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english language paper 1 q5. Pls help

ive tried to write a story. It didnt go well but id might aswell get some feedback on it to see how badly i did. Can someone give me any advice on how to make this better. I vaguely know how i can make it better but i dont know how is the thing. I've read the grade 9 examples and they're way more detailed compared to this.

Write a story about a disagreement

I felt like I was flying. My leg whipped around me at the speed of lightning; a speed I never thought I would get to. Pirouette, aerial, backflip. Pirouette, aerial…
Crack!

Sirens screamed past me.I always thought i’d never be in one of these. I watched car accidents on the side of Abbey lane, while my mother snapped at me for pointing. The faint sound of soft sirens from the silence of my room. Watching in awe and amusement as the sirens scream past me, as we waited for the green light to signal go.

Pirouette, aerial…

My eyes opened a crack and my sobbing mother appeared infront of me, her eyes shimmering before the tears came crashing down and dripped on the floor. She gazed at me with a shaking hand to her chest and mouthed “i love you”. She perches on the edge of the bed and clasps my hand. I stare at it silently. Her raven black hair cascades down her back, a feature i was always jealous of. Instead i got a head of unruly brown hair which resembled a birds nest on my best hair days.
Oh honey, your legs…your legs” she murmured, a fresh set of tears brimming in her eyes.
“Mother, I can’t dance. You know that right?” i questioned, slowly slipping my hands out of her tight grasp.
“You will dance Rachel...” The response was sharp, sinister.
This was not my dream although i had reached my best potential. I had done it to please Mother…anything to please her.
“You know i can’t, Dr Singh..”
My face went up in flames. It felt as if a war of wasps were attacking my cheek over and over. The door slams and i'm enveloped with pin-drop silence. Although gilded rays of sunshine burst through the windows to greet me, I pay them no attention. I sit up, looking at my long limbs which don’t work anymore, the white, pristine walls which will be my new home until my legs work. That’s what mother said.

A deep slumber suddenly overtakes me and I’m floating over an endless meadow, beneath a sky brushed with hues of gold and soft lavendar, as though the heaven has revealed itself. Nothing disturbs me here, my mother’s sharp angular face is nowhere to be seen. Serenity.

A figure shakes me awake and i sigh inwardly as i brace myself for another one of mother’s requests, complaints, unwanted advice or anything of the sort.
“You’re getting prosthetic legs!” she squealed and squeezed my hands so tightly i lost feeling of them. I try to smile but it comes out wobbly and broken. I blink sleep from my eyes and attempt to smile again and feel something other than disappointment.

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