Do you think good looking people have much easier lives

The people at university are more confident and have more friends and get into relationships easier etc

Reply 1

It has been scientifically observed and proven that those who are good looking receive benefit from it in a variety of ways. However, I do want to qualify that with two points.

First, the extent to which a person is attractive is hugely subjective, and there are relatively few people that are objectively extremely attractive. There has, again, been scientific testing on this (there was a recent Times The Story podcast on it which was interesting) and as part of that it did attempt to define how 'attractive' individuals are. Invariably, most people fall into the middle range, and very few are at the very high or low range. But beyond that, there are a lot of teenagers and others on this forum who bemoan the fact that they are not attractive, but what they miss is that there are so many things that individuals can do to make themselves more attractive. Working out and actually altering your physique is one, but there are so many more. Getting your hair cut properly. Getting clothes that suit you and actually fit properly. You'll feel better doing those things as well, which will boost your self esteem and make you more confident as a result. So for people reading this thread and feeling down about the attractive people who are getting all the dates, forget them and focus on yourself. Be kinder to yourself, and do things to boost yourself. It's amazing how relatively small things can make massive differences in this respect.

Second, as much as being attractive is an advantage, any given situation, be it trying to get a date with someone, getting a job, or whatever else, have so many variables involved that you cannot point to one thing that has definitively caused any given outcome. People and situations are complex, and distilling them down to one factor is neither accurate nor helpful. And again, it particularly isn't in a situation where you're down about your own perceived attractiveness and comparing yourself to others. That isn't only extremely unhelpful, but it is also right. You're comparing one or two aspects of someone else's life to the many more complex aspects of your own. That is just not the right way to do it. You might be able to highlight someone as attractive, but you have no idea what other difficulties they're dealing with, or positives that they have, because people largely don't make other people aware of those. In a book I read recently it was suggested that people "drop comparing their insides to other people's outsides", and I think that's a really good way of putting it. Just stop making these comparisons and focus on your own wellbeing.

Reply 2

Dunnig Kruger

Out of all the people born in the UK with a significant advantage in the looks department: something like 60% of them will have thrown away their advantage by their 30th birthday. With this figure rising as they approach their 40th and then 50th birthday.

How so? By becoming overweight or obese.
Someone with a plain face that is neither overweight nor obese will tend to be at least as physically attractive as someone born with great looks that is now overweight or obese.

Furthermore, having the sort of diet and lifestyle that avoids getting overweight, tends to promote being in a good mood.
Adding a beneficial effect to the attractiveness of that person's personality.

On top of that there's another factor that's far more important than looks when it comes to how easy your life is.
That factor is how cunning / clever / wise you are when it comes to how you live your life.

The biggest barrier to having an easy life - for most people - is themselves.

Reply 3

EuropeanIAm

Depends how you define good looking and no people can't be judged just on the surface.

Reply 4

Rakas21

I would say yes in the case of an attractive woman, they can basically choose to live life on easy mode if they wish.

If your a 20 year old skinny blonde and you have the willpower not to sleep around and persue marriage then you can basically land a 30 year old banker or lawyer and be a stay at home wife. Even if you do date around, young, wealthy men invite women on holidays to Dubai and stuff.

And if they have no morals that hot woman can just have sex, stick it on Onlyfans and make six figures.

Reply 5

Zarek

To be honest I’m not sure. While it must be great to not suffer regular rejection, the attractive set do seem to have their own league of angst and whether they’re really happier is debatable

Reply 6

Dunnig Kruger

Original post

by Rakas21

I would say yes in the case of an attractive woman, they can basically choose to live life on easy mode if they wish.
If your a 20 year old skinny blonde and you have the willpower not to sleep around and persue marriage then you can basically land a 30 year old banker or lawyer and be a stay at home wife. Even if you do date around, young, wealthy men invite women on holidays to Dubai and stuff.
And if they have no morals that hot woman can just have sex, stick it on Onlyfans and make six figures.

So you think being a housewife is life on easy mode?

With the pain of childbirth and what that does to a woman's body?
And being beholden to a man that may not be easy to live with. Especially if he's the sort of guy that thinks that his wife is on easy mode.
With the daily drudgery of being nanny, chauffeur, maid, cook, butler, nurse, psychiatrist, gardener, secretary all rolled into one.
Including the general lack of freedom with such a role.

And - when it comes down to it - any 20 year, or indeed any 15 year old can start their own youtube channel on something they're passionate about and earn 6 figures. Or they can start some other business and earn 6, 7, 8 figures.

Reply 7

Old Skool Freak

Original post

by Anonymous

The people at university are more confident and have more friends and get into relationships easier etc

If you're asking "Does 'pretty-privilege' exist?", then I can say yes; because I've experienced both sides of the coin.

Without meaning to sound arrogant or big-headed, I'm a reasonably good looking guy. I'm not claiming to rival the likes of Harry Styles, Justin Bieber (or whoever teenagers & young women cream themselves over these days), but I definitely get my fair share of attention when out and about. I also had a very active social life until recently (work and other commitments).

However, a few years ago, I got stung by an insect, and my whole face had swollen up like a balloon... I'm not joking, I was literally a potato-head, and when I looked in the mirror, I could hardly recognise myself. When I was out during that time, I noticed people were looking / staring at me... but it was nothing like what I was used to. I could sense that people were repelled / repulsed, and I particularly remember one little girl (must have been about 8-10 years old) cringed and hid behind her mother when she saw me. Thankfully, I don't have any photographic evidence of how bad I was (I'd probably have broken the camera)… but put it this way, if someone passed me a brown paper bag, I'd have probably said "Thank you" and wore it. I was that self conscious. I was so relieved when the swelling went down after a week and a bit.

But these were the extremes; although there may be differences, I guess it would be less obvious / profound comparing a good looking person with an average person.

Having said all that, @Crazy Jamie is right. There are a lot of variables that ultimately determine someone's desirability, including interests, personality etc. and you need to be proactive and a bit of luck comes into it as well (being in the right place at the right time). Also, no one is born with a Silver Spoon in their mouth, most people who are good looking have to put some significant effort into their appearance. For example, have you any idea how much time I spend in the Gym? Not to mention dietary requirements and other sacrifices (I hardly drink). Those pretty girls you see often take hours to get ready to go out, as well as whatever they do to maintain their physiques.

Original post

by Zarek

To be honest I’m not sure. While it must be great to suffer regular rejection, the attractive set do seem to have their own league of angst and whether they’re really happier is debatable

This.

People go on and on about the attention good looking people may get... but what they fail to realise is that not ALL attention is good or wanted. For example, if a girl wants to dress in a "sexy" way, then as well as the cute guys, she's gonna get cat-called by the local builders / yobbos; she'll get stalked by weirdos & creeps; she'll get hassled on the streets by Pick-Up-Artist types etc. To an extent, it's the same for guys... only as well as girls you don't like, you'll get a few guys mentally undressing you as well (it does happen lol).

That's the thing, it's a package deal and you can't "Pick and Choose" who finds you attractive.

The other advantage about being average / less attractive, is probably you don't fear aging so much. Most people probably look their best in their 20's (N.B. There are some late bloomers, who peak in their 30's, and very few who are in their 40's (Personally, I think Davina McCall looked her best in her 40's)). Either way, if you were never anything special in the first place, you've got less to lose than those who their looks meant everything to them by growing old. Some people might say things like Plastic Surgery may help... but IMHO, it's seldom a natural look (including Botox)... and can occasionally go wrong.

Reply 8

Rakas21

Original post

by Dunnig Kruger

So you think being a housewife is life on easy mode?
With the pain of childbirth and what that does to a woman's body?
And being beholden to a man that may not be easy to live with. Especially if he's the sort of guy that thinks that his wife is on easy mode.
With the daily drudgery of being nanny, chauffeur, maid, cook, butler, nurse, psychiatrist, gardener, secretary all rolled into one.
Including the general lack of freedom with such a role.
And - when it comes down to it - any 20 year, or indeed any 15 year old can start their own youtube channel on something they're passionate about and earn 6 figures. Or they can start some other business and earn 6, 7, 8 figures.

I’m talking in relative terms here, there’s always some trade off however in a world where money was no object and women had the choice between raising children at home or being a careerist, surveys have previously showed that women would prefer the idea of family. So yes, I would say that a pretty girl in her early twenties married to a high earner is living life on easy mode even if she is having to do something.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

I can't speak for girls but if you are a good looking guy there are upsides and downsides.
Downsides: getting hit on by gay guys if you're straight and unwanted crushes.
Also, probably more than half of all women are hopeless around good looking guys, they get nervous, they blush, they are shy, they don't know what to say or they act totally weird around you.
Upsides: attractive girls often like you, especially the ones that look really sexy.
Going on holiday: you get hit on constantly by women, in most countries women aren't as shy around good looking guys as they are here.
People say good looks help you in the workplace but I don't really agree. You might land an interview more easily but unless you are working in an industry where you have to look good for some reason it's all about your work in the end.

Reply 10

EuropeanIAm

Original post

by Dunnig Kruger

So you think being a housewife is life on easy mode?
With the pain of childbirth and what that does to a woman's body?
And being beholden to a man that may not be easy to live with. Especially if he's the sort of guy that thinks that his wife is on easy mode.
With the daily drudgery of being nanny, chauffeur, maid, cook, butler, nurse, psychiatrist, gardener, secretary all rolled into one.
Including the general lack of freedom with such a role.
And - when it comes down to it - any 20 year, or indeed any 15 year old can start their own youtube channel on something they're passionate about and earn 6 figures. Or they can start some other business and earn 6, 7, 8 figures.

It's that easy to make a profitable business? Don't think so.

Reply 11

Dunnig Kruger

Original post

by EuropeanIAm

It's that easy to make a profitable business? Don't think so.

It's overall as easy to make a profitable business as it is to be an employee.

If you're clever / wise / well-advised when it comes to your business.

As an employee you're looking at the prospect of:
Commuting time to the place where you work.
Time spent making yourself look and smell presentable - according to the culture of the place you work at.
Doing a repetitive task.
Working for supervisors that are less competent than you.
Putting up with the **** that supervisors and colleagues throw your way.
Working when they want you to work
Spending time at work, even when there's nothing productive for you to do
Being sacked or made redundant for reasons beyond your control
Corporate politics
etc etc etc

A relatively brief time spent working for someone else whilst you acquire skills that you will use in your own business may make a lot of sense.
But working for your whole career as an employee of someone else's organisation. That's not making your life easy. It's making your life more difficult than it has to be.

Reply 12

Old Skool Freak

Original post

by Anonymous

I think this post is pretty much spot-on (PRSOM BTW)

The only thing I'd dispute is that in the Western World in 2025, it's not necessarily such a bad thing to get a bit of attention from guys... provided they respect the fact that you're straight. Thanks to first the so-called Metrosexual man (and more recently, the whole "Gym-Bro" subculture), it's more acceptable for a guy to openly say another guy is good looking nowadays than, say, last century. I've had a few guys show interest in me, but so far, only one had ever made me feel uncomfortable (most times, their efforts just made me laugh / cringe).

I would like to add that another disadvantage is that you're more likely to get stereotyped by other people. People will often assume you're shallow, arrogant, "vacant upstairs" and all of the other pre-conceptions associated with looks, and that a good looking persons life is perfect (the very fact the OP has even asked this question is evidence of this). Ironically, most of the things people do to improve or maintain their looks (e.g. training, hairstyle / make-up etc.) often stem from insecurities about their physical appearance lol. I appreciate this does sound like a typical "First World Problem", but in discussions regarding grown up subjects (e.g. politics, current affairs etc.) your opinion may not be taken seriously if you're good looking; that's if you get the chance to voice your opinion at all. You typically have to some how prove your intelligence before you're given the time of day.

Not sure about "getting hit on constantly by women", but I do agree about foreign girls being far more forward than British girls (speaking from my experience, in general). My experience is mainly with European, African, and a few South American girls. What I find is, if they like you, they like you... they tend not to do all the game playing that (again from my experience) British girls will often partake. The one exception are Polish girls who (from my experience, at least), can be just as confusing as British girls. Anyway... they are "First World Problems" 🤣.. there's far worse stuff going on in the world.