I’ve grown up with the deeply ingrained belief that I’m unattractive, boring, and lacking personality. I’m 18 now, and I’ve held onto this mindset for as long as I can remember. Recently, though, I’ve started receiving male attention for the first time, and I’m struggling to navigate it because it’s so unfamiliar.
I still feel unattractive, which makes me uncomfortable in these situations, often to the point where I just want to run away. I can’t tell if someone is genuinely kind and interested in me or if they have creepy or ulterior motives. This uncertainty leaves me feeling awkward and uneasy.
When I stay in these situations, I sometimes feel used, as if they don’t see me as a person but as a means to an end. I often question their intentions, wondering if it’s a joke, a dare, or something insincere, or if there’s something wrong with them for wanting to spend time with me.
I’m also unsure of what’s considered safe or unsafe. Most of the time, these men are strangers who just approach me, and I don’t know how to tell if they’re being honest or manipulative. How can I figure out if someone’s genuine, and what can I do to feel more confident in handling these situations? I also then worry that maybe these men are not attractive or have been turned down by every single other girl which is why they are resorting to me. I also feel super uncomfortable meeting people who are outwardly interested in me sexually/want more - I am only ever comfortable with someone if I know them as a friend first and then we hang out etc take it super slow and then they slowly flirt and after a while the dynamic changes. But this never happens and its always only people who I don't know who are interested in me and I am not attracted to them but really want to experience teenage love. I'm just really naiive have no experience and I am far too kind to people, I put myself at personal harm or risk to make other people happy and not to disappoint them so I am worried this may get dangerous for me. Please help me!!!!!! I can't tell if I self-sabotage any potential love or romance by deciding its unsafe or creepy or if I am really just being realistic.