How do I get my ex back

I really want to get my ex back. I love her a lot.
here is the situation
- We were dating for four years (she is 21 and I am 20)
- I was her first kiss
- we were massively in love
- I pull away over summer, I suggest maybe I want to see other people
- this drives her crazy and she is really upset
- we stay together and we go on holiday. The holiday is terrible. We get on awfully, I nearly break up with her in the airport on the way and tell her to go home.
- this is in October.
- we break up after the holiday but remain in contact
- over Christmas she is calling me all the time its really sad. We meet up a little big and we re kindle a little bit.
I am pretty rude to her and don't always answer her calls though, we are broken up after all.
- we meet up right before we go to uni. and she says she loves me and wants to be together. She says do you want to be in a relationship right now and I say I'm not sure
- term starts. Wednesday she goes to sports night, she is the most loyal girl ever.
- next day she unadds me on everything
- I assume she has met a new guy
- she has
- this COMPLETELY destroys me
- I suddenly realise she was the love of my life, and I feel hopeless without her
- I write her a love letter, she says she doesn't care
- I cry on the phone and say I'm going to kill myself. Which was not true and also ridiculous.
- she still replies to my texts but she is not interested in meeting up with me
- I leave it a couple of days and say I still miss her. We chat on the phone and she ends up bringing up that this guy is taller than me (I'm 6'3) and also is handsome and also buys all of her drinks, she refuses to show me him.
- This sends me into some sort of crazy jealous rage. I write a ego fueled hate message that is horrible, and I say I didn't mean the love letter.
- I call her in the morning and tell her to not read the message and delete it before she can. She doesn't and gets really upset
- I say we should block each other on everything, and we do.
- later in the day I get upset and text her a bit. she replies but is clearly not interested
-next day I randomly text her "I'm outside" (I'm not I'm really far away) to get a reaction ( I am aware this is stupid both before and after sending it)
- she calls me saying she was terrified. and I apologise. She said now she will block me for good.
- She has blocked me on everything for good
- I desperately want her back. We were a great couple. Should I wait 1 month or 1 year or what? should I call her in two weeks and ask how she is? I'm pretty sure she will end up dating this guy. It is very upsetting for me

honestly don’t.
from what you’ve said thus far it doesn’t seem like your relationship with her was ever stable nor healthy,to subject you and her through that again wouldn’t be an act of love.
but trust me love will not just enter your life once,i can acknowledge that you feel strongly for her but just because you do it seems as though it’s materialized in ways that are damaging to both parties.
i think if you do plan on trying to get back with her,please for the sake of the relationship you wish to rekindle finds ways to better yourself first by loving yourself internally before you try to do so externally,it seems you have a few destructive methods when it comes to expressing your feelings,so i’d say work on your emotional regulation first,as using suicide as a tool to keep someone in a relationship can be very traumatic,along with blowing up on her when things don’t go your way.
so most importantly recognize where you’ve gone wrong and apologise.

You don't do anything to this girl except leave her alone because I missed the bit where you were a great couple, amongst the breaking up, ignoring, emotional blackmail, stalking, harrassment, lack of self-awareness and hate. And trolling?

We were a great couple for the first 3 and a half years of the realtionship. We would do loads of crazy and fun and cheeky and adventerous stuff.

I think I will call her on no caller ID in 6 months

The first three and half years aren't the issue.
This is vile behaviour. Can't tell if you're trolling, but do not do this.

Vile? How is this Vile? Maybe it isn't the right decision but what would make it vile? I've told her exactly how I feel. It's 6 months for god sake. The objective of the call wouldn't be to hurt her. What makes you say this.
Her thoughts right now
Her thoughts in 6 months
I don't plan on calling her up to insult her? What do you think I would say. I am a normal guy going through a tough time. I have been driven to emotions I don't normally feel. I am a person. I am not vile - yes I have made some terrible mistakes in the past week but none of this is out of being a intentionally bad person.
My objectives of life are to be the best person I can and make other people happy. I've had a moment that has given me grief. I know people have it much much worse - I have experienced grief nonetheless and I have not coped with it very well.
I was one to not sympathise in the past with others in situations like this I was sure nothing similar would ever happen to me. But I've realised being with her is like a drug addiction and I've had to go cold turkey.

Not the actions of someone looking to be "the best person" they can be.

"we were in love and then suddenly she cuts me off" is actually "we were massively in love - I pull away over summer, I suggest maybe I want to see other people".
You wanted to leave her, you've left her; you've got what you wanted. So leave the poor ex alone, do not contact her, sort yourself out and then see other people.

wow its nice to know you have never made a mistake

I still love her and I will still love her in years to come. I was mistaken I did not want to see other people, I only want to see her

On what planet is the love of your life someone with whom you get on awfully with on holiday?
When you went on holiday did you see other couples that were on holiday and getting on well with each other? When you looked at them were you thinking "I've gotta get me some of that?" Or were you thinking "Look at those fools! Getting on well with each other. How ridiculous!"
In November and December 2024, when you were split up from your girlfriend. What did you do to meet other women? Bearing in mind that term time in November at uni, you were at the best place in the world to meet women.
In those months, what did you do to improve yourself? Or to improve your lot in life?
Mental and emotional strength is highly attractive to women.
Mental and emotional weakness is unattractive.
Do you think that over the last few days you have demonstrated mental and emotional strength? Or mental and emotional weakness?
In response to her message saying that her new boyfriend is taller than you and buys her all her drinks you should have said something like "So the only drink you order now is vintage Champagne?... Reminder to self: 'buy shares in Moet et Chandon.'"
Or "So you've got a stiff neck. And he's got a stiff something else... Wad of rapidly diminishing £20 notes! What did you think I was thinking of?"

facts thats what I used to be like before, I just couldn't keep my composure this time

I really want to get my ex back. I love her a lot.
here is the situation
- We were dating for four years (she is 21 and I am 20)
- I was her first kiss
- we were massively in love
- I pull away over summer, I suggest maybe I want to see other people
- this drives her crazy and she is really upset
- we stay together and we go on holiday. The holiday is terrible. We get on awfully, I nearly break up with her in the airport on the way and tell her to go home.
- this is in October.
- we break up after the holiday but remain in contact
- over Christmas she is calling me all the time its really sad. We meet up a little big and we re kindle a little bit.
I am pretty rude to her and don't always answer her calls though, we are broken up after all.
- we meet up right before we go to uni. and she says she loves me and wants to be together. She says do you want to be in a relationship right now and I say I'm not sure
- term starts. Wednesday she goes to sports night, she is the most loyal girl ever.
- next day she unadds me on everything
- I assume she has met a new guy
- she has
- this COMPLETELY destroys me
- I suddenly realise she was the love of my life, and I feel hopeless without her
- I write her a love letter, she says she doesn't care
- I cry on the phone and say I'm going to kill myself. Which was not true and also ridiculous.
- she still replies to my texts but she is not interested in meeting up with me
- I leave it a couple of days and say I still miss her. We chat on the phone and she ends up bringing up that this guy is taller than me (I'm 6'3) and also is handsome and also buys all of her drinks, she refuses to show me him.
- This sends me into some sort of crazy jealous rage. I write a ego fueled hate message that is horrible, and I say I didn't mean the love letter.
- I call her in the morning and tell her to not read the message and delete it before she can. She doesn't and gets really upset
- I say we should block each other on everything, and we do.
- later in the day I get upset and text her a bit. she replies but is clearly not interested
-next day I randomly text her "I'm outside" (I'm not I'm really far away) to get a reaction ( I am aware this is stupid both before and after sending it)
- she calls me saying she was terrified. and I apologise. She said now she will block me for good.
- She has blocked me on everything for good
- I desperately want her back. We were a great couple. Should I wait 1 month or 1 year or what? should I call her in two weeks and ask how she is? I'm pretty sure she will end up dating this guy. It is very upsetting for me