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Hating Uni atm

Hi. First time poster but long time lurker. Just wondered if I can have any advice? I settled in at University (2 hours away from home, at University of Nottingham) relatively well.

I struggled at the start with homesickness and anxiety but have made friends in my accommodation, 5 of whom I'm living with next year. I like my course (English) but haven't found the people in my seminars very friendly (usually just awkward silence - I'm about the only person who ever says anything) although I really like the seminar tutors, lecturers and modules (there's one I don't like but I can ditch it next year). I'm also really active in student theatre which is good as that is something I enjoyed as a school pupil.

However, at around October, my friend from home died from cancer. It was really traumatic because I only had 3 days between knowing she'd gone into a hospice to her dying and I had to deal with everything all by myself without anyone around me. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I've spoken to staff at the Uni and Wellbeing quite a lot about it but it's just made me realize how much I want to go home and be with my friends back at home because I prefer it there. I did kind of feel like this before my friend died but this has just amplified everything. Being home for X-Mas for a month just made me want to live at home permenantely. As nice and friendly as the Uni is, nothing feels like it did at home

Any suggestions? Thanks for the time. X

Reply 1

artful_lounger

Universities Forum Helper

Regarding the seminars - thats unfortunately common at most if not all unis. Undergrads often are reluctant to participate in seminars and often it falls on the same few students to "carry" the session each time.

Regarding the other matters - thats obviously quite a significant event and understandably you are quite affected by it. Maybe worth speaking with your personal tutor to see if theres any opportunity to e.g. interrupt your studies for a term/year to allow you to spend some time at home and process that? Might also be something to speak with your GP about in terms of support and how its affecting you.

This may give you time to process at home and reconnect to people there, while also not ruling out the possibility of returning to your current uni. Then after having experienced uni and living at home again you can make a choice vetween the two further down the line to either reapply to a uni near home or return to your current uni (and hopefully avoid making a decision now during a very charged and emotive time for you, and instead making it later with more knowledge of both options and being more removed from the immediate situation).

Obviously theres no guarantee theyll say yes and let you do it but theres no harm in asking and it could let you hedge your bets for a while :smile: