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This is making me anxious! Any advice?

My boyfriend (23) is very outgoing and has a lot more friends than me (23). He recently went to a houseparty with them for the first time in the year we’ve been together. I’ve never been to a party because I’m not into that, even when I was at university, so this is all new to me. Ive also only previously been in a relationship with a person who didn’t go to parties so this has never been a worry to me. I may be naive as all I know about parties are drinking, drugs and sex, as portrayed in movies. I’m not worried about him cheating as I trust him but I worry about what his friends are doing and whether they are influencing him (they do drugs and go to strip clubs but he is very much against that).When he went to the party he did message me and update me about what was happening which did reassure me. I would never stop him going to a party but I just can’t help but feel uncomfortable about the whole situation as it’s new to me. I forced myself to be okay with it when deep down it makes me anxious. They also all stayed overnight. He is generally a good boyfriend and he rarely drinks/goes to parties anyway so he’s not a party animal. But I find him very contrasting to his friends which makes me wonder why he even hangs around with them. He tells me sometimes they make him feel left out and he can’t always be himself around them which makes me worry he may try to ‘fit in’ with them.Does anyone have advice? I don’t really want to bring it up to him because I worry it will cause an argument and I will come across as being insecure.
You left out the bit about someone robbing millions of pounds of jewellery from the safe upstairs in movie parties.

These Hollywood films are not documentaries.

Many parties are tame affairs.

And even if he drinks, takes drugs and has sex with someone, so what?
Your life will go on. And your life will be - overall - just as great as it was before.
All that would happen is that 1 chapter of your life would end and another would begin.

Your instincts are so right when they're telling you to keep this bottled up and not talk with him about this.

Send him off to parties with a "Have a great time!"
If he debriefs you about the party: listen and give appropriate responses to what he tells you. Otherwise don't bother asking him about it.

It's your choice not to go. The downside to not going is the uncertainty. Another downside is you missing out on an opportunity to do one of the most pleasurable things in the world. Which is to meet and interact with other people at a social event.
The upside to you not going to the party is that you can do something else with that time.
Reply 2
Original post by Dunnig Kruger
You left out the bit about someone robbing millions of pounds of jewellery from the safe upstairs in movie parties.
These Hollywood films are not documentaries.
Many parties are tame affairs.
And even if he drinks, takes drugs and has sex with someone, so what?
Your life will go on. And your life will be - overall - just as great as it was before.
All that would happen is that 1 chapter of your life would end and another would begin.
Your instincts are so right when they're telling you to keep this bottled up and not talk with him about this.
Send him off to parties with a "Have a great time!"
If he debriefs you about the party: listen and give appropriate responses to what he tells you. Otherwise don't bother asking him about it.
It's your choice not to go. The downside to not going is the uncertainty. Another downside is you missing out on an opportunity to do one of the most pleasurable things in the world. Which is to meet and interact with other people at a social event.
The upside to you not going to the party is that you can do something else with that time.

I didn’t go because i wasn’t invited - it was just their friend group and I haven’t met them yet as they only meet like twice a year. Even though i am not into partying I would have gone as you said I’d feel more comfortable knowing what’s going on and I’d know what his friends are actually like to be around
Thanks for the clarification.

You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.
He would be better to have 5 good friends than lots of fake friends.

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