The Student Room Group

Help with friendgroups (at a girl school)

This is gonna be a long rant so if you want skip to the last few paragraphs. I'm in year 10 rn and I feel like I haven't been able to make friends since year 7. I was the only one to come from my primary school to this high school and to top it off I live far away.

I made friends in year 7, but at the end of year 7 I realised it was really toxic and my best friend and I argued 24/7 and she kinda only wanted to be my friend until the end of year exams when she dropped me. The rest of my friends dropped me when she did too, that's when I realised they weren't my real friends.

Year 8 I start off a bit lonely but I actaully make a friendgroup of 6 or 7 girls and I had the best time with them, but I only really knew 3 of them well and the others I didn't know so well. Turns out my best friends from that friend group are leaving and I have one more best friend but everyone else started drifting away after my best freinds left at the start of Year 9.

I had my best friend and we made a friend group with this other girl and it was all going well too, but during summer term of year 9 me and my bff started drifting apart and hanging out with other people, she started ignoring me and I had no idea what I had even done to her. That's when we stopped being friends and I confronted her about our problems, I think I realised some people aren't meant to be friends forever and our friendship had run it's course.

Now I'm in year 10 and the other girl from our year 9 friend group is my best friend and we get on great. We have a friend group with another girl who we are now best friends with. It's just the three of us, sometimes four or five when our mutual friends hang out with us, but I really messed up with my best friends because I pranked them saying I have a boyfriend. I was just trying to have a bit of fun and I made some stories up with my fake 'boyfriend' but 'broke up with him' before things got too out of hand. They realised I was pranking them but they took it more like I was lying when I just pranked them. I thought they would just take it as a joke when I told them but they told me they don't know if they can trust me anymore.

I feel like I either mess up all my friendships or I pick really crappy people to be friends with. I feel like I'm cursed with friendship, year 7 I lost everyone bc they were toxic, Year 8 I had everyone but the most important people left to go somewhere else and our friend group fell apart, year 9 my best friend and I realised we aren't really good friends towards each other and stopped being friends at all and now in year 10 my friends can't seem to trust me after a stupid prank I did. I wish i never did it. I feel like maybe I self sabotaged but I'm not sure what to do now? I just wanted friends in high school and I feel like every year I have to start fresh. I apologised to my friends but I have no idea what they're thinking now. I think I might have to start new for the millionth time, but I have no idea where to start making friends.

I'm a socially anxious 15 yr old girl who is unpopular and a nerd with probably no friends after this prank incident. How do I make more friends? I just want one year where I could not stress about whether I will have friends after summer holidays and I feel really lonely. I messed up but I have to make it up to them and I feel awful. Anyone have some tips on whether I'm cursed or just really stupid/unlucky??? My mental health has been going down the drain since year 7 and school teachers and counsellors don't help. I tell my family but there is only so much they can do.
Original post by fluffy_fish
This is gonna be a long rant so if you want skip to the last few paragraphs. I'm in year 10 rn and I feel like I haven't been able to make friends since year 7. I was the only one to come from my primary school to this high school and to top it off I live far away.

I made friends in year 7, but at the end of year 7 I realised it was really toxic and my best friend and I argued 24/7 and she kinda only wanted to be my friend until the end of year exams when she dropped me. The rest of my friends dropped me when she did too, that's when I realised they weren't my real friends.

Year 8 I start off a bit lonely but I actaully make a friendgroup of 6 or 7 girls and I had the best time with them, but I only really knew 3 of them well and the others I didn't know so well. Turns out my best friends from that friend group are leaving and I have one more best friend but everyone else started drifting away after my best freinds left at the start of Year 9.

I had my best friend and we made a friend group with this other girl and it was all going well too, but during summer term of year 9 me and my bff started drifting apart and hanging out with other people, she started ignoring me and I had no idea what I had even done to her. That's when we stopped being friends and I confronted her about our problems, I think I realised some people aren't meant to be friends forever and our friendship had run it's course.

Now I'm in year 10 and the other girl from our year 9 friend group is my best friend and we get on great. We have a friend group with another girl who we are now best friends with. It's just the three of us, sometimes four or five when our mutual friends hang out with us, but I really messed up with my best friends because I pranked them saying I have a boyfriend. I was just trying to have a bit of fun and I made some stories up with my fake 'boyfriend' but 'broke up with him' before things got too out of hand. They realised I was pranking them but they took it more like I was lying when I just pranked them. I thought they would just take it as a joke when I told them but they told me they don't know if they can trust me anymore.

I feel like I either mess up all my friendships or I pick really crappy people to be friends with. I feel like I'm cursed with friendship, year 7 I lost everyone bc they were toxic, Year 8 I had everyone but the most important people left to go somewhere else and our friend group fell apart, year 9 my best friend and I realised we aren't really good friends towards each other and stopped being friends at all and now in year 10 my friends can't seem to trust me after a stupid prank I did. I wish i never did it. I feel like maybe I self sabotaged but I'm not sure what to do now? I just wanted friends in high school and I feel like every year I have to start fresh. I apologised to my friends but I have no idea what they're thinking now. I think I might have to start new for the millionth time, but I have no idea where to start making friends.

I'm a socially anxious 15 yr old girl who is unpopular and a nerd with probably no friends after this prank incident. How do I make more friends? I just want one year where I could not stress about whether I will have friends after summer holidays and I feel really lonely. I messed up but I have to make it up to them and I feel awful. Anyone have some tips on whether I'm cursed or just really stupid/unlucky??? My mental health has been going down the drain since year 7 and school teachers and counsellors don't help. I tell my family but there is only so much they can do.

Having read this there are absolutely similarities to my school experience (I went to an all girls school, and really struggled to make friends). I found the best way for me to make friends was to engage in my hobbies and be myself - I play a musical instrument so I was part of my school's orchestra and I did GCSE music (which is where I met my best friend - we're friends four years later).

Lying to your friends wasn't a good decision (even if you see it as just a prank), because they may see you as dishonest now. Do you find that most people have a set of social rules that seem impossible to wrap your head around? I felt that and it turns out I am neurodivergent and getting appropriate support was also very beneficial for me.
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Original post by flowersinmyhair
Having read this there are absolutely similarities to my school experience (I went to an all girls school, and really struggled to make friends). I found the best way for me to make friends was to engage in my hobbies and be myself - I play a musical instrument so I was part of my school's orchestra and I did GCSE music (which is where I met my best friend - we're friends four years later).
Lying to your friends wasn't a good decision (even if you see it as just a prank), because they may see you as dishonest now. Do you find that most people have a set of social rules that seem impossible to wrap your head around? I felt that and it turns out I am neurodivergent and getting appropriate support was also very beneficial for me.

Thanks for the help I've been thinking I have ADHD for a while now and have been on the wait list too but since I don't know for sure I can't say I'm neurodivergent. This really helped and made me feel reassured

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