The Student Room Group

i hate university and wish i'd never gone.

hello everyone, I'm a first year uni student at the university of lincoln and im hating every second of it.
i got 3 a stars in my a levels and couldve gone anywhere i wanted, but because im severely depressed and get extremely nervous away from my house, i decided to commute everyday as i live 15 minutes away from the uni.

the past few months have made me the loneliest ive ever felt. i don't have a single friend at uni or in general. im not sure if this is because i dont commute or if its because i dont like partying, as theres such an insane drinking culture at uni. i hate seeing people i went to school with enjoying themselves whilst im hating every second. i have cried more times than i can count at uni, and dont enjoy the course either.

the course is incredibly boring, its basically everything i did during a levels just with less help. The lecturers dont help at all with assignments or work in general, and because of this im receiving the worst grades ive ever got since i started school. i have no passion for the subject of my course, and just picked it because its what i was good at during school.

i dont know what to do, i dont want to drop out because i'll feel like a disappointment to my parents and feel further behind in life than i already feel.

Scroll to see replies

do you know what you DO want to study?
do you think you'd be happier living in halls at a different university?

All first year degrees will feel like you're repeating some A level content. Students start degrees with a huge range of qualifications and subject backgrounds and so the first year is designed to make sure that everyone has a good grasp of the basic concepts before second year when marks start to contribute to degree classifications.
I'm sorry you're feeling like this. If I were you I'd drop out. You need to remember that you don't live through your parents, you live for yourself. You're happiness is important and you only have one life to live so live it! Mental health is just as important than your overall well-being. Don't feel pressured to carry on. Cause you'll eventually burn out which is mentally draining.
Reply 3
do you know what you DO want to study?
do you think you'd be happier living in halls at a different university?
All first year degrees will feel like you're repeating some A level content. Students start degrees with a huge range of qualifications and subject backgrounds and so the first year is designed to make sure that everyone has a good grasp of the basic concepts before second year when marks start to contribute to degree classifications.

no i have no idea. im not sure if its because of my depression but i genuinely dont like anything.
Original post by Anonymous
no i have no idea. im not sure if its because of my depression but i genuinely dont like anything.


Have you asked Lincoln if they could fit you into halls to try that out for the rest of the year to see if it helps socially?

Are you being treated for your depression?
Original post by Anonymous
hello everyone, I'm a first year uni student at the university of lincoln and im hating every second of it.
i got 3 a stars in my a levels and couldve gone anywhere i wanted, but because im severely depressed and get extremely nervous away from my house, i decided to commute everyday as i live 15 minutes away from the uni.
the past few months have made me the loneliest ive ever felt. i don't have a single friend at uni or in general. im not sure if this is because i dont commute or if its because i dont like partying, as theres such an insane drinking culture at uni. i hate seeing people i went to school with enjoying themselves whilst im hating every second. i have cried more times than i can count at uni, and dont enjoy the course either.
the course is incredibly boring, its basically everything i did during a levels just with less help. The lecturers dont help at all with assignments or work in general, and because of this im receiving the worst grades ive ever got since i started school. i have no passion for the subject of my course, and just picked it because its what i was good at during school.
i dont know what to do, i dont want to drop out because i'll feel like a disappointment to my parents and feel further behind in life than i already feel.

Sounds like you might be better suited to a small, tight-knit campus university such as Durham, St Andrews or Royal Holloway, to name but a few.

Antidepressants help to significantly reduce clinical depression, plus anti-anxiety medication also works really well.
Original post by Anonymous
hello everyone, I'm a first year uni student at the university of lincoln and im hating every second of it.
i got 3 a stars in my a levels and couldve gone anywhere i wanted, but because im severely depressed and get extremely nervous away from my house, i decided to commute everyday as i live 15 minutes away from the uni.
the past few months have made me the loneliest ive ever felt. i don't have a single friend at uni or in general. im not sure if this is because i dont commute or if its because i dont like partying, as theres such an insane drinking culture at uni. i hate seeing people i went to school with enjoying themselves whilst im hating every second. i have cried more times than i can count at uni, and dont enjoy the course either.
the course is incredibly boring, its basically everything i did during a levels just with less help. The lecturers dont help at all with assignments or work in general, and because of this im receiving the worst grades ive ever got since i started school. i have no passion for the subject of my course, and just picked it because its what i was good at during school.
i dont know what to do, i dont want to drop out because i'll feel like a disappointment to my parents and feel further behind in life than i already feel.

Hi there,

I am sorry that you have been going through this this year, it sounds like you have been having a really tough time.

I would say that you have a few options of what to do, so try not to feel too worried about your options.

You could have a look into changing your course if you think that this might be the problem? I am sure there will be other courses that you might like the sound of so you could always think about changing course so that you enjoy your experience a little bit more.
Or, you could think about transferring universities? It may be that the uni you are going to is part of the problem for you so you could have a look into other universities. It may help you if you move into halls as this way you may make some more friends which might help?

Or, you could stay at Lincoln and if so, you could look into moving into accommodation in Lincoln? This might help you out with some of how you are feeling so it might be worth looking into at least.
If you do stay in Lincoln, these are some of the tips that I have in terms of making friends as this might help you to enjoy your experience a little bit more.

1.

Join a society! These are great ways of meeting lots of new people and making new friends so I would always recommend doing this and joining one. Have a look at least and see if there are any that you like the sound of at your uni as it may help.


1.

Have a look on social media. On Facebook there are often groups for different universities so have a look at this and see if there are any that you could join as this is a good way of meeting people and it can feel less daunting than taking to people face to face.


1.

See if your Student Union puts any events on as these can also be good ways of meeting new people! Often the SU will put different things on for students so it is worth having a look at these.



However, if you decide that Uni is not for you this is completely fine. Don't worry about letting your parents down as they will want you to be happy and at the end of the day, your mental health comes first so do not worry about this. You have to do what is best for you and there will be other things that you can do! Have a look at apprenticeships or just other that you can do.

I hope some of this helps,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.
Same I hated it after 2nd year when I lost them fake friends..I graduated but I didn't go to my graduation
im so sorry youre going through this, i feel you deeply because even though im just in school right now, i have the exact same problems. i hope to be better in uni and wish you the same x
do you know what you DO want to study?
do you think you'd be happier living in halls at a different university?
All first year degrees will feel like you're repeating some A level content. Students start degrees with a huge range of qualifications and subject backgrounds and so the first year is designed to make sure that everyone has a good grasp of the basic concepts before second year when marks start to contribute to degree classifications.

Not all degrees repeat A level content. The OP's problem may stem at least partly from choosing a university with academic standards insufficiently demanding for the OP's ability.

OP, why not leave and apply to a more competitive university?
(edited 3 weeks ago)
Original post by Stiffy Byng
Not all degrees repeat A level content. The OP's problem may stem at least partly from choosing a university with academic standards insufficiently demanding for the OP's ability.
OP, why not leave and apply to a more competitive university?

i cant move out because im too depressed, i dont like being away from my house and would probably be even more overwhelmed.
Original post by Anonymous
i cant move out because im too depressed, i dont like being away from my house and would probably be even more overwhelmed.

I suggest that you leave university, focus on recovering your health, and apply to another university when you are in a better place.
Original post by Anonymous
i cant move out because im too depressed, i dont like being away from my house and would probably be even more overwhelmed.

Hi OP,

@Stiffy Byng 's advice I think is spot on. It sounds like you've been going through a very difficult time for awhile and I would suggest taking some time to focus on yourself and recovering your mental health. Have you spoken to your GP about your depression and anxiety?

It sounds like you're neither enjoying the uni you are at or what you're studying, and so perhaps taking some time to get yourself into a better place, re-evaluating your goals and interests and then reapplying to a uni with entry requirements better matched to your abilities and preferences would be a good option. If you are overwhelmed by large cities then maybe even check out Bath's courses, because its a much smaller, cosier city and uni than Lincoln.

Perhaps when you are feeling better generally you may feel differently about living in halls or joining new societies, or putting yourself out there to meet people, but the first step is to focus on your mental recovery.

I hope this is of some help and I'm sorry to hear you've had to go through this - please rest assured that you can 100% have a great experience at uni if you are in the right headspace.

Holly
University of Bath
Original post by University of Bath
Hi OP,
@Stiffy Byng 's advice I think is spot on. It sounds like you've been going through a very difficult time for awhile and I would suggest taking some time to focus on yourself and recovering your mental health. Have you spoken to your GP about your depression and anxiety?
It sounds like you're neither enjoying the uni you are at or what you're studying, and so perhaps taking some time to get yourself into a better place, re-evaluating your goals and interests and then reapplying to a uni with entry requirements better matched to your abilities and preferences would be a good option. If you are overwhelmed by large cities then maybe even check out Bath's courses, because its a much smaller, cosier city and uni than Lincoln.
Perhaps when you are feeling better generally you may feel differently about living in halls or joining new societies, or putting yourself out there to meet people, but the first step is to focus on your mental recovery.
I hope this is of some help and I'm sorry to hear you've had to go through this - please rest assured that you can 100% have a great experience at uni if you are in the right headspace.
Holly
University of Bath

That is good advice. OP, once you are feeling better, you could look at several universities, Bath included, where you would be more stimulated by the academic challenges and would be among a peer group who are of similar ability to you. It is fun to be intellectually stretched, and fun to work and socialise alongside other students who are bright and curious.

Depression is a treatable illness, and you can recover from it with medical help. Exercise and social interaction are useful counters to depression along with medical interventions.

Take your time. You could apply for a 2025 start or (maybe better) give yourself more time and aim to re-start at another university in 2026. There is a lot that you could do in the interim to restore your health and have useful experiences (work, travel, short study courses in the UK or abroad, and so on). Good luck!
I would recommend that you don’t burn your bridges while you’re struggling with mental illness. Don’t withdraw from your current course, suspend your studies and take a break. That leaves you with the option to return to your current course if you realise that your depression was clouding your judgement.
I would recommend that you don’t burn your bridges while you’re struggling with mental illness. Don’t withdraw from your current course, suspend your studies and take a break. That leaves you with the option to return to your current course if you realise that your depression was clouding your judgement.

I would usually agree with that, but the university and course may be part of the problem in this case. The OP is a three A star student who, in a parallel universe, might be at Cambridge by now, but who is at an undistinguished university, where the course is too basic to stimulate or challenge the OP intellectually. The OP is bored by the course, and would probably be bored even if he or she were mentally fine.

Student partying is great, but not if the university is all about partying and not about learning. It also helps a person's social world and therefore their wellbeing to be among peers who have a similar level of intellectual engagement with academic study and the wider world.

An academically challenging university can of course impose its own challenges to a person's wellbeing, but the OP might be a lot better off if he or she can improve his or her mental health away from university and then go to another university that would better suit his or her ability.
(edited 3 weeks ago)
Original post by Anonymous
hello everyone, I'm a first year uni student at the university of lincoln and im hating every second of it.
i got 3 a stars in my a levels and couldve gone anywhere i wanted, but because im severely depressed and get extremely nervous away from my house, i decided to commute everyday as i live 15 minutes away from the uni.

the past few months have made me the loneliest ive ever felt. i don't have a single friend at uni or in general. im not sure if this is because i dont commute or if its because i dont like partying, as theres such an insane drinking culture at uni. i hate seeing people i went to school with enjoying themselves whilst im hating every second. i have cried more times than i can count at uni, and dont enjoy the course either.

the course is incredibly boring, its basically everything i did during a levels just with less help. The lecturers dont help at all with assignments or work in general, and because of this im receiving the worst grades ive ever got since i started school. i have no passion for the subject of my course, and just picked it because its what i was good at during school.

i dont know what to do, i dont want to drop out because i'll feel like a disappointment to my parents and feel further behind in life than i already feel.


I’ve be there chap. I think you should drop out university isn’t for everyone I went at 19 and hated every second too I dropped out just after Christmas (not last Christmas). I called my parents and told them although they were working at the Excel and they came and collected me that night (all the way from (East London to Portsmouth to Reading.). I had never felt more relieved and you know what they couldn’t have been more supportive your parents probably know that your unhappy and hopefully will support your decision. Make sure you have a plan. There are loads of jobs that pay quite well even without a degree for instance an airline pilot can start at £64,000 (BA) an experienced Captain can earn in excess of £100,000 a year you don’t have to become a pilot that’s just an example. A quick google search brings up this site that might help you out https://uk.indeed.com/career-advice/finding-a-job/jobs-that-dont-require-a-degree. I really wish you the best of luck do update and let us know what you decide.

I Ended up. Going to uni and graduating as a mature student the uni is always there you don’t have to go at 18 . Ou can PM me if you’d like asi I say I’ve been there. Although I didn’t have a mental health problems.
(edited 3 weeks ago)
Original post by Stiffy Byng
I would usually agree with that, but the university and course may be part of the problem in this case. The OP is a three A star student who, in a parallel universe, might be at Cambridge by now, but who is at an undistinguished university, where the course is too basic to stimulate or challenge the OP intellectually. The OP is bored by the course, and would probably be bored even if he or she were mentally fine.
Student partying is great, but not if the university is all about partying and not about learning. It also helps a person's social world and therefore their wellbeing to be among peers who have a similar level of intellectual engagement with academic study and the wider world.
An academically challenging university can of course impose its own challenges to a person's wellbeing, but the OP might be a lot better off if he or she can improve his or her mental health away from university and then go to another university that would better suit his or her ability.


i’ve decided to stay at home at least for this year. i might decide to move to another uni next year but i doubt it. i know ill regret going to lincoln when im older but my mental health is too bad to go anywhere else 🥲
Original post by Anonymous
i’ve decided to stay at home at least for this year. i might decide to move to another uni next year but i doubt it. i know ill regret going to lincoln when im older but my mental health is too bad to go anywhere else 🥲


Are you being treated for your mental illness or are you just hoping it will get better without treatment?
Are you being treated for your mental illness or are you just hoping it will get better without treatment?


i have a therapist that’s it really

Quick Reply