English Language GCSE P1 Q5

Please would someone have look at what I have written for paper 1 question 5

Prompt - Describe a derelict building.

Answer -
I didn’t see it. I only noticed it was there after it stared into my eyes for what felt like hours. As I got closer to it, I realised it was overrun with a kind of green, gripping monster holding on to it like a new born baby. There was a musty smell coming from the shackled object. Still confusing me. Begging me to know about what it is.
I started to fight with all of the things gripping on to it. Then it hit me. It was a shack. The door opened with a piercing shriek. Golden speckles of pollen flew into the air creating a golden fog that masked everything in yellow. Stumbling through the doorframe, dust kicked up into the air making sure I couldn’t see my own hand in front of me.
The smell of a rotting corpse hit my nose as soon as I stepped in with decay and mildew accompanying it. The plants creeping into the shack proved many years of neglect explaining toppled furniture and shattered glass.
Yet, despite this there was some sort of melancholic beauty to the building. Aqua, yellow and violet were just a few that were part of the kaleidoscope of flowers blooming inside derelict building. Sunlight filtered through the shattered windows were casting shadows that danced across the wall.
One window survived. It was the only one left intact. The light shone upon a mass of dryness. A wisp of smoke could be seen rising. Then a black cloud of soot. Then the shack was gone. Up and away in one big flame.