Islamic Marriage Advice (Muslim Brothers and Sisters)

You have waited 3 years very patiently. What if this girl really does not wish to marry you but has been trying to help you save face by delaying events because of this? Would you able to cope with the rejection if this was the case? You are very young so be so sure? She might not be so sure. Gain life experience, travel far and wide across the world and meet as many people as you possibly can. Then choose wisely with your heart.

I acknowledge the fact I’ve waited 3 years. Although knowing each other and for who she is I genuinely believe she would not be the type to do that and would have made things clear and aware about marriage and sharing a future together when we first met each other at work. If ever there was rejection, other than her it would be hard for me to even think about marriage again personally especially considering time. I know I am young yet I turn 25 in December and I have ambitions to be gifted a family of my own, Anyways she’d have turned 23 by the time I’m 25. One of the things she said she wants to do after marriage is be able to travel and explore. Although it’s her my heart is intent on.

Salaam Brothers and Sisters,
I am 24 years old. A graduate with a degree in Computing and I made my mother aware of my intention to marry a girl who I first met at work and have waited for patiently ever since for the past 3 years in respect to her parents wishes in completing her degree at University. I was hoping to go to meet her parents after Ramadan at some point in the summer when her education would have been completed by then anyways to ask for her hand to marriage although the advice I would like is, 20 months since graduating from university I have struggled to find my postgraduate job, so how would I prove to themselves about being stable and being able to provide because at this current moment in time working in retail certainly doesn’t help meet that. Also driving whilst I have a degree and a form of educational background to show in regards to driving due to my medical condition epilepsy it has been stop and start although that is something I was wanting to hope work towards and have done and ready before the end of the year. Whilst I have been patient enough in waiting 3 and a half years, I have spoken to the girl before about this but afterwards we both want to have our Nikkah done so that we can focus on settling down I don’t want to personally go through another year of a wait because personally, emotionally and mentally it’s been challenging whilst I can wait for her and as long as it takes I still can’t wait and wish to have my Nikkah done as soon as especially since I am working extra hours and I will put everything towards the Nikkah expenses wise.
Thank you very much and I appreciate all the advice Brothers and Sisters.

'..I have struggled to find my postgraduate job, so how would I prove to themselves about being stable and being able to provide..'
So you want to marry this girl but you are not financially stable? Does the girl want to marry you and commit despite knowing all this? If yes, talk to her parents. Talk to them about your long-term goals on how you plan to achieve financial stability. Assure them that you will be able to provide for their daughter in the near future.
I hope you know that when you marry her, islamically speaking it is your responsibility to be able to provide for her. Start looking for a job, and pray to Allah. Inshallah if your intent is right, you work hard and have faith in Allah you will be able to accomplish all this.

Salaam sister. Whilst I may not be financial stable I am making a healthy amount of money alhumdulliah and thank you to Allah the almighty and all merciful which I can therefore be able to provide for my siblings and my mum. Yes the girl still wants to marry me and commit knowing this although just stressing the importance of having a stabler role would be greatly beneficial. I am aware the husband duty is providing to his wife, and at this present moment in time whilst doing lots of Duaa and practicing and preparing for a 2nd phase Interview for my Graduate Role. I am doing everything in my power to be able to attain it. In Sha Allah may I also pass my 2nd phase and then that’ll be the path towards stability as I have what I rightfully waited for and went through a lot of challenges and hardship for especially.

If you both love each other you can usually transcend any of life's difficulties. Life can be difficult or uncomfortable but even living a box is bearable if you both share the same goals. The girl you have eyes for might be financially stable in her own right too. If ever you face financial difficulty she could maintain the family on her income. That is the benefit of sharing responsibilities. It takes courage to go against the tide of entrenched views but a new perspective on a young set of shoulders can also persuade older generations. It is not dismissing all of your values, but doing what is right for both of you.