Can't get over my ex boyfriend

I split up with my boyfriend about a month ago, basically I'd moved away to uni and it just wasn't working with the distance. Although I felt we could have gone a bit longer, I did realise that breaking up was inevitable. I suppose the split was mutual, perhaps slightly more him than me.

For the first week I was devastated, then after that had been a lot better, and felt very realistic about it all, realising it was the right thing to do etc. I was sure we could stay friends because there hadn't been any arguments or anything, it was just crappy circumstances.

Anyway, I'm now home for Christmas, and I've seen him quite a lot already, just because we have a similar circle of friends. I'm still insanely attracted to him, and speaking to him as friends is just making me realise what a great person he is as well.

I know getting back together is out of the question.. the circumstances that broke us up aren't going to change for another five years. But I just can't forget about him, I can't move on properly and it's really getting me down.

Also I think I rebounded onto a good friend, and am now feeling horribly guilty about that because I still obviously have feelings for my ex. Please help. I'm sure this isn't an uncommon situation - is there anything you could advise me to do?

Reply 1

The Legacy 1

Speak to him about this and tell him exactly how you feel. Hopefully he'll be able to convince you it's for the best due to the distance.

Maybe this will give you closure.

Reply 2

randdom

Getting over someone can be really difficult especially when you are seeing them a lot. Maybe as hard as it may be you just need to avoid seeing him for a bit. Obviously if you are both at the same gathering then it will be hard but you could not talk to him as much.

Its a really hard situation but obviously things aren't going well as they currently are.

Have you mentioned to him how you are feeling? Maybe if you spoke about it with him it would help?

Reply 3

jaw

I beleive after a relationship you need time to detox and not be with anyone personally.. You've only got too choices really, try to get on with life in the light that it wasnt going to work due to the distance, or if he feels the same, do everything you can to make it work. its always more difficult to start with - I split up with my gf for the exact same reasons when she went uni..

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

I don't want to talk to him about it... I was really upset when we broke up, and since then I've sort of managed to put up the face of being fine and happy and stuff. Well tbh I was fine and happy! I don't want him to think I'm still hung up on him because it'll probably ruin our friendship and make things really uncomfortable.

I think avoiding him a little is probably the best plan. It's really difficult being with him, but not being with him if you get me.