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17 and a half and never had a girlfriend

So I am basically 17 and a half years old now and I have never had a girlfriend which really pains me. Other boys of my age have sneered at me because of this. I really want one but what do I do if an ugly girl is really into me and she keeps wanting to date me? Any advice from you guys?

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Original post by killabitis
So I am basically 17 and a half years old now and I have never had a girlfriend which really pains me. Other boys of my age have sneered at me because of this. I really want one but what do I do if an ugly girl is really into me and she keeps wanting to date me? Any advice from you guys?

If shes ugly shes not attractive to you so dont date her. Only date ppl your are attracted too. If your attracted to them in other ways then go for it. Looks arent everything and yk ppl can get glow ups and all. I'm the same age as u and and never had a bf but if I had a crush and he thought I was ugly I wouldn't want to date him cuz he wouldn't make me feel good. Not that your doing anything bad but u get me.
Original post by killabitis
So I am basically 17 and a half years old now and I have never had a girlfriend which really pains me. Other boys of my age have sneered at me because of this. I really want one but what do I do if an ugly girl is really into me and she keeps wanting to date me? Any advice from you guys?

Yeah my advice FOCUS ON YOUR EDUCATION. You ain’t even got certifications yet your worried about having a “girlfriend” also don’t judge mate be thankful to whoever is given for you. Your so called girlfriend when you do have one I’m sure would want to appreciate you for the guy you are so have appreciation and acceptance for appearance whatever it maybe.
Reply 3
Original post by Mohammed_2000
Yeah my advice FOCUS ON YOUR EDUCATION. You ain’t even got certifications yet your worried about having a “girlfriend” also don’t judge mate be thankful to whoever is given for you. Your so called girlfriend when you do have one I’m sure would want to appreciate you for the guy you are so have appreciation and acceptance for appearance whatever it maybe.

You're wrong I do have certificates. I've got Grade 6 Piano with Merit and Grade 4 Music Theory with distinction. I've also got 6 GCSEs and I'm now doing A Level's.
Original post by killabitis
You're wrong I do have certificates. I've got Grade 6 Piano with Merit and Grade 4 Music Theory with distinction. I've also got 6 GCSEs and I'm now doing A Level's.

Do you pursue it further my friend your only 17. You have a whole life ahead of you. Pass your A Levels advance onto an apprenticeship or a degree and then you’ll eventually have a girlfriend. Girlfriend won’t help you pass your exams mate or coursework.
(edited 3 weeks ago)
It's mildly amusing in a ridiculous way when school children think they're all that because they have a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Or they think they're oh so mature and grown up because they're going out with someone.

And yet, within the relationship, they invariably think and act like what they are. School children.

You being pained by the remarks of school children is just you being a school child. Which is OK because that's what's you are.

At this stage it makes a lot of sense to treat this as a preparation stage in your life.
So that if you've really got everything together you should be preparing yourself to live as a fully functioning independent adult.
The trouble is, so few 17 year olds do this effectively. Because they don't have the right mentors and guidance in their life.

So that you should be focusing on:
Learning to drive and passing your test.
Learning about nutrition and cooking and food shopping.
Learning how to set and manage your budget. For balancing your income and spending and investing it wisely.
Learning academic stuff.
Learning social skills, including man to woman social skills.
Learn how to earn loads of money for yourself and learn how to do it in a way that you will be content enough with the day to day process of earning that money. Learning this is more important than the academic stuff.

If you get a chance to spend time with an ugly girl, you should take it. Whilst keeping her in perspective with all the other learning stuff you're doing.
You want to learn so much about interacting with girls that when the right woman comes along, you're prepared. And because you're an empath, you'll want the ugly girl to learn as much about boys as she can and to build her confidence up as much as you can. IE leave her in a better place than when you first met.

There's a few places you can go for great free advice on man to woman social skills. And then from there you should aim to practise, practise, practise, practise, check your learning and back to practise, practise, practise.

The better you prepare yourself now, the easier your life will be from 2027 onwards.
Original post by killabitis
So I am basically 17 and a half years old now and I have never had a girlfriend which really pains me. Other boys of my age have sneered at me because of this. I really want one but what do I do if an ugly girl is really into me and she keeps wanting to date me? Any advice from you guys?


Mate it does not matter wether you have a girlfriend or not at this stage of life, see it as a benefit. This may be my biased opinion but I believe that there is more of a need to focus on your own self and school. when you do well in life everyone is going to want to be with you however if you can’t do well in life nobody will care about you! Take this time to reflect on your self on really understand who you are I guess. This is my opinion take it how you will!
Definitely do not date the girl you talked about as you would both inevitably be unhappy. I'm your age and have never dated anyone either, so I can understand feeling lonely and like you're missing out on smth but really I think that's more about the place you're in mentally than about not having a gf. Also it doesn't sound like you have very supportive friends if they're mocking you for that. I would say, that rather than focussing on getting a girlfriend you should try to socialise (go out some more, maybe build stronger connections with friends) and also work on yourself so that you'll feel better in your skin and be less sensitive to other people's mockery and less desperate for a gf. Also, this part is my own opinion so go ahead and ignore it, but it sounds like you could be a bit kinder, for example that girl you talked about, even though she won't read this probably has feelings and though she may not be your type shouldn't just be called ugly (in my opinion). I'm obvs not saying you should be attracted to someone you're not and not even that you should talk to her if you don't like her, but possibly be mindful of the way you talk about others, it also says a lot about the way you perceive her...
You're still very young. It absolutely does not matter that you've not had a girlfriend yet, you have plenty of time for that. Don't date a girl that you're not attracted to, that isn't fair on her and you won't be happy with her. Just wait, the right person will come in time - for now just focus on your studies, your hobbies, your friends, and your family.
Reply 9
Original post by killabitis
So I am basically 17 and a half years old now and I have never had a girlfriend which really pains me. Other boys of my age have sneered at me because of this. I really want one but what do I do if an ugly girl is really into me and she keeps wanting to date me? Any advice from you guys?

I thought in a different forum of yours you said you had relationships before
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
It's mildly amusing in a ridiculous way when school children think they're all that because they have a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Or they think they're oh so mature and grown up because they're going out with someone.
And yet, within the relationship, they invariably think and act like what they are. School children.
You being pained by the remarks of school children is just you being a school child. Which is OK because that's what's you are.
At this stage it makes a lot of sense to treat this as a preparation stage in your life.
So that if you've really got everything together you should be preparing yourself to live as a fully functioning independent adult.
The trouble is, so few 17 year olds do this effectively. Because they don't have the right mentors and guidance in their life.
So that you should be focusing on:
Learning to drive and passing your test.
Learning about nutrition and cooking and food shopping.
Learning how to set and manage your budget. For balancing your income and spending and investing it wisely.
Learning academic stuff.
Learning social skills, including man to woman social skills.
Learn how to earn loads of money for yourself and learn how to do it in a way that you will be content enough with the day to day process of earning that money. Learning this is more important than the academic stuff.
If you get a chance to spend time with an ugly girl, you should take it. Whilst keeping her in perspective with all the other learning stuff you're doing.
You want to learn so much about interacting with girls that when the right woman comes along, you're prepared. And because you're an empath, you'll want the ugly girl to learn as much about boys as she can and to build her confidence up as much as you can. IE leave her in a better place than when you first met.
There's a few places you can go for great free advice on man to woman social skills. And then from there you should aim to practise, practise, practise, practise, check your learning and back to practise, practise, practise.
The better you prepare yourself now, the easier your life will be from 2027 onwards.

I'm not going to drive at the moment I'm going to wait until I'm 22 or 23 which is when I'll have a job
It's your life, your choice.

How about you starting to earn money once you've got your A levels out of the way?
Even if it's just a side-hustle part time job or business?
Original post by Anonymous
Definitely do not date the girl you talked about as you would both inevitably be unhappy. I'm your age and have never dated anyone either, so I can understand feeling lonely and like you're missing out on smth but really I think that's more about the place you're in mentally than about not having a gf. Also it doesn't sound like you have very supportive friends if they're mocking you for that. I would say, that rather than focussing on getting a girlfriend you should try to socialise (go out some more, maybe build stronger connections with friends) and also work on yourself so that you'll feel better in your skin and be less sensitive to other people's mockery and less desperate for a gf. Also, this part is my own opinion so go ahead and ignore it, but it sounds like you could be a bit kinder, for example that girl you talked about, even though she won't read this probably has feelings and though she may not be your type shouldn't just be called ugly (in my opinion). I'm obvs not saying you should be attracted to someone you're not and not even that you should talk to her if you don't like her, but possibly be mindful of the way you talk about others, it also says a lot about the way you perceive her...

An ugly girl isn't into me at the moment but one was at first when I joined my current sixth form college. She liked my piano playing (I'm grade 7) and she started flirting with me and I was cordial back but didn't reciprocate greatly. I think she might have left the college now because I haven't seen around at it is a pretty small sixth form.
Original post by PinkMobilePhone
You're still very young. It absolutely does not matter that you've not had a girlfriend yet, you have plenty of time for that. Don't date a girl that you're not attracted to, that isn't fair on her and you won't be happy with her. Just wait, the right person will come in time - for now just focus on your studies, your hobbies, your friends, and your family.

I don't have any close friends actually
Original post by killabitis
So I am basically 17 and a half years old now and I have never had a girlfriend which really pains me. Other boys of my age have sneered at me because of this. I really want one but what do I do if an ugly girl is really into me and she keeps wanting to date me? Any advice from you guys?

Original post by killabitis
An ugly girl isn't into me at the moment but one was at first when I joined my current sixth form college. She liked my piano playing (I'm grade 7) and she started flirting with me and I was cordial back but didn't reciprocate greatly. I think she might have left the college now because I haven't seen around at it is a pretty small sixth form.

I've noticed that you're complaining about not having a girlfriend... yet you refer to "ugly" girls (you've done it twice now).

When you say "Ugly", do you mean girls who are just a bit plain; that you're personally not attracted to... or do you mean that they are so hideously disgusting you can't bear to look at them... without wanting to wretch?

Ugly is a strong word to use about someone and it really irks me the way it's used to describe anyone who doesn't float someone's boat... especially on this board.

There's more to someone than just their looks. If it's just the fact that they're plain or not your type, then I don't see the harm in spending a bit of time with them, and seeing if there's more about them than just their looks.

I've also learnt (from experience) that if you're open minded, and aren't afraid to try something new / different, you may find you're compatible with a lot more people than you than you thought possible. One or two dates isn't exactly a marriage, so if you've given them a chance... but feel you can't look past the whole looks thing, then you can make your excuses and end it (at the very least it gives you a little experience).

IMHO, unless you're something special yourself, you can't really complain if hot girls don't like you.
(edited 3 weeks ago)
Join a band as their keyboard player.

Great way to earn some dough and to earn some social proof and to meet women.

Start a band or a solo career if no bands will have you.
People that sneer at you because you don't have a girlfriend yet were going to sneer at you for something else even if you had a girlfriend. It doesn't say anything about you, they're just sneerers.

I was 23 before I had my first kiss and 25 when I met my first girlfriend. Don't sweat it, you've got plenty of time and at your age a relationship will probably not be very stable or happy.
Original post by Old Skool Freak
I've noticed that you're complaining about not having a girlfriend... yet you refer to "ugly" girls (you've done it twice now).
When you say "Ugly", do you mean girls who are just a bit plain; that you're personally not attracted to... or do you mean that they are so hideously disgusting you can't bear to look at them... without wanting to wretch?
Ugly is a strong word to use about someone and it really irks me the way it's used to describe anyone who doesn't float someone's boat... especially on this board.
There's more to someone than just their looks. If it's just the fact that they're plain or not your type, then I don't see the harm in spending a bit of time with them, and seeing if there's more about them than just their looks.
I've also learnt (from experience) that if you're open minded, and aren't afraid to try something new / different, you may find you're compatible with a lot more people than you than you thought possible. One or two dates isn't exactly a marriage, so if you've given them a chance... but feel you can't look past the whole looks thing, then you can make your excuses and end it (at the very least it gives you a little experience).
IMHO, unless you're something special yourself, you can't really complain if hot girls don't like you.

You're wrong. I'm not a narcissist but I think I'm relatively handsome. My Mum has said so and a few other people as well.
Reply 18
You’re not exactly ancient so I wouldn’t panic yet. Dating is a combination of who you find attractive and who you can attract so some compromises can be required. It not very nice to brand someone as ugly so if you are attractive, although mothers don’t tend to be an impartial judge, perhaps work on being a bit kinder
Original post by killabitis
You're wrong. I'm not a narcissist but I think I'm relatively handsome. My Mum has said so and a few other people as well.

if the first thing you think of when you meet a girl is by rating them in terms of attractiveness/ugliness you aren't going to go far on the relationship ladder

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