Are friendships likely to last after sixth form?
Hi, I'm asking a question more to do with social life but it has been on my mind lately. I'm in Y13 and am going to leave secondary in a few months and I'm really worried that I'll lose touch with my friends
I have 3 friends, 2 of which I've known since Y7 and I'd say I'm pretty close with. But since 2 of us are pretty introverted, 1 of us is really busy due to a part time job and all of us don't live within walking distance of each other (from my end it's like over 1 hour on foot to 2 of them) so we don't hang out frequently but do try to meet up for birthdays and days we break up for holiday but it's not like we meet up outside of school every week and I'm scared that this isn't built to last after Y13
Do any of you who have friendships similar still communicate with your friends (like still message frequently or meet up every now and then) because I still want to remain friends and keep up with my secondary school friends even if we don't hang out frequently
I have 3 friends, 2 of which I've known since Y7 and I'd say I'm pretty close with. But since 2 of us are pretty introverted, 1 of us is really busy due to a part time job and all of us don't live within walking distance of each other (from my end it's like over 1 hour on foot to 2 of them) so we don't hang out frequently but do try to meet up for birthdays and days we break up for holiday but it's not like we meet up outside of school every week and I'm scared that this isn't built to last after Y13
Do any of you who have friendships similar still communicate with your friends (like still message frequently or meet up every now and then) because I still want to remain friends and keep up with my secondary school friends even if we don't hang out frequently
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I'm asking a question more to do with social life but it has been on my mind lately. I'm in Y13 and am going to leave secondary in a few months and I'm really worried that I'll lose touch with my friends
I have 3 friends, 2 of which I've known since Y7 and I'd say I'm pretty close with. But since 2 of us are pretty introverted, 1 of us is really busy due to a part time job and all of us don't live within walking distance of each other (from my end it's like over 1 hour on foot to 2 of them) so we don't hang out frequently but do try to meet up for birthdays and days we break up for holiday but it's not like we meet up outside of school every week and I'm scared that this isn't built to last after Y13
Do any of you who have friendships similar still communicate with your friends (like still message frequently or meet up every now and then) because I still want to remain friends and keep up with my secondary school friends even if we don't hang out frequently
I have 3 friends, 2 of which I've known since Y7 and I'd say I'm pretty close with. But since 2 of us are pretty introverted, 1 of us is really busy due to a part time job and all of us don't live within walking distance of each other (from my end it's like over 1 hour on foot to 2 of them) so we don't hang out frequently but do try to meet up for birthdays and days we break up for holiday but it's not like we meet up outside of school every week and I'm scared that this isn't built to last after Y13
Do any of you who have friendships similar still communicate with your friends (like still message frequently or meet up every now and then) because I still want to remain friends and keep up with my secondary school friends even if we don't hang out frequently
As someone who spent an extra year in college, I've found that we always meet up when they get back from uni. It's usually only once but we do make an conscious effort to see one another. I think, friendships are able to last after college/sixth form but only if You're able to put in the effort.
It depends really, because if you are okay with a casual friendship, then seeing one another once a month or every two months won't seem as bad.
Honestly, talk to your friends because them you'll be able to discuss ways to see and talk to eachother often.
Good luck at university OP!
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I'm asking a question more to do with social life but it has been on my mind lately. I'm in Y13 and am going to leave secondary in a few months and I'm really worried that I'll lose touch with my friends
I have 3 friends, 2 of which I've known since Y7 and I'd say I'm pretty close with. But since 2 of us are pretty introverted, 1 of us is really busy due to a part time job and all of us don't live within walking distance of each other (from my end it's like over 1 hour on foot to 2 of them) so we don't hang out frequently but do try to meet up for birthdays and days we break up for holiday but it's not like we meet up outside of school every week and I'm scared that this isn't built to last after Y13
Do any of you who have friendships similar still communicate with your friends (like still message frequently or meet up every now and then) because I still want to remain friends and keep up with my secondary school friends even if we don't hang out frequently
I have 3 friends, 2 of which I've known since Y7 and I'd say I'm pretty close with. But since 2 of us are pretty introverted, 1 of us is really busy due to a part time job and all of us don't live within walking distance of each other (from my end it's like over 1 hour on foot to 2 of them) so we don't hang out frequently but do try to meet up for birthdays and days we break up for holiday but it's not like we meet up outside of school every week and I'm scared that this isn't built to last after Y13
Do any of you who have friendships similar still communicate with your friends (like still message frequently or meet up every now and then) because I still want to remain friends and keep up with my secondary school friends even if we don't hang out frequently
I think it ultimately depends on what sort of bonds exist between the your friendship group and how much effort each of you are willing to put in to maintaining this.
As you're in Year 13, I'm assuming at least some of you will go to University... that may or may not involve moving to a new area. Realistically, your new flatmates and course mates are likely to become your close friends; but there's no reason you can't have your friends over for a couple of weekends a semester, and vice versa (N.B. Can be a great way to check out other peoples uni social life as well). Conversely, at Uni sometimes you'll go home to visit family... so there's no reason you can't hook-up with your friends at the same time? Most people who are at Uni will be up for that sort of thing (for the first year, at least). The one's it may be harder to keep in contact with are those who go straight into work because:-
1) Work commitments may mean they don't have the flexibility to meet up when it's convenient for everyone else and
2) Some people develop at Uni in a way that those who go to work may not... which may mean they naturally grow apart.
However, they can persevere. My brother has had his best friend since they met at primary school when they were 4 years old... apparently, this is how their first conversation went:-
My brother:- Hello
Friend:- Hello
My brother:- Hello
Friend:- Hello
My brother:- Let's be friends.
Decades later, between them they have lived in 5 continents, and have a combined total of 6 children... and they still find time to hook up for a meal and a night out at least once a year. So that's concrete evidence it can work, if the bond between the individuals is strong enough. IMHO, nowadays it's a lot easier with tools like social media... it's a lot easier to keep tabs on people and get re-acquainted with old friends.
Whether this is likely or not isn't really relevant to you. Sometimes these friendships do continue after school/college, and other times they don't. There are, however, two points that I do think are important to make.
The first is that maintaining any friendship requires a degree of effort. It doesn't really matter at all whether you're introverted or extroverted. What matters is that one of you, or one member of a group, makes that effort to send a message or make plans. The way friendships end for the most part is that that just stops happening. It's often not a conscious choice.
The second, however, is not only that friendships do naturally come and go, and strengthen or weaken or over time, but that you can also be in direct contact relatively infrequently and still remain good friends. There is no set amount you need to contact or see each other to remain very good friends. I have three very good friends from school, and a few more than I speak to from time to time. One of those was my best man, but actually I became much closer to him after school. But with all of them, I didn't speak much with them at all for the first year or two after we left school. We all made a bit more of an effort from about third year onwards (when we all turned 21, so we had birthdays to reunite for then), and maintained those friendships after that. But the actual amount that we see and speak to each other varies, and has varied over time. I've gone years without speaking to any of them regularly. But that is very much something that happens in life. Regardless, though, we have always tried to meet up properly once or twice a year, and this year for the first time we're actually going for a long weekend away together. We all have kids now, so that seemed like the best way to get some really sustained and quality time with each other. It's probably something we should have done sooner.
But around those friendships I've made other friends and drifted from other friends. Friendships will very much be in a state of flux throughout your life, and that's ok. Not speaking to someone for years doesn't mean you can't rekindle that contact, and you'll be surprised how often you can make new friends, even when other things in your life seem quite settled.
The first is that maintaining any friendship requires a degree of effort. It doesn't really matter at all whether you're introverted or extroverted. What matters is that one of you, or one member of a group, makes that effort to send a message or make plans. The way friendships end for the most part is that that just stops happening. It's often not a conscious choice.
The second, however, is not only that friendships do naturally come and go, and strengthen or weaken or over time, but that you can also be in direct contact relatively infrequently and still remain good friends. There is no set amount you need to contact or see each other to remain very good friends. I have three very good friends from school, and a few more than I speak to from time to time. One of those was my best man, but actually I became much closer to him after school. But with all of them, I didn't speak much with them at all for the first year or two after we left school. We all made a bit more of an effort from about third year onwards (when we all turned 21, so we had birthdays to reunite for then), and maintained those friendships after that. But the actual amount that we see and speak to each other varies, and has varied over time. I've gone years without speaking to any of them regularly. But that is very much something that happens in life. Regardless, though, we have always tried to meet up properly once or twice a year, and this year for the first time we're actually going for a long weekend away together. We all have kids now, so that seemed like the best way to get some really sustained and quality time with each other. It's probably something we should have done sooner.
But around those friendships I've made other friends and drifted from other friends. Friendships will very much be in a state of flux throughout your life, and that's ok. Not speaking to someone for years doesn't mean you can't rekindle that contact, and you'll be surprised how often you can make new friends, even when other things in your life seem quite settled.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi, I'm asking a question more to do with social life but it has been on my mind lately. I'm in Y13 and am going to leave secondary in a few months and I'm really worried that I'll lose touch with my friends
I have 3 friends, 2 of which I've known since Y7 and I'd say I'm pretty close with. But since 2 of us are pretty introverted, 1 of us is really busy due to a part time job and all of us don't live within walking distance of each other (from my end it's like over 1 hour on foot to 2 of them) so we don't hang out frequently but do try to meet up for birthdays and days we break up for holiday but it's not like we meet up outside of school every week and I'm scared that this isn't built to last after Y13
Do any of you who have friendships similar still communicate with your friends (like still message frequently or meet up every now and then) because I still want to remain friends and keep up with my secondary school friends even if we don't hang out frequently
I have 3 friends, 2 of which I've known since Y7 and I'd say I'm pretty close with. But since 2 of us are pretty introverted, 1 of us is really busy due to a part time job and all of us don't live within walking distance of each other (from my end it's like over 1 hour on foot to 2 of them) so we don't hang out frequently but do try to meet up for birthdays and days we break up for holiday but it's not like we meet up outside of school every week and I'm scared that this isn't built to last after Y13
Do any of you who have friendships similar still communicate with your friends (like still message frequently or meet up every now and then) because I still want to remain friends and keep up with my secondary school friends even if we don't hang out frequently
It does NOT have to be "the end" at all. It depends how much the 2 persons like/love each other. If you want to see how it CAN go, well, then look up "president macron married his teacher" (THAT is a true love story and they were at school together, she has teacher him as pupil. So yes you can remain in touch.
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