The Student Room Group

Noisy Flatmate

Ever since the beggining of the year, my next door flatmate has been playing loud music on speakers nearly all the time she’s in. I can’t study or sleep because of this. I have told her to keep it down and carefully explained to her that the walls are thin and the noise is loud, and I have many assignments to do. At first she said okay, but a few days later, she was back at it again. I can’t recall how many times ive texted her on the group chat that I can’t sleep, but after a few times she just did not care anymore. I have asked the school accomodation services about what I can do about this, and they told me to call security every time I’m being disrupted. So, I’ve called the security on her, and guess what? The next day, she was being loud again. At that point, I thought that she’s purposefully doing this to disturb me. She had been blasting music for hours and it was 11PM, and I had to get up early. I called the security once again. I knew that calling security the day after would create even bigger tension and I’m pretty sure she’s really mad right now.
I feel out of place in my dorm room, and I feel dread seeing her anywhere. Unfortunately there is no other place I can go because I am an international student. I have to spend most of the time in my dorm to complete my assignments, and this problem has taken a toll on my mental health.
On the other hand, I always distrust myself and think that I am making too big of a deal out of this, that it’s just music, but unfortunately I am sensetive to sound. Especially when I am tired after a long day. My ears are bruised from sleeping with earplugs every day, and earplugs don’t even properly cancel out the noise.
Another part of me is annoyed at her because of how disrespectful she’s been towards me, and how she’s turned this into her own ego problem of never apologising and never minding me to show that she can do whatever she wants.
In the end, I just don’t want to keep dealing with people like this, and wish the uni supported me more, so that it would not come to this point of unpleasantness.

Reply 1

Have you considered doing your assingments in a libary? I also don't think it's sensible to choose to live in a flat if you are sensitive to noise.

Reply 2

Original post by frocharlotte
Ever since the beggining of the year, my next door flatmate has been playing loud music on speakers nearly all the time she’s in. I can’t study or sleep because of this. I have told her to keep it down and carefully explained to her that the walls are thin and the noise is loud, and I have many assignments to do. At first she said okay, but a few days later, she was back at it again. I can’t recall how many times ive texted her on the group chat that I can’t sleep, but after a few times she just did not care anymore. I have asked the school accomodation services about what I can do about this, and they told me to call security every time I’m being disrupted. So, I’ve called the security on her, and guess what? The next day, she was being loud again. At that point, I thought that she’s purposefully doing this to disturb me. She had been blasting music for hours and it was 11PM, and I had to get up early. I called the security once again. I knew that calling security the day after would create even bigger tension and I’m pretty sure she’s really mad right now.
I feel out of place in my dorm room, and I feel dread seeing her anywhere. Unfortunately there is no other place I can go because I am an international student. I have to spend most of the time in my dorm to complete my assignments, and this problem has taken a toll on my mental health.
On the other hand, I always distrust myself and think that I am making too big of a deal out of this, that it’s just music, but unfortunately I am sensetive to sound. Especially when I am tired after a long day. My ears are bruised from sleeping with earplugs every day, and earplugs don’t even properly cancel out the noise.
Another part of me is annoyed at her because of how disrespectful she’s been towards me, and how she’s turned this into her own ego problem of never apologising and never minding me to show that she can do whatever she wants.
In the end, I just don’t want to keep dealing with people like this, and wish the uni supported me more, so that it would not come to this point of unpleasantness.

THE Best ear plugs I have used are from BOOTS and are Wax ones. They really are very very good, not perfect but would give an 8 or 9 out of 10. Squeeze them until softish and then make a cone shape and press the narrower part right into ear and then press. until they are hard in there. Wont hear much then and they dont bruise or hurt at all.

Also try this "music" on both ear buds so is stereo.

https://mynoise.net/NoiseMachines/binauralBrainwaveGenerator.php

To help others please let us know how it goes and if these work .

Reply 3

Original post by YaGoatedBOI1889
Have you considered doing your assingments in a libary? I also don't think it's sensible to choose to live in a flat if you are sensitive to noise.

With all due respect, sometimes it is hard to get to university libraries, especially if someone lives off-campus, or the weather has been bad, or if you feel unsafe walking in the dark if someone works better in the evenings.

This is not just noise, this is someone who has no respect for the people around them. Playing music for hours until at least 11pm is crazy. It's a much easier solution to ask a residence warden to ask the flatmate to use some headphones if they have some instead of op hurting their ears with earbuds and you telling op they shouldn't have picked a flat. Flat tenancies are contracts and often the cheapest alternative to a private 1-room/studio accommodation. Uni students are famously financially drained due to tuition fees, rent, food costs alone so implying that someone should have chosen a better (and likely more expensive) alternative is wild.

Reply 4

Original post by Anonymous
With all due respect, sometimes it is hard to get to university libraries, especially if someone lives off-campus, or the weather has been bad, or if you feel unsafe walking in the dark if someone works better in the evenings.
This is not just noise, this is someone who has no respect for the people around them. Playing music for hours until at least 11pm is crazy. It's a much easier solution to ask a residence warden to ask the flatmate to use some headphones if they have some instead of op hurting their ears with earbuds and you telling op they shouldn't have picked a flat. Flat tenancies are contracts and often the cheapest alternative to a private 1-room/studio accommodation. Uni students are famously financially drained due to tuition fees, rent, food costs alone so implying that someone should have chosen a better (and likely more expensive) alternative is wild.

Most accommodations do also offer study spaces and lounges. And playing music until 11pm would be crazy, assuming you are entitled to complete silence 24/7. The reality is that living in a flat means having to hear people around you.

Idk what to say if you think that somebody relaxing in their room with music has no respect for anyone while OP simultaneously makes demands from their flatmates and calls them out publicly on a group chat. Imagine being in your own home, minding your business, only to have someone call security on you. Wild.

Reply 5

Original post by Anonymous
With all due respect, sometimes it is hard to get to university libraries, especially if someone lives off-campus, or the weather has been bad, or if you feel unsafe walking in the dark if someone works better in the evenings.
This is not just noise, this is someone who has no respect for the people around them. Playing music for hours until at least 11pm is crazy. It's a much easier solution to ask a residence warden to ask the flatmate to use some headphones if they have some instead of op hurting their ears with earbuds and you telling op they shouldn't have picked a flat. Flat tenancies are contracts and often the cheapest alternative to a private 1-room/studio accommodation. Uni students are famously financially drained due to tuition fees, rent, food costs alone so implying that someone should have chosen a better (and likely more expensive) alternative is wild.

Most accommodations also offer study spaces and lounges! And I can see how playing music until 11pm would be crazy, assuming you are entitled to complete silence 24/7. The reality is that living in a flat means having to hear people around you.

Idk what to say if you think somebody relaxing in their room with music has no respect for anyone while OP simultaneously makes demands from their flatmates and calls them out publicly on groupchats. Imagine being in your own home minding your business only to have someone call security on you.





I am surprised that the accommodation team referred this to security. It’s not a security issue, and is within the remit of the residential team to smooth these kind of clashes over. Getting security involved is always going to escalate matters rather than making the other party reflect on what they’re doing.

Could you speak to your student union for advice?

Reply 7

Original post by YaGoatedBOI1889
Most accommodations also offer study spaces and lounges! And I can see how playing music until 11pm would be crazy, assuming you are entitled to complete silence 24/7. The reality is that living in a flat means having to hear people around you.
Idk what to say if you think somebody relaxing in their room with music has no respect for anyone while OP simultaneously makes demands from their flatmates and calls them out publicly on groupchats. Imagine being in your own home minding your business only to have someone call security on you.


Imagine not being able to sleep in your own home when you have class in the morning because someones relaxing next room by blasting music. I play music too, but I mind the volume. And if someone told me its bothering them I’d definitely never listen at that volume again. It’s a really simple thing to do if youre not a selfish person.

Reply 8

Original post by Admit-One
I am surprised that the accommodation team referred this to security. It’s not a security issue, and is within the remit of the residential team to smooth these kind of clashes over. Getting security involved is always going to escalate matters rather than making the other party reflect on what they’re doing.
Could you speak to your student union for advice?

That’s what I thought too, but reslife keeps telling me to call them, because they can’t do anything about the matter if I don’t. Ultimately, I just want to move to a different room but apparently there are no rooms available.
How could the Student Union help? I only know that they organise events for students.

Reply 9

Original post by Anonymous
With all due respect, sometimes it is hard to get to university libraries, especially if someone lives off-campus, or the weather has been bad, or if you feel unsafe walking in the dark if someone works better in the evenings.
This is not just noise, this is someone who has no respect for the people around them. Playing music for hours until at least 11pm is crazy. It's a much easier solution to ask a residence warden to ask the flatmate to use some headphones if they have some instead of op hurting their ears with earbuds and you telling op they shouldn't have picked a flat. Flat tenancies are contracts and often the cheapest alternative to a private 1-room/studio accommodation. Uni students are famously financially drained due to tuition fees, rent, food costs alone so implying that someone should have chosen a better (and likely more expensive) alternative is wild.

"Uni students are famously financially drained due to tuition fees, rent, food costs alone so implying that someone should have chosen a better (and likely more expensive) alternative is wild."

It's not that they 'should' have, but it's just the reality of housing. If you're shopping at the lower end with a v limited budget it's more likely to be crowded & noisy. If you want more privacy, space or sound insulation all are more desirable and cost more.
Original post by frocharlotte
That’s what I thought too, but reslife keeps telling me to call them, because they can’t do anything about the matter if I don’t. Ultimately, I just want to move to a different room but apparently there are no rooms available.
How could the Student Union help? I only know that they organise events for students.


The SU do a lot more than run societies. They're also your advocates where you need advice and guidance independent from the uni administration itself. They should be able to tell who you need to speak to, and what process to follow.

Another option would be to speak to the Wellbeing team, who again should be able to signpost you to the correct place.

Is 'reslife' is a private accommodation company, or the residential team at the uni?

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