me and my boyfriend are arguing… pls help
so we don’t live together, we’re in our early 20s.
we call eachother and watch shows over the phone and click “play” at the same time.
at the beginning of our relationship we never had a problem doing this and we would take it in turns who chooses the movie. quite quickly i realised his taste and mine are completely opposite. he likes war films, history, and action films. The type of comedy he likes is also something i don’t. For example he likes “The office”, which i did try and watch with him and we watched a whole season until i had to admit i really didn’t enjoy it. I really don’t like any of these at all and i gave them a try like i watched a whole season and i ended up dreading us watching because i just sat there watching something i really don’t enjoy. I like drama films, reality TV, documentaries, certain thrillers etc. When he watched these with me he seemed to really enjoy them so i never thought it was an issue. we called last night and he said he wants to watch anything i like and i was being nice back and i told him we can watch what he wants to watch instead. he said “the equaliser” but it was an action film and i really didn’t want to watch those genres and i mentioned that to him. he got really annoyed and said we always choose what i want and it’s been ages since he chose. i told him i just don’t want to watch THAT type of film because i won’t enjoy it. he got annoyed and said he also doesn’t annoy what i choose but he watches it to make me happy. and then i was surprised by that. he ended the conversation with “fine we just won’t watch any films together anymore” and i just said okay and now we aren’t talking. shall i be the bigger person? who’s in the wrong?
we call eachother and watch shows over the phone and click “play” at the same time.
at the beginning of our relationship we never had a problem doing this and we would take it in turns who chooses the movie. quite quickly i realised his taste and mine are completely opposite. he likes war films, history, and action films. The type of comedy he likes is also something i don’t. For example he likes “The office”, which i did try and watch with him and we watched a whole season until i had to admit i really didn’t enjoy it. I really don’t like any of these at all and i gave them a try like i watched a whole season and i ended up dreading us watching because i just sat there watching something i really don’t enjoy. I like drama films, reality TV, documentaries, certain thrillers etc. When he watched these with me he seemed to really enjoy them so i never thought it was an issue. we called last night and he said he wants to watch anything i like and i was being nice back and i told him we can watch what he wants to watch instead. he said “the equaliser” but it was an action film and i really didn’t want to watch those genres and i mentioned that to him. he got really annoyed and said we always choose what i want and it’s been ages since he chose. i told him i just don’t want to watch THAT type of film because i won’t enjoy it. he got annoyed and said he also doesn’t annoy what i choose but he watches it to make me happy. and then i was surprised by that. he ended the conversation with “fine we just won’t watch any films together anymore” and i just said okay and now we aren’t talking. shall i be the bigger person? who’s in the wrong?
Reply 1
You do come across as hard work here :/
Tbh it's a pretty odd setup and almost certain to eventually annoy one of you. The same as couples that think it's cute to fall asleep on the phone to each other every night but eventually it's going to be a right pain in the bum.
Tbh it's a pretty odd setup and almost certain to eventually annoy one of you. The same as couples that think it's cute to fall asleep on the phone to each other every night but eventually it's going to be a right pain in the bum.
Reply 2
I’d have to agree that trying to constantly find stuff you both want to watch is bound to cause aggro.
Just pack that in and enjoy actual time together.
Just pack that in and enjoy actual time together.
Reply 3
21
Well you’re not going to get around that you have quite different tastes, unless you can agree when things are calm a compromise that works for both of you.
As to the rights and wrongs you of this particular situation, you did invite him to choose that time, so it’s not fair to then reject his choice. This said I wouldn’t say it warrants getting very annoyed. As to who apologises first you have to go with your judgement whether this is one where you want to be the bigger person, or to leave it to see if he reaches out first.
As to the rights and wrongs you of this particular situation, you did invite him to choose that time, so it’s not fair to then reject his choice. This said I wouldn’t say it warrants getting very annoyed. As to who apologises first you have to go with your judgement whether this is one where you want to be the bigger person, or to leave it to see if he reaches out first.
Reply 4
Phone him and arrange to meet in real life. With you doing something fun / enjoyable / adventurous together.
If he doesn't pick up, or refuses to meet, give him a final chance by ringing him next week and repeating the offer.
Finger pointing and apportioning blame is not a productive use of your time. Just do the best for whatever circumstances you're in at any given time.
And tolerate the faults in your romantic partner. If he has too many faults or is incompatible in a major area (taste in films is a very unimportant area) then you should dump him and get someone better.
If he doesn't pick up, or refuses to meet, give him a final chance by ringing him next week and repeating the offer.
Finger pointing and apportioning blame is not a productive use of your time. Just do the best for whatever circumstances you're in at any given time.
And tolerate the faults in your romantic partner. If he has too many faults or is incompatible in a major area (taste in films is a very unimportant area) then you should dump him and get someone better.
Reply 5
Original post
by Anonymousso we don’t live together, we’re in our early 20s.
we call eachother and watch shows over the phone and click “play” at the same time.
at the beginning of our relationship we never had a problem doing this and we would take it in turns who chooses the movie. quite quickly i realised his taste and mine are completely opposite. he likes war films, history, and action films. The type of comedy he likes is also something i don’t. For example he likes “The office”, which i did try and watch with him and we watched a whole season until i had to admit i really didn’t enjoy it. I really don’t like any of these at all and i gave them a try like i watched a whole season and i ended up dreading us watching because i just sat there watching something i really don’t enjoy. I like drama films, reality TV, documentaries, certain thrillers etc. When he watched these with me he seemed to really enjoy them so i never thought it was an issue. we called last night and he said he wants to watch anything i like and i was being nice back and i told him we can watch what he wants to watch instead. he said “the equaliser” but it was an action film and i really didn’t want to watch those genres and i mentioned that to him. he got really annoyed and said we always choose what i want and it’s been ages since he chose. i told him i just don’t want to watch THAT type of film because i won’t enjoy it. he got annoyed and said he also doesn’t annoy what i choose but he watches it to make me happy. and then i was surprised by that. he ended the conversation with “fine we just won’t watch any films together anymore” and i just said okay and now we aren’t talking. shall i be the bigger person? who’s in the wrong?
we call eachother and watch shows over the phone and click “play” at the same time.
at the beginning of our relationship we never had a problem doing this and we would take it in turns who chooses the movie. quite quickly i realised his taste and mine are completely opposite. he likes war films, history, and action films. The type of comedy he likes is also something i don’t. For example he likes “The office”, which i did try and watch with him and we watched a whole season until i had to admit i really didn’t enjoy it. I really don’t like any of these at all and i gave them a try like i watched a whole season and i ended up dreading us watching because i just sat there watching something i really don’t enjoy. I like drama films, reality TV, documentaries, certain thrillers etc. When he watched these with me he seemed to really enjoy them so i never thought it was an issue. we called last night and he said he wants to watch anything i like and i was being nice back and i told him we can watch what he wants to watch instead. he said “the equaliser” but it was an action film and i really didn’t want to watch those genres and i mentioned that to him. he got really annoyed and said we always choose what i want and it’s been ages since he chose. i told him i just don’t want to watch THAT type of film because i won’t enjoy it. he got annoyed and said he also doesn’t annoy what i choose but he watches it to make me happy. and then i was surprised by that. he ended the conversation with “fine we just won’t watch any films together anymore” and i just said okay and now we aren’t talking. shall i be the bigger person? who’s in the wrong?
Be the bigger person. Honestly , life is far far far too short. You will know what I mean in a couple of decades. Just think of it like this. 3 more times what you have lived already and you will be over 80 ?. You know how quickly the first 20 went ? Yes quickly.
Reply 6
You can't compromise because......?
It's ok to watch a movie he chooses once in a while even if you don't like it.
Get over yourself and quick.
It's ok to watch a movie he chooses once in a while even if you don't like it.
Get over yourself and quick.
Reply 7
i think u should dump him! 
🤑
🤑Reply 8
21
Original post
by Anonymousso we don’t live together, we’re in our early 20s.
we call eachother and watch shows over the phone and click “play” at the same time.
at the beginning of our relationship we never had a problem doing this and we would take it in turns who chooses the movie. quite quickly i realised his taste and mine are completely opposite. he likes war films, history, and action films. The type of comedy he likes is also something i don’t. For example he likes “The office”, which i did try and watch with him and we watched a whole season until i had to admit i really didn’t enjoy it. I really don’t like any of these at all and i gave them a try like i watched a whole season and i ended up dreading us watching because i just sat there watching something i really don’t enjoy. I like drama films, reality TV, documentaries, certain thrillers etc. When he watched these with me he seemed to really enjoy them so i never thought it was an issue. we called last night and he said he wants to watch anything i like and i was being nice back and i told him we can watch what he wants to watch instead. he said “the equaliser” but it was an action film and i really didn’t want to watch those genres and i mentioned that to him. he got really annoyed and said we always choose what i want and it’s been ages since he chose. i told him i just don’t want to watch THAT type of film because i won’t enjoy it. he got annoyed and said he also doesn’t annoy what i choose but he watches it to make me happy. and then i was surprised by that. he ended the conversation with “fine we just won’t watch any films together anymore” and i just said okay and now we aren’t talking. shall i be the bigger person? who’s in the wrong?
we call eachother and watch shows over the phone and click “play” at the same time.
at the beginning of our relationship we never had a problem doing this and we would take it in turns who chooses the movie. quite quickly i realised his taste and mine are completely opposite. he likes war films, history, and action films. The type of comedy he likes is also something i don’t. For example he likes “The office”, which i did try and watch with him and we watched a whole season until i had to admit i really didn’t enjoy it. I really don’t like any of these at all and i gave them a try like i watched a whole season and i ended up dreading us watching because i just sat there watching something i really don’t enjoy. I like drama films, reality TV, documentaries, certain thrillers etc. When he watched these with me he seemed to really enjoy them so i never thought it was an issue. we called last night and he said he wants to watch anything i like and i was being nice back and i told him we can watch what he wants to watch instead. he said “the equaliser” but it was an action film and i really didn’t want to watch those genres and i mentioned that to him. he got really annoyed and said we always choose what i want and it’s been ages since he chose. i told him i just don’t want to watch THAT type of film because i won’t enjoy it. he got annoyed and said he also doesn’t annoy what i choose but he watches it to make me happy. and then i was surprised by that. he ended the conversation with “fine we just won’t watch any films together anymore” and i just said okay and now we aren’t talking. shall i be the bigger person? who’s in the wrong?
Dunnig is correct.
You making a mountain out of a very unimportant issue.
For this particular situation, you said he could pick and you shouldn’t be suprised that he does things just to make you happy, that’s what a relationship is some of the time.
Reply 9
20
He's your boyfriend, but you've only just realised his taste in films and TV programmes? Wow, what did you talk about on dates if not a topic like that?
Just alternate on choices; his pick one week, yours the next, just once a week so you can enjoy your own genre the rest of the time. But if you're arguing then not talking over this, how are you going to manage things like finances and household responsibilities if you do live together?
Just alternate on choices; his pick one week, yours the next, just once a week so you can enjoy your own genre the rest of the time. But if you're arguing then not talking over this, how are you going to manage things like finances and household responsibilities if you do live together?
Reply 10
Original post
by Anonymousso we don’t live together, we’re in our early 20s.
we call eachother and watch shows over the phone and click “play” at the same time.
at the beginning of our relationship we never had a problem doing this and we would take it in turns who chooses the movie. quite quickly i realised his taste and mine are completely opposite. he likes war films, history, and action films. The type of comedy he likes is also something i don’t. For example he likes “The office”, which i did try and watch with him and we watched a whole season until i had to admit i really didn’t enjoy it. I really don’t like any of these at all and i gave them a try like i watched a whole season and i ended up dreading us watching because i just sat there watching something i really don’t enjoy. I like drama films, reality TV, documentaries, certain thrillers etc. When he watched these with me he seemed to really enjoy them so i never thought it was an issue. we called last night and he said he wants to watch anything i like and i was being nice back and i told him we can watch what he wants to watch instead. he said “the equaliser” but it was an action film and i really didn’t want to watch those genres and i mentioned that to him. he got really annoyed and said we always choose what i want and it’s been ages since he chose. i told him i just don’t want to watch THAT type of film because i won’t enjoy it. he got annoyed and said he also doesn’t annoy what i choose but he watches it to make me happy. and then i was surprised by that. he ended the conversation with “fine we just won’t watch any films together anymore” and i just said okay and now we aren’t talking. shall i be the bigger person? who’s in the wrong?
we call eachother and watch shows over the phone and click “play” at the same time.
at the beginning of our relationship we never had a problem doing this and we would take it in turns who chooses the movie. quite quickly i realised his taste and mine are completely opposite. he likes war films, history, and action films. The type of comedy he likes is also something i don’t. For example he likes “The office”, which i did try and watch with him and we watched a whole season until i had to admit i really didn’t enjoy it. I really don’t like any of these at all and i gave them a try like i watched a whole season and i ended up dreading us watching because i just sat there watching something i really don’t enjoy. I like drama films, reality TV, documentaries, certain thrillers etc. When he watched these with me he seemed to really enjoy them so i never thought it was an issue. we called last night and he said he wants to watch anything i like and i was being nice back and i told him we can watch what he wants to watch instead. he said “the equaliser” but it was an action film and i really didn’t want to watch those genres and i mentioned that to him. he got really annoyed and said we always choose what i want and it’s been ages since he chose. i told him i just don’t want to watch THAT type of film because i won’t enjoy it. he got annoyed and said he also doesn’t annoy what i choose but he watches it to make me happy. and then i was surprised by that. he ended the conversation with “fine we just won’t watch any films together anymore” and i just said okay and now we aren’t talking. shall i be the bigger person? who’s in the wrong?
Relationships require compromise and you have to do things that you are not necessarily 100% onboard with. As he mentioned, some of your choices have probably been mind-numbingly boring, but he watched them because of you. You have to do the same for him.
If you are not ready for a proper relationship, end it and allow him to find a woman who is ready for one. Good luck
Reply 11
Is it really that hard to find something you both like? My husband and I have different tastes but we have a selection of things we both like that we watch over and over again just because we both like them, try out something different, something neither of you have seen before and give it a chance, if you don't like it you don't have to watch it again. Netlix and Prime are a hive of different films and tv shows.
To give you a bit of inspo I will list a few so the films/tv shows that we both like:
Harry Potter (all of them but mostly watch the first 3)
Hot Fuzz
Dogma
The Vicar of Dibley
Psych
The Big Bang Theory
The Princess Bride ( my all-time favourite film)
Sharpe
Star Wars (again all of them)
The Game Plan
Virgin River
To give you a bit of inspo I will list a few so the films/tv shows that we both like:
Harry Potter (all of them but mostly watch the first 3)
Hot Fuzz
Dogma
The Vicar of Dibley
Psych
The Big Bang Theory
The Princess Bride ( my all-time favourite film)
Sharpe
Star Wars (again all of them)
The Game Plan
Virgin River
(edited 11 months ago)
Reply 12
Original post
by hippieglitterIs it really that hard to find something you both like? My husband and I have different tastes but we have a selection of things we both like that we watch over and over again just because we both like them, try out something different, something neither of you have seen before and give it a chance, if you don't like it you don't have to watch it again. Netlix and Prime are a hive of different films and tv shows.
To give you a bit of inspo I will list a few so the films/tv shows that we both like:
Harry Potter (all of them but mostly watch the first 3)
Hot Fuzz
Dogma
The Vicar of Dibley
Psych
The Big Bang Theory
The Princess Bride ( my all-time favourite film)
Sharpe
Star Wars (again all of them)
The Game Plan
Virgin River
To give you a bit of inspo I will list a few so the films/tv shows that we both like:
Harry Potter (all of them but mostly watch the first 3)
Hot Fuzz
Dogma
The Vicar of Dibley
Psych
The Big Bang Theory
The Princess Bride ( my all-time favourite film)
Sharpe
Star Wars (again all of them)
The Game Plan
Virgin River
I don't know if It's so much they cant think of films or shows they like, more that they're pressuring each other to watch them remotely on a schedule and I think that's inevitably going to cause tension.
Putting up with a show I wasn't keen on while with my partner is one thing, but if I was sitting in my own house having to watch things I didn't want to because they were watching it at their house and thought it was cute... yeah I'd be a bit annoyed. who wouldn't eventually?
Reply 13
Original post
by Anonymousso we don’t live together, we’re in our early 20s.
we call eachother and watch shows over the phone and click “play” at the same time.
at the beginning of our relationship we never had a problem doing this and we would take it in turns who chooses the movie. quite quickly i realised his taste and mine are completely opposite. he likes war films, history, and action films. The type of comedy he likes is also something i don’t. For example he likes “The office”, which i did try and watch with him and we watched a whole season until i had to admit i really didn’t enjoy it. I really don’t like any of these at all and i gave them a try like i watched a whole season and i ended up dreading us watching because i just sat there watching something i really don’t enjoy. I like drama films, reality TV, documentaries, certain thrillers etc. When he watched these with me he seemed to really enjoy them so i never thought it was an issue. we called last night and he said he wants to watch anything i like and i was being nice back and i told him we can watch what he wants to watch instead. he said “the equaliser” but it was an action film and i really didn’t want to watch those genres and i mentioned that to him. he got really annoyed and said we always choose what i want and it’s been ages since he chose. i told him i just don’t want to watch THAT type of film because i won’t enjoy it. he got annoyed and said he also doesn’t annoy what i choose but he watches it to make me happy. and then i was surprised by that. he ended the conversation with “fine we just won’t watch any films together anymore” and i just said okay and now we aren’t talking. shall i be the bigger person? who’s in the wrong?
we call eachother and watch shows over the phone and click “play” at the same time.
at the beginning of our relationship we never had a problem doing this and we would take it in turns who chooses the movie. quite quickly i realised his taste and mine are completely opposite. he likes war films, history, and action films. The type of comedy he likes is also something i don’t. For example he likes “The office”, which i did try and watch with him and we watched a whole season until i had to admit i really didn’t enjoy it. I really don’t like any of these at all and i gave them a try like i watched a whole season and i ended up dreading us watching because i just sat there watching something i really don’t enjoy. I like drama films, reality TV, documentaries, certain thrillers etc. When he watched these with me he seemed to really enjoy them so i never thought it was an issue. we called last night and he said he wants to watch anything i like and i was being nice back and i told him we can watch what he wants to watch instead. he said “the equaliser” but it was an action film and i really didn’t want to watch those genres and i mentioned that to him. he got really annoyed and said we always choose what i want and it’s been ages since he chose. i told him i just don’t want to watch THAT type of film because i won’t enjoy it. he got annoyed and said he also doesn’t annoy what i choose but he watches it to make me happy. and then i was surprised by that. he ended the conversation with “fine we just won’t watch any films together anymore” and i just said okay and now we aren’t talking. shall i be the bigger person? who’s in the wrong?
Icl you saying “we can watch want he wants to watch” then not wanting to watch what he picks would be pretty annoying😭 but tbh I think if a relationship was meaningful enough your taste in films shouldn't matter! Maybe try and find an activity you both enjoy like gaming or something
Reply 14
Original post
by StriderHortI don't know if It's so much they cant think of films or shows they like, more that they're pressuring each other to watch them remotely on a schedule and I think that's inevitably going to cause tension.
Putting up with a show I wasn't keen on while with my partner is one thing, but if I was sitting in my own house having to watch things I didn't want to because they were watching it at their house and thought it was cute... yeah I'd be a bit annoyed. who wouldn't eventually?
Putting up with a show I wasn't keen on while with my partner is one thing, but if I was sitting in my own house having to watch things I didn't want to because they were watching it at their house and thought it was cute... yeah I'd be a bit annoyed. who wouldn't eventually?
Ok, i guess it makes little sense to me cos i never did that. Before we lived together we did our own thing when the other wasn't around but we still spent most nights together.
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