Feel like I made the wrong choice
I've just started my second term at Lanc uni and I'm beginning to think I made the wrong choice.
Firstly, I don't think I chose the wrong course, I really enjoy all my modules (and one plus of this uni is that you can choose extra modules outside of your major). But I'm also not sure how challenged I feel by it all? It's not something that would make me drop out on its own but added to everything else I think it just all adds up.
Secondly (and kind of the most important one), I have literally no friends here and am feeling incredibly lonely and isolated. I have no friends on my course (which I could live with), but I also have no friends in general. It seemed like I made a friend in the first term and we would hang out and go clubbing in the evening together but now they've made new friends and completely blown me off. I also have no friends in my accommodation, whilst every other person that lives with me are all in a very tight knit friend group. It's not that they're mean people or anything I think they are all just very similar to each other and completely different to me. The thing is that I'm a bit of a quiet and awkward person when it comes down to it, and I've struggled with anxiety in the past - so now I'm too anxious to spend time in the shared spaces in my flat, even to cook proper meals, because my flatmates are often there and they are all very loud people (imagine popular people in high school lol). So I don't talk to anyone, no one in my flat acknowledges me, and i'm completely missing out on uni social life. I joined several societies as soon as I could in the first time like everyone recommends and went out of my way to talk to and reach out to new people, but it felt like everyone already had mates, or just didn't want to be friends with me so all of them dried up.
I think also I just chose the wrong location of uni? I come from a small village and the closest city is a bit of a shithole, so I really wanted to move away to somewhere with a completely different atmosphere. I was completely focused on the campus tho and didn't even visit Lancaster itself when I came to the open day and basically its a bit nothing-y. It's just all really adding up to make me feel more lonely I think.
Basically, I'm considering re-applying to a new uni next year but its obvs a huge decision and my parents aren't even aware I'm having a **** time yet bc I don't have the heart to tell them, so I don't wanna break the news to them until I'm certain I want to start considering my other options. Another huge issue is money, because my loan isn't a lot and I was only able to pay it this year because I had money from relatives that I wouldn't have if I started over. Also I'm well aware that there is no guarantee I would have any different kind of an experience at a new uni bc obviously I'm still gonna be me and it's not like I'll just magically make friends but I'm just not sure if this uni on the whole was the best choice. I'm just very unhappy where I am right now but I dont really want to just wallow in it so I wanna change things if i can
Anyway ik this is kind of long but if anyone actually read allat I would really appreciate any kind of thoughts from people who have been/are in a similar position. Did re-applying at a new uni make anything better/worse? If I go thru all of uni without managing to make friends will I get used to it and still have a good time on my course? And also did anyone else feel like they'd just chosen the wrong location for uni? (if i did reapply im thinking of looking at city rather than campus unis)
Firstly, I don't think I chose the wrong course, I really enjoy all my modules (and one plus of this uni is that you can choose extra modules outside of your major). But I'm also not sure how challenged I feel by it all? It's not something that would make me drop out on its own but added to everything else I think it just all adds up.
Secondly (and kind of the most important one), I have literally no friends here and am feeling incredibly lonely and isolated. I have no friends on my course (which I could live with), but I also have no friends in general. It seemed like I made a friend in the first term and we would hang out and go clubbing in the evening together but now they've made new friends and completely blown me off. I also have no friends in my accommodation, whilst every other person that lives with me are all in a very tight knit friend group. It's not that they're mean people or anything I think they are all just very similar to each other and completely different to me. The thing is that I'm a bit of a quiet and awkward person when it comes down to it, and I've struggled with anxiety in the past - so now I'm too anxious to spend time in the shared spaces in my flat, even to cook proper meals, because my flatmates are often there and they are all very loud people (imagine popular people in high school lol). So I don't talk to anyone, no one in my flat acknowledges me, and i'm completely missing out on uni social life. I joined several societies as soon as I could in the first time like everyone recommends and went out of my way to talk to and reach out to new people, but it felt like everyone already had mates, or just didn't want to be friends with me so all of them dried up.
I think also I just chose the wrong location of uni? I come from a small village and the closest city is a bit of a shithole, so I really wanted to move away to somewhere with a completely different atmosphere. I was completely focused on the campus tho and didn't even visit Lancaster itself when I came to the open day and basically its a bit nothing-y. It's just all really adding up to make me feel more lonely I think.
Basically, I'm considering re-applying to a new uni next year but its obvs a huge decision and my parents aren't even aware I'm having a **** time yet bc I don't have the heart to tell them, so I don't wanna break the news to them until I'm certain I want to start considering my other options. Another huge issue is money, because my loan isn't a lot and I was only able to pay it this year because I had money from relatives that I wouldn't have if I started over. Also I'm well aware that there is no guarantee I would have any different kind of an experience at a new uni bc obviously I'm still gonna be me and it's not like I'll just magically make friends but I'm just not sure if this uni on the whole was the best choice. I'm just very unhappy where I am right now but I dont really want to just wallow in it so I wanna change things if i can
Anyway ik this is kind of long but if anyone actually read allat I would really appreciate any kind of thoughts from people who have been/are in a similar position. Did re-applying at a new uni make anything better/worse? If I go thru all of uni without managing to make friends will I get used to it and still have a good time on my course? And also did anyone else feel like they'd just chosen the wrong location for uni? (if i did reapply im thinking of looking at city rather than campus unis)
Original post by Anonymous
I've just started my second term at Lanc uni and I'm beginning to think I made the wrong choice.
Firstly, I don't think I chose the wrong course, I really enjoy all my modules (and one plus of this uni is that you can choose extra modules outside of your major). But I'm also not sure how challenged I feel by it all? It's not something that would make me drop out on its own but added to everything else I think it just all adds up.
Secondly (and kind of the most important one), I have literally no friends here and am feeling incredibly lonely and isolated. I have no friends on my course (which I could live with), but I also have no friends in general. It seemed like I made a friend in the first term and we would hang out and go clubbing in the evening together but now they've made new friends and completely blown me off. I also have no friends in my accommodation, whilst every other person that lives with me are all in a very tight knit friend group. It's not that they're mean people or anything I think they are all just very similar to each other and completely different to me. The thing is that I'm a bit of a quiet and awkward person when it comes down to it, and I've struggled with anxiety in the past - so now I'm too anxious to spend time in the shared spaces in my flat, even to cook proper meals, because my flatmates are often there and they are all very loud people (imagine popular people in high school lol). So I don't talk to anyone, no one in my flat acknowledges me, and i'm completely missing out on uni social life. I joined several societies as soon as I could in the first time like everyone recommends and went out of my way to talk to and reach out to new people, but it felt like everyone already had mates, or just didn't want to be friends with me so all of them dried up.
I think also I just chose the wrong location of uni? I come from a small village and the closest city is a bit of a shithole, so I really wanted to move away to somewhere with a completely different atmosphere. I was completely focused on the campus tho and didn't even visit Lancaster itself when I came to the open day and basically its a bit nothing-y. It's just all really adding up to make me feel more lonely I think.
Basically, I'm considering re-applying to a new uni next year but its obvs a huge decision and my parents aren't even aware I'm having a **** time yet bc I don't have the heart to tell them, so I don't wanna break the news to them until I'm certain I want to start considering my other options. Another huge issue is money, because my loan isn't a lot and I was only able to pay it this year because I had money from relatives that I wouldn't have if I started over. Also I'm well aware that there is no guarantee I would have any different kind of an experience at a new uni bc obviously I'm still gonna be me and it's not like I'll just magically make friends but I'm just not sure if this uni on the whole was the best choice. I'm just very unhappy where I am right now but I dont really want to just wallow in it so I wanna change things if i can
Anyway ik this is kind of long but if anyone actually read allat I would really appreciate any kind of thoughts from people who have been/are in a similar position. Did re-applying at a new uni make anything better/worse? If I go thru all of uni without managing to make friends will I get used to it and still have a good time on my course? And also did anyone else feel like they'd just chosen the wrong location for uni? (if i did reapply im thinking of looking at city rather than campus unis)
Firstly, I don't think I chose the wrong course, I really enjoy all my modules (and one plus of this uni is that you can choose extra modules outside of your major). But I'm also not sure how challenged I feel by it all? It's not something that would make me drop out on its own but added to everything else I think it just all adds up.
Secondly (and kind of the most important one), I have literally no friends here and am feeling incredibly lonely and isolated. I have no friends on my course (which I could live with), but I also have no friends in general. It seemed like I made a friend in the first term and we would hang out and go clubbing in the evening together but now they've made new friends and completely blown me off. I also have no friends in my accommodation, whilst every other person that lives with me are all in a very tight knit friend group. It's not that they're mean people or anything I think they are all just very similar to each other and completely different to me. The thing is that I'm a bit of a quiet and awkward person when it comes down to it, and I've struggled with anxiety in the past - so now I'm too anxious to spend time in the shared spaces in my flat, even to cook proper meals, because my flatmates are often there and they are all very loud people (imagine popular people in high school lol). So I don't talk to anyone, no one in my flat acknowledges me, and i'm completely missing out on uni social life. I joined several societies as soon as I could in the first time like everyone recommends and went out of my way to talk to and reach out to new people, but it felt like everyone already had mates, or just didn't want to be friends with me so all of them dried up.
I think also I just chose the wrong location of uni? I come from a small village and the closest city is a bit of a shithole, so I really wanted to move away to somewhere with a completely different atmosphere. I was completely focused on the campus tho and didn't even visit Lancaster itself when I came to the open day and basically its a bit nothing-y. It's just all really adding up to make me feel more lonely I think.
Basically, I'm considering re-applying to a new uni next year but its obvs a huge decision and my parents aren't even aware I'm having a **** time yet bc I don't have the heart to tell them, so I don't wanna break the news to them until I'm certain I want to start considering my other options. Another huge issue is money, because my loan isn't a lot and I was only able to pay it this year because I had money from relatives that I wouldn't have if I started over. Also I'm well aware that there is no guarantee I would have any different kind of an experience at a new uni bc obviously I'm still gonna be me and it's not like I'll just magically make friends but I'm just not sure if this uni on the whole was the best choice. I'm just very unhappy where I am right now but I dont really want to just wallow in it so I wanna change things if i can
Anyway ik this is kind of long but if anyone actually read allat I would really appreciate any kind of thoughts from people who have been/are in a similar position. Did re-applying at a new uni make anything better/worse? If I go thru all of uni without managing to make friends will I get used to it and still have a good time on my course? And also did anyone else feel like they'd just chosen the wrong location for uni? (if i did reapply im thinking of looking at city rather than campus unis)
Hi,
I'm so sorry to hear you're not enjoying your time at Lancaster but I guarantee you won't be the only one feeling this way so please don't worry.
I'm glad that you're enjoying the course and the modules, this really is a positive - which course are you studying? Not feeling challenged can be down to a number of things. For example, some courses have no required subjects and just grade requirements - this means this first term or even the first year is designed in a way to bring everyone up to the same level and ensure all students know the basics before progression to part 2. If you've studied the course before, this may also glad you to not feel challenged given you already have prior knowledge or understanding of the content taught. Again, if you're naturally clever and the content comes easily to you then this is another reason. All of these reasons will be similar for first year students in universities across the country and although changing university location may be beneficial to you, you may still feel this way about the course and you may enjoy it less if the modules are not ones you enjoy. As you will hear from most students, there is a big jump from first year to second year in terms of content and difficulty so do consider this and if possible speak to students in the year above you. I know you say you feel like you don't know people on the course but most courses have their own student society or one similar so you could message or go to and speak to people or follow this link and fill in your course details to ask a student ambassador about years 2 and 3 content - Ask a Student - Lancaster University
Feeling lonely and isolated is very personal to you and having the strength to recognise and voice this is admirable. I would recommend speaking to your college advisory team, and I have used their counselling services as well as ones they have directed me to so I can say that it would be beneficial. I know speaking up can be anxious, daunting, scary etc. but that's what they are here for - they want you to have the best university experience and you won't be the first or last student that has come to them with this but they will have lots of advice, suggestions and help as well as provide a safe, comfortable space for you to discuss your thoughts and feelings of the university and your life at Lancaster. In terms of living with friends, there are lots of private student halls as well as the opportunity to live in university accommodation again that you can move into as an individual as well as lots of Facebook pages and LU Homes advertising "spare rooms" for students needing an extra flat mate to live with - Studentpad Accommodation Search. If you struggle with your flat mates, have you tried speaking with other people in your accommodation block? Joining societies is a great way to meet friends but if you don't feel like you have made friends through maybe try something new or out your comfort zone. The college teams are all very welcoming and joining one would really help with you feeling like you fit in - which college are you in?
If you don't enjoy the city and what's on offer, have you looked into day trips and using the transport links to somewhere with a bit more going on?
I would recommend speaking you your parents, as you say it is a huge decision and they will want to be there and support you. Having a second opinion and re-evaluating everything may help you. There is funding available from the colleges, courses and the university here Full list of funding opportunities | ASK - Lancaster University so do take a look and see if there is anything available to you. There are free meals available on campus from the SU as a meal News Item - free meals available as supper club returns | Portal or a cheap eats meal "Cheap Eats - Buy a hot meal for £2.95 at HIVE or Pendle Brew between 12-3pm, or The Marketplace between 2-5pm, Monday-Friday." or from their pantry "It offers Lancaster University students and staff free food and hygiene products to help out during the cost of living crisis. Come down to the Students' Union Welcome Desk in Bowland Main, Monday-Friday 10am- 4pm.". The colleges also provide meals through the Where's The Food initiative as well as other things "Urgent or short-term support for accessing free groceries and hygiene essentials is available through your college via their Community Cupboards (which contain long-life food items, toiletries and personal hygiene items) and/or supermarket vouchers. Please contact your College Manager directly or college advisor team to find out how to access the cupboard and what additional support which may be available."
For a full break down of what's on offer to support students, follow this link - Student cost of living | ASK - Lancaster University but please make sure you use the initiatives on offer and anything you may need and don't be afraid to ask for help.
If you are wanting to move to a different university, I would recommend speaking with your academic advisor and the careers team as they will be able to help you with this should you decide if this its the route to go down. Once you've looked into courses and universities elsewhere, do speak with current students there and visit to get a feel for the place.
Whatever you decide to do be that stay or move elsewhere, make sure it's the right decision for you.
Hope this helps, Ella - Lancaster University Student Ambassador
Original post by Anonymous
I've just started my second term at Lanc uni and I'm beginning to think I made the wrong choice.
Firstly, I don't think I chose the wrong course, I really enjoy all my modules (and one plus of this uni is that you can choose extra modules outside of your major). But I'm also not sure how challenged I feel by it all? It's not something that would make me drop out on its own but added to everything else I think it just all adds up.
Secondly (and kind of the most important one), I have literally no friends here and am feeling incredibly lonely and isolated. I have no friends on my course (which I could live with), but I also have no friends in general. It seemed like I made a friend in the first term and we would hang out and go clubbing in the evening together but now they've made new friends and completely blown me off. I also have no friends in my accommodation, whilst every other person that lives with me are all in a very tight knit friend group. It's not that they're mean people or anything I think they are all just very similar to each other and completely different to me. The thing is that I'm a bit of a quiet and awkward person when it comes down to it, and I've struggled with anxiety in the past - so now I'm too anxious to spend time in the shared spaces in my flat, even to cook proper meals, because my flatmates are often there and they are all very loud people (imagine popular people in high school lol). So I don't talk to anyone, no one in my flat acknowledges me, and i'm completely missing out on uni social life. I joined several societies as soon as I could in the first time like everyone recommends and went out of my way to talk to and reach out to new people, but it felt like everyone already had mates, or just didn't want to be friends with me so all of them dried up.
I think also I just chose the wrong location of uni? I come from a small village and the closest city is a bit of a shithole, so I really wanted to move away to somewhere with a completely different atmosphere. I was completely focused on the campus tho and didn't even visit Lancaster itself when I came to the open day and basically its a bit nothing-y. It's just all really adding up to make me feel more lonely I think.
Basically, I'm considering re-applying to a new uni next year but its obvs a huge decision and my parents aren't even aware I'm having a **** time yet bc I don't have the heart to tell them, so I don't wanna break the news to them until I'm certain I want to start considering my other options. Another huge issue is money, because my loan isn't a lot and I was only able to pay it this year because I had money from relatives that I wouldn't have if I started over. Also I'm well aware that there is no guarantee I would have any different kind of an experience at a new uni bc obviously I'm still gonna be me and it's not like I'll just magically make friends but I'm just not sure if this uni on the whole was the best choice. I'm just very unhappy where I am right now but I dont really want to just wallow in it so I wanna change things if i can
Anyway ik this is kind of long but if anyone actually read allat I would really appreciate any kind of thoughts from people who have been/are in a similar position. Did re-applying at a new uni make anything better/worse? If I go thru all of uni without managing to make friends will I get used to it and still have a good time on my course? And also did anyone else feel like they'd just chosen the wrong location for uni? (if i did reapply im thinking of looking at city rather than campus unis)
Firstly, I don't think I chose the wrong course, I really enjoy all my modules (and one plus of this uni is that you can choose extra modules outside of your major). But I'm also not sure how challenged I feel by it all? It's not something that would make me drop out on its own but added to everything else I think it just all adds up.
Secondly (and kind of the most important one), I have literally no friends here and am feeling incredibly lonely and isolated. I have no friends on my course (which I could live with), but I also have no friends in general. It seemed like I made a friend in the first term and we would hang out and go clubbing in the evening together but now they've made new friends and completely blown me off. I also have no friends in my accommodation, whilst every other person that lives with me are all in a very tight knit friend group. It's not that they're mean people or anything I think they are all just very similar to each other and completely different to me. The thing is that I'm a bit of a quiet and awkward person when it comes down to it, and I've struggled with anxiety in the past - so now I'm too anxious to spend time in the shared spaces in my flat, even to cook proper meals, because my flatmates are often there and they are all very loud people (imagine popular people in high school lol). So I don't talk to anyone, no one in my flat acknowledges me, and i'm completely missing out on uni social life. I joined several societies as soon as I could in the first time like everyone recommends and went out of my way to talk to and reach out to new people, but it felt like everyone already had mates, or just didn't want to be friends with me so all of them dried up.
I think also I just chose the wrong location of uni? I come from a small village and the closest city is a bit of a shithole, so I really wanted to move away to somewhere with a completely different atmosphere. I was completely focused on the campus tho and didn't even visit Lancaster itself when I came to the open day and basically its a bit nothing-y. It's just all really adding up to make me feel more lonely I think.
Basically, I'm considering re-applying to a new uni next year but its obvs a huge decision and my parents aren't even aware I'm having a **** time yet bc I don't have the heart to tell them, so I don't wanna break the news to them until I'm certain I want to start considering my other options. Another huge issue is money, because my loan isn't a lot and I was only able to pay it this year because I had money from relatives that I wouldn't have if I started over. Also I'm well aware that there is no guarantee I would have any different kind of an experience at a new uni bc obviously I'm still gonna be me and it's not like I'll just magically make friends but I'm just not sure if this uni on the whole was the best choice. I'm just very unhappy where I am right now but I dont really want to just wallow in it so I wanna change things if i can
Anyway ik this is kind of long but if anyone actually read allat I would really appreciate any kind of thoughts from people who have been/are in a similar position. Did re-applying at a new uni make anything better/worse? If I go thru all of uni without managing to make friends will I get used to it and still have a good time on my course? And also did anyone else feel like they'd just chosen the wrong location for uni? (if i did reapply im thinking of looking at city rather than campus unis)
I’m feeling the exact same apart from the fact I’m in Essex uni at the moment.
I’m supposed to be there but my mental health advisor sent me home for the week I really really want to be closer to home or be at home but I don’t want to be stuck in Leicester.
I have also made absolutely no friends at all I’ve tried so hard but they are all so closed off. I want to go somewhere else but I’m scared I won’t get SFE and my mum won’t let me live for free here she only makes 22k and she can’t help me I’m the one helping her with the money I send her
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