Tips for boosting confidence after situationships.
For reference, I am a 22-year-old female studying at University and over the last couple of months, I've gone from situationship to situationship and feel mentally drained.
My confidence has been knocked down quite a bit as I haven't been treated great by these situationships.
One of these situationships is part of the same social circle I am involved in with University so we see each other often, we are not on bad terms at all and I don't want to stop being part of these social circles, but the idea of seeing him feels me with anxiety.
Does anyone have any tips for getting my confidence back/ focusing on myself after such a harsh couple of months where my only validation was whether I was receiving male attention or not- sad and pathetic I know.
All my friends are in relationships, and I cannot talk to them about it. I feel like a failure when I discuss my love life as they are so happy and content in theirs.
Any tips/advice would be appreciated.
My confidence has been knocked down quite a bit as I haven't been treated great by these situationships.
One of these situationships is part of the same social circle I am involved in with University so we see each other often, we are not on bad terms at all and I don't want to stop being part of these social circles, but the idea of seeing him feels me with anxiety.
Does anyone have any tips for getting my confidence back/ focusing on myself after such a harsh couple of months where my only validation was whether I was receiving male attention or not- sad and pathetic I know.
All my friends are in relationships, and I cannot talk to them about it. I feel like a failure when I discuss my love life as they are so happy and content in theirs.
Any tips/advice would be appreciated.
Reply 1
Of course you can talk to your friends about this. They're your friends!
Focus on getting competent over getting confident.
Would you rather sit on the back of a motor bike with someone that was confident of someone that was competent?
You may well be competent. And you just had bad luck.
Or may you may be incompetent and got the results that you deserved. Which is OK. We all have to learn sometime. And most people learn about relationships via trial and error.
There are books you can read and youtube channels that should help with the competence. Study them and carry on practising.
Don't worry about your friends being in relationships. Most of them are with someone that they shouldn't really be with. It's just that they don't know it yet. Or they know it and have fallen into the sunken cost fallacy.
And you're not in competition with them.
You should be aiming to become a better version of yourself. More competent at the things that are important in your life.
Focus on getting competent over getting confident.
Would you rather sit on the back of a motor bike with someone that was confident of someone that was competent?
You may well be competent. And you just had bad luck.
Or may you may be incompetent and got the results that you deserved. Which is OK. We all have to learn sometime. And most people learn about relationships via trial and error.
There are books you can read and youtube channels that should help with the competence. Study them and carry on practising.
Don't worry about your friends being in relationships. Most of them are with someone that they shouldn't really be with. It's just that they don't know it yet. Or they know it and have fallen into the sunken cost fallacy.
And you're not in competition with them.
You should be aiming to become a better version of yourself. More competent at the things that are important in your life.
Reply 2
Original post
by AnonymousFor reference, I am a 22-year-old female studying at University and over the last couple of months, I've gone from situationship to situationship and feel mentally drained.
My confidence has been knocked down quite a bit as I haven't been treated great by these situationships.
One of these situationships is part of the same social circle I am involved in with University so we see each other often, we are not on bad terms at all and I don't want to stop being part of these social circles, but the idea of seeing him feels me with anxiety.
Does anyone have any tips for getting my confidence back/ focusing on myself after such a harsh couple of months where my only validation was whether I was receiving male attention or not- sad and pathetic I know.
All my friends are in relationships, and I cannot talk to them about it. I feel like a failure when I discuss my love life as they are so happy and content in theirs.
Any tips/advice would be appreciated.
My confidence has been knocked down quite a bit as I haven't been treated great by these situationships.
One of these situationships is part of the same social circle I am involved in with University so we see each other often, we are not on bad terms at all and I don't want to stop being part of these social circles, but the idea of seeing him feels me with anxiety.
Does anyone have any tips for getting my confidence back/ focusing on myself after such a harsh couple of months where my only validation was whether I was receiving male attention or not- sad and pathetic I know.
All my friends are in relationships, and I cannot talk to them about it. I feel like a failure when I discuss my love life as they are so happy and content in theirs.
Any tips/advice would be appreciated.
Been there, a situationship more than 3 months is self harm a guy clearly will know whether he wants you or not, if they string u along then they just want the company or whatever it is without the commitment.The more self love you have the higher ur standards will be and that will prevent u from low quality experiences. Building confidence takes time but in my personal experience was developed by going on solo dates,enjoying my own company doing the things i love and learning more about myself as a person. Also regarding them being in the same social club ik it might be awkward however at the end of the day its their loss and u should go if its sth u genuinely enjoy.Live ur life do what you love and truly enjoy ur university experience. Everyone at some point was the single friend it sucks but also what sucks more is being with a man that doesn’t appreciate you ur time will come trust the process
Reply 3
21
Original post
by AnonymousFor reference, I am a 22-year-old female studying at University and over the last couple of months, I've gone from situationship to situationship and feel mentally drained.
My confidence has been knocked down quite a bit as I haven't been treated great by these situationships.
One of these situationships is part of the same social circle I am involved in with University so we see each other often, we are not on bad terms at all and I don't want to stop being part of these social circles, but the idea of seeing him feels me with anxiety.
Does anyone have any tips for getting my confidence back/ focusing on myself after such a harsh couple of months where my only validation was whether I was receiving male attention or not- sad and pathetic I know.
All my friends are in relationships, and I cannot talk to them about it. I feel like a failure when I discuss my love life as they are so happy and content in theirs.
Any tips/advice would be appreciated.
My confidence has been knocked down quite a bit as I haven't been treated great by these situationships.
One of these situationships is part of the same social circle I am involved in with University so we see each other often, we are not on bad terms at all and I don't want to stop being part of these social circles, but the idea of seeing him feels me with anxiety.
Does anyone have any tips for getting my confidence back/ focusing on myself after such a harsh couple of months where my only validation was whether I was receiving male attention or not- sad and pathetic I know.
All my friends are in relationships, and I cannot talk to them about it. I feel like a failure when I discuss my love life as they are so happy and content in theirs.
Any tips/advice would be appreciated.
Tip 1) Accept that a lot of young women have terrible judgment when it comes to picking men. Most women are lied to when it comes to who’s at fault for not getting commitment and have no clue what men want in a relationship, it takes two to tango.
Tip 2) Don’t ever let a situationship go beyond 3 months. 99% of men who have not committed to you by this point never will, they don’t want you. The sooner one accepts this instead of holding out faux hope, the sooner you’ll pick a man who will commit.
Tip 3) Make your expectations clear from the start and ditch men who won’t progress to a relationship quickly.
Tip 4) Don’t give up the goods without commitment.
Tip 5) Lower your standards to something more reasonable with men. Quite often the men who put you into a situationship have options and little reason to commit to you over anybody else. Learn the difference between the studs you can get to sleep with you vs who you can actually get to commit.
For the reasons above, I tend to have little sympathy.
(edited 11 months ago)
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