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Would someone mind please marking my AQA english language, question 3, paper 2?

I'd really appreciate it! Here it is!
Fanny Fern refers to the obnoxious mosquitos in her room as evilly cunning soldiers praying on both her sanity and sleep. She described the mosquitos frequently as "the enemy", this repeated adjective enforces the dynamic Fern imagines herself to be in, as if the swarm of mosquitos were like an opposing army, enforced by the hyperbolic verb "tormentors" as if she'd been captured. She reinforces this idea by describing their entry through the window as a "nocturnal raid", the noun "raid" giving a sense of planned breaking-and-entry, making the mosquitos seem militant, or, with the adjective "nocturnal" - like a burglar stealing her sleep. This description gives the reader a sense of sympathy for Fern, imagining the mosquitos to be truly awful.

Fern describes the mosquitos in an savage, monstrous way by describing them as making a “howl of rage” when she traps them with a mosquito net. The hyperbolic bestial description presents them as threatening and capable of understanding Fern’s trap. Furthermore, the satanic and devilish description is fortified by the noun phrase “the black demons”, the colour black instead of typical red presenting them as ever fouler creatures which creates worry and unease for the readers.

The impact the mosquitos have on Fern in clear as during lines 23-30; she seems to spiral. One of two only positive emotions she has is after buying the mosquito net and managing to sleep in “blissful happiness”, the melodramatic adjective “blissful” and abstract noun “happiness” connotate complete joy and relief after having managed to escape the mosquito’s presence. The second time being after she were able to squash the insect, she “laughs hysterically”, showing the mental toll the lack of sleep has given her and the annoyance she harboured to the insect. Feeling joyous when she killed it. The reader is able to grasp the mental toll this has given her and invoke empathy.

Fern describes the negative impact the mosquitos and lack of sleep have done to her emotions. The mosquitos have made her “as nervous as a cat” – the exaggerated simile making her seem terrified of the measly mosquitos. Making her feel like a “fool” whose “landed flat on” her “dignity.” This negative metaphor and adjective present her self-deprecating and disheartened emotions that the presence of the mosquitos had brought her. The concept further lead the description of a “bleary-eyed, spotting, dismal wretch”. The tripling of syndetic list of negative adjectives and describing herself with the adjective “wench”, present her as having had a physical toll to her body due to the disruptions, as well as a mental one.

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