'd like to highlight are,

•

Yes, the majority of uni students will be under 25. And some halls / events etc will be geared towards that. But there will be plenty of alternatives which suit your style more

•

I'm not aware of whether there is any accommodation specifically for gay people in Sheffield, but there may well be

•

Long story short - there is no 'right' time or age, everyone's journey is their own, so have fun!

Thank you for your reply! Having fun is definitely something I want to do. Obviously I won’t be out on the **** every night like the young ones, hangovers are far too deadly for that at my age! But I would like to go to an occasional party and have some drinks!

Reply 5

ErasistratusV

Original post

by cyrusmaq

No one will make a comment to your face, well, at least not in my experience. You will be free to join societies and do cool stuff. There will be a sizeable mature student population, don't worry about being the only one.

Reply 6

BelindaFlamazing

There are plenty of phd students and postdocs who are all closer to your age 🙂 As well as other mature students!
I am sure you will have a great time. Joining sports clubs is the best as it tends to be more of a mix in terms of ages.

Reply 7

random_matt

You will find most mature students at mid ranking universities. My opinion anyway; there were plenty at Bangor and Kent, but **** all at Durham and Exeter. Sheffield do offer studio's, I may myself check them out in the spring.

Reply 8

ErasistratusV

Original post

by random_matt

When you say mid-ranked, in what context do you mean? I'm way out of the loop to be honest so I would have no idea which of those institutions, if any, are low, middle or highly ranked?

Reply 9

Stormgrad

Original post

by cyrusmaq

Hey,
I’m gonna be 40 next year when I finally go to to Uni (Sheffield University probably).
In worried that I’ll be too old for uni. I will have to live in student dorms first year as I’m moving away. And I would want to join some societies and try have somewhat of a uni experience, including occasionally going out for drinks with uni mates, joining societies, doing freshers (maybe not every night but a few of them!).
I’m worried that everyone’s gonna think I’m old and creepy because I’m at uni, because I’m in student dorms and because I’m at some of the social events!
Is this gonna be an issue for me? Should I just not get involved in those aspects of uni and just stick to attending the classes? Since I’m gay, I also wanted to select LGBTQ accommodation if possible too?
Anybody got any advice on these issues, especially any current Sheffield students?

I'm 38 and going to NTU in september ditching my old life and moving so in the same situation and having the same concerns

Reply 10

ErasistratusV

Original post

by Stormgrad

I'm 38 and going to NTU in september ditching my old life and moving so in the same situation and having the same concerns

Never look back. You've made this life-changing change for the better. Embrace it and grow in whatever way you like. Uni can change a person, believe me.

Reply 11

cyrusmaq

Original post

by Stormgrad

I'm 38 and going to NTU in september ditching my old life and moving so in the same situation and having the same concerns

It’s a worry isn’t it. The main worry (which has been helpfully assuaged quite a lot by the replies in this topic), is that I want to actually have a Uni experience. I want to go to societies, I want to do freshers week, I want to occasionally go to a party, even go to a nightclub and have some drinks and dancing!

I suppose I should just consider the working world we have both been in for decades. You have a mix of ages there, fresh 18 year olds arriving, people on the cusp of retirement in their 60s, and it works fine. Even with work parties etc.

Im sure we will have mature student societies etc we can join when there, and we will find a bunch of oldies like us who want to do everything, as well as younger people who we can get on well with too!

Reply 12

UoL Students

Official Rep

Original post

by cyrusmaq

Hey,
I’m gonna be 40 next year when I finally go to to Uni (Sheffield University probably).
In worried that I’ll be too old for uni. I will have to live in student dorms first year as I’m moving away. And I would want to join some societies and try have somewhat of a uni experience, including occasionally going out for drinks with uni mates, joining societies, doing freshers (maybe not every night but a few of them!).
I’m worried that everyone’s gonna think I’m old and creepy because I’m at uni, because I’m in student dorms and because I’m at some of the social events!
Is this gonna be an issue for me? Should I just not get involved in those aspects of uni and just stick to attending the classes? Since I’m gay, I also wanted to select LGBTQ accommodation if possible too?
Anybody got any advice on these issues, especially any current Sheffield students?

Hello,

It's great that you are going to be going to University and I hope you have a great time! As I always say on my campus tours, University is a place for everyone and so you shouldn't worry about being older. Outside lectures the worst which could happen is that you could be mistaken for a lecturer or PhD student! Also, anyone who thinks it's creepy arguably does not understand what University is, a place for adults to learn and research. There may also be traces of immaturity with so many of us undergraduate students coming straight out of school with limited experience of being an adult and doing everything yourself, something which gave me a bit of a shock when I started.

Firstly, it may be a good idea to see what support is available for mature students at the University. At the University of Leicester we have mature student spaces and events to help mature students meet others and be part of a community.

Secondly, if you haven't already applied for accommodation there may be an option on the form to list any preferences you may have in terms of the type of people you want to be with. Otherwise you could also contact the accommodation team directly. The only thing may be that they don't collect LGBT+ data from students so wouldn't know who else was from that community, but they may try and put you with other mature students.

I hope this helps, if you have any further questions please do let me know.

Charlie
Law LLB Student

Reply 13

Stormgrad

Original post

by cyrusmaq

It’s a worry isn’t it. The main worry (which has been helpfully assuaged quite a lot by the replies in this topic), is that I want to actually have a Uni experience. I want to go to societies, I want to do freshers week, I want to occasionally go to a party, even go to a nightclub and have some drinks and dancing!
I suppose I should just consider the working world we have both been in for decades. You have a mix of ages there, fresh 18 year olds arriving, people on the cusp of retirement in their 60s, and it works fine. Even with work parties etc.
Im sure we will have mature student societies etc we can join when there, and we will find a bunch of oldies like us who want to do everything, as well as younger people who we can get on well with too!

In my access course the class is divided into 3rds 1 third are 18-20 the 2nd is 22-25 then you have the 3rd which are 30÷ of which im the only man and eldest.

The younger ones have no clue how to behave among adults despite ostensibly being adults and claiming they be treated as such. This is worsened by the fact they are predominantly boys. It puts an immense pressure on me as the elder statesman (im also the 18+ student union rep) to show them the right way to be men not boys, how you can have a laugh but still show respect and maintain dignity.

Uni will be similar i imagine if not worse due to the fact that mature students will make up less of the group. That said larger group sizes might dilute my presence and the pressure of that social responsibility

Reply 14

ErasistratusV

Original post

by Stormgrad

In my access course the class is divided into 3rds 1 third are 18-20 the 2nd is 22-25 then you have the 3rd which are 30÷ of which im the only man and eldest.
The younger ones have no clue how to behave among adults despite ostensibly being adults and claiming they be treated as such. This is worsened by the fact they are predominantly boys. It puts an immense pressure on me as the elder statesman (im also the 18+ student union rep) to show them the right way to be men not boys, how you can have a laugh but still show respect and maintain dignity.
Uni will be similar i imagine if not worse due to the fact that mature students will make up less of the group. That said larger group sizes might dilute my presence and the pressure of that social responsibility

A lot of people are likely to not have had the up-bringing or parental input you might have had though. Wisdom and maturity is not something any of us are born with. A lot of us are from broken homes or desperately problematic family backgrounds. It's probably normal for people to go a little nuts on their first real taste of life beyond the school playground. Don't judge too harshly: looking back I was probably more than a bit of a door-handle in my youth, perhaps people think I still am despite my advancing vintage now. That being said, I've never engaged in anything illegal or anything particularly immoral and I'm the sort of person you'd be glad to have on scene if you ever desperately needed real help.

It takes time to grow into a real human being. Some years ago, one of my old bosses who was 60+ at the time told me that in reality the first 20 years of your life don't actually count. What he meant was that by the age of 21 no one can be reasonably expected to understand adulthood. He had several children of his own and was rather wealthy, but more importantly he had also had a lot of experience employing sub 25 year old folk just like me who in reality had precisely zero real-world understanding or experience beyond what was drilled into us at college or University (truth be told basically nobody took any notice even then anyway: we were far too busy having a good time). And I have now learned that what my boss was telling me was 100% right.

There are so many changes and stresses between the ages of about 15and 25 that it's extremely unlikely everyone will be truly mature by that age because you won't understand adult life. For the happy few that are, good on them, but the reality is a great deal of people have had to endure a lot of adverse 'life experiences' by that point and those take some getting over.

People often ask me why I didn't consider training to be a doctor when I was 18-21. I always tell them the same answer. The truth is that I had a adverse and unconventional upbringing that was far from ideal but which is now unfortunately becoming a lot more common that most of us realise. As a result of this by that age I had no emotional intelligence whatsoever: I was purely in survival mode. I tell them that the person I was back then would never have had the maturity much less the confidence to apply, let alone thrive there or have any realistic prospect of working as a doctor effectively. In essence it has taken me some years to mature into an actual adult. It didn't happen for me at 25 and it certainly hadn't begun to happen even at 18.

Yes, you will be a mature student, which in reality means you are in the 'people who are over 24 bracket' for University purposes. But you will still be able to participate fully in every aspect of University life and socialise with whom you wish to. A lot of mature students know how to party (and become far more inebriated) very well compared to their younger counterparts, I assure you.

Your age compared to others at University will never become an issue unless you actively try to make it one. You will blend into an entire palate of people and as I've said before that is one of the true benefits of going to University.

Reply 15

omidi

You'll definitely find a nice group of people who won't care, if I had to give some advice from the perspective of a younger person though I'd say avoid reminding them of their parents in any way, as weird as it sounds that would probably be what would put the most distance between you and the main age group.
Also bear in mind, although you'll be at Uni, that doesn't limit you to only spending time with your fellow students; once you're out of your lessons you can do whatever you want and meet other people your age

As for the accommodation, Sheffield is a big city so I'm sure you'll be able to find something, possibly not within the university itself but no doubt there will be independent ones if you look around (if you're allowed to stay off campus first year). Plus a lot of the younger gay students will enjoy the possibility of a chance with an older man lol

The film Life of the Party comes to mind. Have fun on your Melissa McCarthy journey!
Edit: someone in the same boat as you

(edited 11 months ago)

Reply 16

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

Original post

by cyrusmaq

Not specific to Sheffield, but I often link to this thread:

"Am I too old?" - the story of a 40-something student

Reply 17

BelindaFlamazing

Original post

by Admit-One

Not specific to Sheffield, but I often link to this thread:
"Am I too old?" - the story of a 40-something student

Thank you for the link! This is a wonderful post

Reply 18

PG Study Chester

Original post

by cyrusmaq

Hey,
I’m gonna be 40 next year when I finally go to to Uni (Sheffield University probably).
In worried that I’ll be too old for uni. I will have to live in student dorms first year as I’m moving away. And I would want to join some societies and try have somewhat of a uni experience, including occasionally going out for drinks with uni mates, joining societies, doing freshers (maybe not every night but a few of them!).
I’m worried that everyone’s gonna think I’m old and creepy because I’m at uni, because I’m in student dorms and because I’m at some of the social events!
Is this gonna be an issue for me? Should I just not get involved in those aspects of uni and just stick to attending the classes? Since I’m gay, I also wanted to select LGBTQ accommodation if possible too?
Anybody got any advice on these issues, especially any current Sheffield students?

Hello

Firstly well done you for starting university as a mature student and secondly but most importantly, no you are most definitely NOT too old at 40 to go to uni!
As the previous replies have said you will have lots of students younger than you at undergraduate levels, but you will also find lots of undergrads in their 40s , 50s, 60s and beyond, and especially at postgrad level, most students will be mature. I am, and I have never felt excluded because of my age.
I’m not sure about the accommodation situation at Sheffield, but I’d suggest you speak to the accommodation team who will be able to help you and give you the options that would suit you the best.
During freshers week, you will be able to talk to all the societies and clubs at the uni. At Chester, we have a mature students society and an LGBTQ, perhaps Sheffield does too, and you could start with joining these which would help you meet people. Also, you will make loads of friends on your course, so don’t worry about meeting people! I’m sure you won’t be considered ‘creepy’ for going to the social events at all, so don’t be too worried!
I hope this helps, and I really hope it all goes well at Sheffield, enjoy it!
Jess
PhD English
University of Chester

Reply 19

KazStudies

Thought I’d add my experience here. First thing, you are not too old. I’m 44, a mum of three in my first year in a biomedical science degree. I am by a long chalk the eldest person in my cohort, I have lots of the young students asking me for help and advice which is really nice. I get on really well with all my peers and they are all very respectful and I am treated like I am one of them despite the age gap. I’ve had a really good time so far with the course and am looking forward to the rest of the course. I did access to higher education science diploma last year (mostly 19 year olds with me) and one of my classmates is in my degree now. Please don’t ever feel like you are too old there are plenty of mature students at university, my lecturer told me the oldest person he taught was 98 and they finished with a first class degree. Good luck with your studies.