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Marriage Islamic point of view

Salam
Is it haram or wrong to want to marry someone with education in Islam. This isn’t because I see the man any less than me in anyway at all. I would just prefer to marry someone that could speak English and have a higher paid job than me as I would prefer not to be the bread winner in the marriage. When I say education I mean no education and can’t speak English at all and I can’t speak the persons language well either.

I don’t just look look at Education and language barrier I would also look at values, how religious but wanted to ask if anyone knew if it’s haram or a disliked act in Islam to want this in Islam.

Reply 1

Original post
by Rabiiiiiii_1
Salam
Is it haram or wrong to want to marry someone with education in Islam. This isn’t because I see the man any less than me in anyway at all. I would just prefer to marry someone that could speak English and have a higher paid job than me as I would prefer not to be the bread winner in the marriage. When I say education I mean no education and can’t speak English at all and I can’t speak the persons language well either.
I don’t just look look at Education and language barrier I would also look at values, how religious but wanted to ask if anyone knew if it’s haram or a disliked act in Islam to want this in Islam.

It's not "haram". Education, knowledge of British Culture and the English language are all basic things you should look for in marriage. I don't want to pry but are your parents making you marry someone from "back home"?

Reply 2

Original post
by Rob Bellic
It's not "haram". Education, knowledge of British Culture and the English language are all basic things you should look for in marriage. I don't want to pry but are your parents making you marry someone from "back home"?

Yes they are. My parents aren’t forcing me at all but I do feel pressured. The other family do have quite a close relation to us as my dads sister is asking and she has stopped speaking to my dad which has really upset my dad. because of this I now feel like I should marry so my dad is still in contact with his family and removes all the stress he going through because of this.

Reply 3

Original post
by Rabiiiiiii_1
Yes they are. My parents aren’t forcing me at all but I do feel pressured. The other family do have quite a close relation to us as my dads sister is asking and she has stopped speaking to my dad which has really upset my dad. because of this I now feel like I should marry so my dad is still in contact with his family and removes all the stress he going through because of this.


Your parents want you to marry your cousin?? I'm guessing your family is from the South East Asian subcontinent? Were you born in the UK or are you an immigrant?

Reply 4

Sorry for the excessive questions, just want to know more details before giving any advice.

Reply 5

Original post
by Rob Bellic
Your parents want you to marry your cousin?? I'm guessing your family is from the South East Asian subcontinent? Were you born in the UK or are you an immigrant?

Yes from Bangladesh and yes I’m brown from the uk.
I appreciate your help I would really like it from a Islamic perspective

Reply 6

Original post
by Rabiiiiiii_1
Yes from Bangladesh and yes I’m brown from the uk.
I appreciate your help I would really like it from a Islamic perspective


There's no compulsion in islam to marry someone from your parents' home country. Neither is there a compulsion to marry within your own ethnic group.

Any 2nd generation person (eg your parents immigrated but you were born here) from Bangladesh/Pakistan/India has more in common with a British person compared to an immigrant from those countries. I'd say you should ideally marry someone born in the UK, who has roughly the same (or greater) education status as yourself. If you want to keep your parents happy, marry a British-Bengali (some who's parents were from Bangladesh but they were born in the UK).

Reply 7

Original post
by Rob Bellic
There's no compulsion in islam to marry someone from your parents' home country. Neither is there a compulsion to marry within your own ethnic group.
Any 2nd generation person (eg your parents immigrated but you were born here) from Bangladesh/Pakistan/India has more in common with a British person compared to an immigrant from those countries. I'd say you should ideally marry someone born in the UK, who has roughly the same (or greater) education status as yourself. If you want to keep your parents happy, marry a British-Bengali (some who's parents were from Bangladesh but they were born in the UK).

I don’t mind marrying someone who’s British Bengali but my dads sister wants me to get married to her son because there quite poor and if her son comes out to England it would make it easy for them in Bangladesh. I understand where she’s coming from but I don’t feel like I should just give myself up to someone that can’t speak English or handy got education when I’ve built something for myself and don’t want to be the main breadwinner at all. I just wanted to know if in Islam this was okay to want.

Reply 8

Original post
by Rabiiiiiii_1
I don’t mind marrying someone who’s British Bengali but my dads sister wants me to get married to her son because there quite poor and if her son comes out to England it would make it easy for them in Bangladesh. I understand where she’s coming from but I don’t feel like I should just give myself up to someone that can’t speak English or handy got education when I’ve built something for myself and don’t want to be the main breadwinner at all. I just wanted to know if in Islam this was okay to want.


Islamically, I think you're in the correct position. You need to prioritise your future and your children's future (if you have kids) over your Aunt's family. That means you need to marry someone who is educated, and is wealthy and culturally compatible. There's nothing wrong with wanting those things.

Anyway, even if your parents force you to marry your cousin, you might not be able to get him a visa. The government has already increased the minimum visa threshold for spouses to £28K, they're thinking of pushing it to £38k soon.

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