The Student Room Group

How can i know if a guys is cheating

I need help someone help me. I have a gut feeling that my bf is cheating on me with someone else idk who but i have a feeling and my aunt my bff my mom my dad my sister my brother my bffs brother all thinks that he is cheating on me. Then i asked him and once again he says he isn't but resently he has stopped answering my calls and messages.
Reply 1
Secrecy about whereabouts and phone messages are a possible sign
Original post by separated-drunk
I need help someone help me. I have a gut feeling that my bf is cheating on me with someone else idk who but i have a feeling and my aunt my bff my mom my dad my sister my brother my bffs brother all thinks that he is cheating on me. Then i asked him and once again he says he isn't but resently he has stopped answering my calls and messages.

Have you got him on socials like snap or something you can follow his snap score to see if it’s regularly updating if it’s updating that means he’s live and active on snap and he’s practically ignoring you yet responding to someone else. By either opening snaps or opening and reply to snaps. Or even sending out snaps?
You could also check his WhatsApp last seen whether he’s online or not. Depending on his privacy setting. Can try snap maps to see if he’s live and active.
If he's acting different than usual, ask him to explain why and to do it in person (not over text). If you don't like or don't believe his answer, break up. If he's not giving you direct answers (and instead making excuses, deflecting your questions, or blaming you) - then you have a good reason to suspect he's hiding or lying about something.

That's the direct & healthy approach to deal with this. If you like playing games, try the following instead:

Mirror his behaviours. If he has stopped replying to your messages as quickly, you could start doing the same. If he is indeed cheating and that is why he's been acting this way, and you start exhibiting the same behaviours, he will very likely at least get insecure about it and quite likely suspect that you're cheating on him. He might even come out and accuse you of it. (Often people who cheat will accuse you or others of cheating, even without you giving them reason to. My strategy only makes it even more likely that they'll react this way.) There's a chance if he has checked out of your relationship completely, then this won't provoke any response at all from him - which will feel even worse for you actually.

You could also get a friend of yours (whom he doesn't know about), to follow him around. If you have such friends, with nothing better to do in their spare time.

(edited 2 weeks ago)
Original post by NonIndigenous
If he's acting different than usual, ask him to explain why and to do it in person (not over text). If you don't like or don't believe his answer, break up. If he's not giving you direct answers (and instead making excuses, deflecting your questions, or blaming you) - then you have a good reason to suspect he's hiding or lying about something.
That's the direct & healthy approach to deal with this. If you like playing games, try the following instead:

Mirror his behaviours. If he has stopped replying to your messages as quickly, you could start doing the same. If he is indeed cheating and that is why he's been acting this way, and you start exhibiting the same behaviours, he will very likely at least get insecure about it and quite likely suspect that you're cheating on him. He might even come out and accuse you of it. (Often people who cheat will accuse you or others of cheating, even without you giving them reason to. My strategy only makes it even more likely that they'll react this way.) There's a chance if he has checked out of your relationship completely, then this won't provoke any response at all from him - which will feel even worse for you actually.

You could also get a friend of yours (whom he doesn't know about), to follow him around. If you have such friends, with nothing better to do in their spare time.


Well thank you that really helped me i will message this user back if it gets better ord worse and if i need ur help again
There's always the possibility he's innocent and just sick of being accused by you, especially if other people keep putting the idea in your head.
Original post by StriderHort
There's always the possibility he's innocent and just sick of being accused by you, especially if other people keep putting the idea in your head.

okay maybe you are right because that does make since now okay maybe he isn't cheating and maybe he just got his phone tooken off of him or something but now i have two ppl after him oops my bad
I'd go through his phone tbh. The real him is always on his phone and trust me on that one..🙄
Original post by Anonymous
I'd go through his phone tbh. The real him is always on his phone and trust me on that one..🙄

okay thank you
Original post by separated-drunk
okay maybe you are right because that does make since now okay maybe he isn't cheating and maybe he just got his phone tooken off of him or something but now i have two ppl after him oops my bad

I think rather than having his phone taken off him, it would be more likely he is choosing not to reply.

So now based on a vague accusation you've encouraged people to harm your boyfriend?
Reply 11
Original post by separated-drunk
I need help someone help me. I have a gut feeling that my bf is cheating on me with someone else idk who but i have a feeling and my aunt my bff my mom my dad my sister my brother my bffs brother all thinks that he is cheating on me. Then i asked him and once again he says he isn't but resently he has stopped answering my calls and messages.

that's... a lot of people. why would they randomly accuse him? what does he actually do to raise your/theirs suspicions?
You obviously are unable to trust him, regardless of if he is cheating that is a serious issue as is unwillingness to communicate clearly and effectively. Rather than asking if he is cheating on you or having people follow him or breaking his trust and privacy by going through his phone, ask if this relationship is what you really want. Is it worth thebstress the paranoia and hesrt ache or would you both be simply better served by separation
Original post by Stormgrad
You obviously are unable to trust him, regardless of if he is cheating that is a serious issue as is unwillingness to communicate clearly and effectively. Rather than asking if he is cheating on you or having people follow him or breaking his trust and privacy by going through his phone, ask if this relationship is what you really want. Is it worth thebstress the paranoia and hesrt ache or would you both be simply better served by separation

You really think if you ask a guy if they're cheating on you that they will admit it? 🤣c'mon now. We both know that wouldn't happen.
Original post by Anonymous
You really think if you ask a guy if they're cheating on you that they will admit it? 🤣c'mon now. We both know that wouldn't happen.

1.) I didn't expressley mean asking him if he was cheating, he seems unwilling to communicate at other times
2.) I think you'd be surprised at how many will just buckle and admit it when they think they've been caught out

Quick Reply